My OCD letter to you

Spaghetti worked night shift at the casino from November 2005 until June of 2009. It was 4 1/2 years. LONG years.

He started night shift right when I was pregnant with Bagel, his shift starting at 10 pm, and ending at 6 am. It wasn't a horrible shift to say, for the fact that we could still attend events, get togethers, whatever. He just got alot less sleep then everyone else.

Spaghetti and I worked things out, so he worked the Casino at night, and picked up the Video store durring the day. Durring the baseball season, he works at Wrigley Field in Chicago. All this so I could stay home with Bagel.

Soon after Bagel we decided to try for Weaky, very lucky to get pregnant so fast we had two kids, 22 months apart (to some that is INSANLY close in age, but for others they fit three kids in that time span!)

April through September is Baseball season, in which Spaghetti was gone a good part of the time, the bit he was home, he was passed out from exhaustion.

I always was good with being OCD on door locks. Car doors, house doors, even bedroom doors. But when Spagehtti started to work nights I went into major OCD, but when he had the combination of Wrigley, nights at the Casino and the other few hours a week at the Video store, I became officially OCD on door locks.

Toss in two small kids. And I became a full fledged freak. Now I've never been diagnosed with OCDness but I may fall into some sort of catagory.

I thought my OCD craziness was going away. Since it has been 6 months of Spaghetti on his wonderful day shift. Ah 6 am is a bit early but 2 pm is SO nice to have him home. And knowing that no matter the jobs he works he would be home with me at night.

Until tonight. Kind of random, but he hasn't closed the Video store (which is open till midnight!) in those 6 months. And so I am tired, and I have come to realize that I have found lots of mindless things to do to keep myself away at almost 12 am!

I am exhaused but I have gotten up twice to check the doors. And again now to check the windows. I have been SO spoiled by Spaghetti being home by my side each night for these past 6 months that I forgot how OCD I get over the safety of myself and the kids.

I checked the back door, the lock the bar in the door. I checked the kitchen and pool room windows. I checked the front room, front door and screen door. I locked the inside garage door and then after locking it all up. I unlock it and look back into the garage to make sure the garage door is down. Then relock everything again.

Hope Spaghetti will be home soon, it's almost midnight, and my typing is driving me nuts. I am typing most the wrods like that. WORDS. I'm pooped, maybe if I watch t.v. in bed.

Good night blog land.

Feisty

2010's New and Improved me.

I've got some new and improved plans for 2010. I like that it's one of those even years. A big brand shiney new decade.

A decade of new starts.

I see alot of my friends on Facebook stating that they have no resolutions, just good hopes for a new year. I mean sure, if you don't have all the issues I do, I remember before kids, and when I was skinny, I didn't know what to say was my resolutions.

Oh but now that I have had a home, and kids, and so much on my plate. I am thinking that 01-01-2010 will be the start of something great.

Now lets cover my current status, and then what I need to do with that status, for those of you who are new here. I won't be beating around any bushes, so lets just be blunt.

I am fat. STOP saying I'm not.

I once was a very cute, petite, 107 lbs. Sure it's tiny but at only 5 feet tall that was a fun weight. I am now weighing in at... fuck I hate even typing the numbers... as of this morning... 141... I am 34 lbs more then I want to be. I am SO tired of the "well you did have two kids" great, sure I did but um the youngest is 20 months, and I am over postpartum so I am me again. And I am sadly 10 lbs heavier then when I went in for my 6 week check up after I had Weaky.

So below is a paint (I know, I know, mad paint skillz here) project I made. Of my fat ass, highlighed in yellow are the area's that need some...well to be blunt... lypo? Since lypo ain't in the budget, we can work on it the el natural way. starvation and insane work out routine

SO I have plans.

In the fantabulous blogosphere we have my new friend, Dual Mom, over at Were At Dad's That Week" who had the details on this whole Lose it Bitch idea.
I would post them here but I'd probably screw that up. Check her out, tell her Feisty sent ya. Oh but I do know to tell you to check in on my fat ass each Wednesday to see my check in results. If your a blogger and up for the challenge feel free to join in.

Alright, so here's the master plan... my diet will consist of these rules...

1. 
   
