Hey You. Yeah you.

 

 

 

Dear Bagel,

I see you differently.

It’s like I cherished you when you were a wee baby, I adored every coo and sound you made. I loved to play with you, listen to you, and be around you.

Sadly I got sick. PPD, then now PTSD. It’s caused me to be SO short with you, to yell at you EVERY time you whine, my empathy for you has been almost nothing.

Sometimes I had to stop myself, when you are sick, or over tired, I need to learn that your just a kid, to enjoy your kid-ness.

Just lately… I’ve seen you differently.

Your smile, your energy, your laugh, your silliness, your imagination, your love to tinker, create and play.

I stop and stare at you. I adore you. Not that I ever stopped, but now it’s my heart that reminds me that you are a mini me, and  I need to suck up every second of wonderful you that I have.

I’m sorry for how angry, and sad I have been over the last few years. I took these pictures just a few minutes ago. Over breakfast. Just you and Me. Weaky is still sleeping.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a beautiful girl. With my yellow hair, blue eyes, and personality. Love for art, creativity, and talking SO much. Your Daddy’s face and smarts.

Remind me daily that you are me. The tiny me that was once care free, bill free, stress free. To watch life again through you.

I am in love with you Bagel. Forever.

xo…