   Portion control. This is HUGE for me. I am a P.I.G. when it comes to food.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Less carbs. No carbs isn't healthy and I don't think I would last 2 hours with out them.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   No pop. Alright thanks to my sister who hates pop, I too never really drank it as a kid. And since Spaghetti hasn't had a drop of pop since September (I am SO proud!) I think I can give that up.
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Coffee is allowed. Otherwise people will die.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Lots of protien, I love chicken, yogurts are fun too. Eggs, salads are fun if you have to right stuff in them. So I can tweak the diet. I'm not getting all tofu and salmon pattie crazy here.
   
   
   
6. 
   
   Exercise. Alright so P90X was fun, but it was a bit much to start with. SO we will be starting with a mix of my own. A bit of P90X with a bit of On Demand Yoga and some of my favorite Giaim ball exercises. When we see the sun again and it's above freezing I would love to start walking again (but that is MONTHS from now)
   
   
   
7. 
   
   Declutter the house. Weird I know. But from what I read the less clutter we have, the easier it is to diet and be healthy. Like a healthy house, healthy me? Sure I'll buy it.
   
   
   

Alright that is just the weight loss resolution. Moving on.

Declutter. This is an ongoing thing. I started the process in the fall 2008. I have been doing good, I have organized and found a place for so many of my things. I still have LOTS to do. But it's coming along great!

Budget. Alright, so paying bills isn't budgeting. I am the accountant of the family I guess. Spaghetti makes it, I budget it. And not very well. With a bit of the numbers crunched I figured out that Spaghetti's main job at the Casino is $15 more then we have in bill each month. Sad I know. BUT that is why we have the Video store job. That is our food and gas $$. I just need to learn NOT to blow all the Video store money the second we get it.

I had a long talk with my dad last night about budget. It was good. And I asked him if I could check in more often about what I'm doing. Don't think Spaghetti doens't know, he does. But my dad is the master of budgets, and even though our budgets are a world apart. My dad did budget for a family of 4 on just his unemployment when my sister was just born.

It has to do with less of the debit card, and I have to have cash to go buy things. I think this will help me alot. I seem to have a small Carrots on my shoulder

when I have cash in hand. I am very good at not spending cash. (weird maybe?)

Family Time This one is big. I think it's going to be easier now that Weaky is bigger, and walking. I'm not saying we don't spend a ton of time with our family, but after such a devastating year losing both Spaghetti's Gramma Dorthy and Uncle T. that we have all wanted to make family time more important.

Frances has a Zoo membership, and Chicago has the free Lincoln Park Zoo. There is Starved Rock State Park, not to mention all the bike rides to the local parks we have around here.

A small big thing, is my store. My mom the Queen and I have been talking of our own store, of fun arts and crafts things, for years, and years. Maybe, just maybe... but I have to make stuff, to sell. So this year will be focused on working on my projects, hoping for a Etsy shop in 2011?

There's little things too. Like to keep staying organized in my Stampin' Up! business, to Scrapbook WAY more, to possibly procrasinate less, to send out Birthday cards, and thank you's (since I do that for a living anyway!) and to just really take in 2010 as a New and Improved me. To grasp the 31 year old me by the shirt and tell her it's time to get it together, and enjoy what you've got.

So hold up your drinks, coffee, water, wine, mine is a McD's LARGE coke (last one for a LOOOOONNNGGGG time) and cheers to new decade!

Happy 2010!!

A bit about me.

I was over at Low Expectations and found this, thought it would be fun to share...

I am: a daughter, sister, wife, mom and best friend




I think: A good sports bra, clean underware, and my long underware once piece pj's are the best!



I know: that I am unconventional.



I have: WAY to much stuff!



I wish: The same thing I have wished for years. That Frances could talk again.



I hate: Pessimists, pushy religious people, racists, and people who make fun of gays.



I miss: My Gramma's and Grampa. I miss my Aunt & Uncle. And Spaghetti's Uncle T.



I fear: Losing my family.



I hear: The silence from the kids as they watch the Incredibles



I smell: my Chirstmas Wreath candle. Mmmm...



I crave: To be 107 lbs and have long blonde hair again!!



I search: For the right balance. From house work, to the kids, to me and Spaghetti, to family, and just some me time



I wonder: If I will ever get a hold on my laundry issues.



I regret: Nothing. I can't change the past.



I love: That Blogger exists. That I can be me, journal and I love to meet other kick ass bloggers out there.



I ache: For Cuz, Banjo and Aunt N. the loss of Uncle T this year to an unexpected brain tumor shook the whole family. I can't imagine what this holiday was like with out him. RIP.


I am not: always as good with the budget as I would hope to be. I get so angry when I over draft us.



I try: to be a better person. Every chance I get.



I believe: That your choice of religion or lack there of shouldn't define you as a person.



I dance: at all oportunities.



I sing: when I am alone, in the car. I won't even subject the kids to it!



I cry: When I am touched by something sweet.



I fight: the urge to just stay fat along with the rest of the mom's I know. Or suck it up and fight to be back to the me I once loved.



I lose: my mind. often.



I never: assume I am save. I am ALWAYS on guard.



I always: have chapstick in my pocket!



I confuse: Left and right! But I am kick ass at directions!



I listen: to pop and hip hop (not rap. Understand the difference!)



I can usually be found: In the loft, In the kitchen or in the art room


I need: to scrapbook, and set up my class schedule!



I am happy: when I have had coffee. And some me time.



I imagine: All the time! I imagine being rich, or at least comfortable enough to buy food each week. I imagine telling my MIL to stop working, and to go pick Spaghetti up from work with the news he can quit. I wonder when I will be at the point where I don't freak each time we pay bills. When the kids are out of collage? When we can retire?

I passed Cranberry sauce through my nose

This story never gets old.. hope you enjoy... and piss your pants like I did...

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.


What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?'

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door..

'What the hell is that?' she asked.

My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'

'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.

I kept my mouth shut. '

Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.

'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless.

'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'

Again, I could have answered, but why would I?

It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed.

I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health..

I can't wait until next Christmas.

I find happy in the joy of a pillow pet and a ball pit.

Here's my Merry...

One 20 month old who loves his new Cars ball pit...

And one 3 1/2 year old who is in LOVE with her Purple Hungry Hippo Pillow Pet!

Those are the two things that makes me the merriest, happiest, and the most proud. That I was able to find that gift that made my kids SO happy.

We didn't go to overboard, we know that even though they don't want to, Gramma and Grampa Mc, and Gigi and Papa and Aunt Susie will for us.

I was smart to remove ALL the toys from the from toy room, we can EASILY fill it with Christmas.

I am happy with what I got, the new Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol from Spaghetti. I got him two gift cards. (iTunes and Cold Stone) Not alot, but when you are close to broke, I would rather give it to the kids.

If you know me you know I am not religious (no I don't want a debate on it) so the whole CHRISTmas thing is just a word to me. I say it to those I know like to hear it, and I say "Have a good Holiday" to everyone else.

Jesus is not the reason for my season, not even close. My kids, my husband, my parents, sister, and In Law's Mc are the reason. My best friend Aerial, and extended family. That is my reason. To remind everyone that we love them, and to buy presents because we care.

To take care of someone who is less fortunate, and to be a bit more kind to those around us. That is what Christmas is all about to me. If your reason is Jesus good for you. Just understand he is not my reason. (BTW the Queen got me a God book for moms. Really? What am I going to do with it? She knows where I stand on this. Not amused. Not. Amused.)

It doesn't make me a bad person. I'm not going to hell for it either. I have good morals, and a happy spirit about myself. So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and to whatever you do or don't celebrate, may it be merry and safe.

And now it's late, I have had many days of celebrating this Holiday in a row (5 to be exact) so I am going to end this ramble on the note that I love the Pooh hoodie I am in from my the Queen and Carrots, and I LOVE the coffee pot that Frances got me. All set up and ready!

Good Night Blogger. Merry Whatever to you and yours.

Peace out.

QuEeN oF fEiStY

From: The Queen of Feisty To: You

Merry Christmas to your family from the Mc's family. To all my Blogger family Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate, may it be happy, and with the ones you love most.

To my Angels above me, Gramma W. Gramma Alice, Grampa John, Uncle Jim and Aunt Karen, Spaghetti's Gramma Mc and Gramma Dorthy and to his Uncle T. Love and miss you all so much. It was a rough year, losing both Gramma Dorthy and Uncle T just this year. But maybe such a big loss taught us all to hold each other a bit closer.

I enjoyed the new traditions of listening to the "Night Before Christmas" (in the recordable Halmark book) by my mom the Queen. I gave Bagel the purple Tickey blanket she wanted me to make her. She opened it, ran around squeeling with it, then came over and gave me a kiss, and said "It's so sweet you made this for ME!"
(Weaky was already in bed)

Santa just finished putting out gifts, filling stockings, and is now off to bed. Good night to everyone, Merry Christmas!!

A bit about my day. A short story and more Christmas Eve rambling.

Oh my.

I have ALOT to do today.

I am on my own. Spaghetti has to work until 2:30.

People are coming at 4. 21 of them to be exact.

I just need to figure out where to keep the kids for the next 8 hours.

So they can destroy only one room.

Front room? I'm thinking a movie marathon until nap time.

Lots to do. Need coffee...

Need to focus...

Hope my back doesn't go out again. It did last night.

Fuck me.

Oh so I wanted to share a story with you (from my old blog) and yes it pertains to tonight...

A US man was in a critical but stable condition after suffering an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head at one of Cambodia's famous military shooting ranges, police said Thursday.

The 33 year old had fired seven bullets of a 10-shot round at one of the capital's most popular tourist attractions before apparently deliberately firing a single bullet through his own jaw, according to Interior Ministry penal police chief Mok Chito said'We do not know if he had a military background or what was in his mind,' Mok Chito said. 'He obviously brought a problem with him to Cambodia.'

The bullet exited through the back of his head and he was rushed to Calmette Hospital, where doctors reported he was likely to survive, but did not give further details of the damage sustained.

 So what does a parent do, when there phone rings. And the caller id comes up... United States Embassy, Cambodia?

$40,000.00 is what it would cost you to move a fatally injured person by plane, with medical staff from a third world country to the nearest first world country. Which means Spaghetti's Aunt and Uncle just shelled out a SHIT LOAD of money to fly their son from Cambodia's dirty hospital to Taiwan's, I guess cleaner first world hospital.

Alright so that is the story as of May 2008. Fast forward to now. Cousin, we will call him Bitter because he is quite angry still. I am guessing I would be pretty pissed if I tried to off myself and woke up in a hospital.

So Bitter's status is he is wheel chair bound, and is working on walking again. I am told his face is fine, he just lost some of his moter skills. (how do you spell motor? motter? it just doesn't look right...)

Insane right? I mean a perfectly fit human and he goes and attempts to blow it all away, causing his family a SHIT load of money, and the grief. Anywho, the point of my story?

For the first time in 17 years Spaghetti's family will see him again.

So yes that means I have never met him.

Oh and this is all happening tonight. Here. Wheel chair and all. See I have empathy for people with diabilities, and things they can not help. But I am a bit less understanding when you did it yourself. And find a bit of sick humor in the fact that your still alive, no wonder your Bitter.

So wish me good luck, hoping to have a semi normal holiday today.

OMG! So I tots forgot about the rest.

THIS is my first Christmas Eve hosting. Right? SO it is because we lost Spaghetti's Gramma in February, Spghetti's Birthday to be exact. So Grampa doesn't want to host, it makes him super sad.

OH and Ed's uncle T that just passed away? Same little family.

SO I will have a house full of semi depressed people who are all trying to find the Merry in this Holiday, and add in one weird reunion.

WISH ME LUCK!!

(Can't wait for tomorrow! Spaghetti will be home and we can enjoy Christmas with the 4 of us. AND then I am totally stoked it's off to my parents house! No drama, just us with Queen, Carrots and Frances! Hooray!!)

Merry Christmas Eve everyone. From my little corner of the Blogosphere to yours.

Bad Dream

I had a bad dream. It was about Bagel. It was SO real that I sprug from bed and ran to her room. I mean sprang SO fast I just remember waking up and opening her door.

She was safe. Sleeping. I went in and curled up next to her. I cried. I hugged her. I didn't care if she woke up. I just wanted to hear her breathe, and know she was ok.

The dream was so horrific, and so detailed. Yet only about 30 seconds long. I don't want to tell you what it was. It was that bad. I don't want to remember. I have been rubbing at my head all day hoping to rub the memory of it away.

So tonight before bed I was extra nice to her. I hugged her extra long. She lets me. I tell her I love her to the moon and back, I ask her if we can be best friends forever. I cried again. She asked me if I missed her? I told her as soon as I walk out her door I missed her.

More then my life.

Mommy

Rest in peace Britney Murphy

Huge news the actress Britney Murphy has died today.

They are saying cardiac arrest, and her mom found her this morning.

She was a great actress, and I loved SO many of her movies. I adored her in Clueless, I own and love Girl Interupted, some of her other movies are 8 Mile, Uptown Girls, Sin City, and Little Black Book.

Rest in peace Britney.

Nov 10th 1977 - Dec 20th 2009

Twitchy and hostile with out you.

See this sign above? Thats me.

I NEED coffee.

I get my gramma now. And my parents.

I get all those people who NEED coffee.

I once was naturally hyper, perky was the norm.

My sister walked around the house with a "Punish the perky" pajama shirt.

I was nice and funny and giddy ALL. THE. TIME.

Then I had kids.

Now I need coffee to survive.

I mean I can go for a few hours of no coffee.

But once lunch times hits, if I haven't had any been.

FUCK. OFF.

I tried yesterday.

Only because my coffee pot died.

GD thing. JUST got it last year.

It was one of those free gifts my MIL got for working like a slave for 20 years.

AND it fucking died in 10 months.

That was Saturday.

I have spent WEEKS nursing it.

It got to the point where Friday it took...4.5 hours. NOT KIDDING.

To make my coffee. It automaticly shuts off after 2 hours.

So yes I turned it back on TWICE for it to finish.

Finish ONE cup of coffee.

I'm sure I frightened the kids.

I was all twitchy and poured the 3 drops into my mug each time a few fell.

It started at 8:30 am...

It was well into nap time before I could chug my coffee

So yesterday I didn't have coffee.

I tried to have coke.

Still not as strong as my Starbucks Expresso Blend.

...

sorry kids.

...

No I mean that. I was a SPAZ.

I screamed.

I yelled.

I cried.

I tried to hide.

Spaghetti walked in at 2:30. I said I didn't have coffee.

He took over. I went and hid.

Then I went to the store.

I bought coffee.

Canned goodness.

Starbucks doubleshot energy +coffee mocha.

All hail the can!!

(if you don't like Mocha they have Vanilla, Coffee and Cinnamon Dolce too)

I'm drinking mine now.

I am at peace with my screaming children and the barking dogs.

I have my coffee...

which means I am willing to participate in todays events.

Life Motto

Over at Mama Kat's she's got her promts up for the Writer's Workshop. Here's mine!



What is one of your life mottoes?

"Don't take life to seriously. No one get's out alive anyway."

My motto is that. To NOT be serious, to NOT be all grown up and stuffy, to NOT act my age.

I am a 31 year old who laughs, ALOT. I cry when I need to, I don't hold back hugs, I have lost WAY to many loved ones to tell them I love them another day.

I play with my children, and I clean house later. I lay in the grass and watch the clouds go by. I plant gardens and enjoy the little things in life.

I take naps. I dane to music when ever I can, I read SARK (and so should you) I love to grab a Shel Silverstein book (try Runny Babbit) for a smile.

I have an art room. It's purple and lime green. I often sit in there with my two cats (they have been banished there) and a cup of coffee. Just enjoying.

I talk to my dogs. Alot. Even before I was a SAHM looking for a mere conversation. I love to take the time with my animals.

I need to be inspired to do things. I read ALOT of fun magazines.

I take LOTS of pictures. Of everything. Everyday. Flowers, snails, you name it. Then I scrapbook it.

I scrapbook with LOTS of journaling. I want my story told. At least for my kids to have.

I think age is just a number. Who cares if I'm 31 or 21? The only thing I miss is my 21 year old body. That would be nice again. But we will save that for the big 2010 list of to do's.

I think kids are amazing. I like to watch them with out them knowing. I try to remember being a kid. my imagination running at full speed. Drawing, playing, inventing. I remember eating, playing, and sleeping as a kid. I want my kids to do the same.

I guess my motto is to life my life to the fullest, not to take shit off anyone, to just enjoy the moment I'm in, make the best of the situation, no matter how shitty it is. I TRY to be a optomistic person, it's hard with little or no money, but such is life.

So enjoy. Laugh. Create. Cry. Dance. And just be.

Total Random Thursday

I still have NO idea where the damn spell check is on the new updated "new post" is. So suck it if my grammer freaks you out.

I just freaked out because I need to start getting shit together for Bagel so I can register her for Preschool in February. (for September)

I was sad to have to put back so much of what Spaghetti wanted to buy for Christmas for the kids and me. We just really don't have the money. And we don't want to put Christmas on credit cards.

I have been enjoying carbs, caffine, and all things bad for me. January 1st is going to suck. But come 35 lbs less will be nice. I hate being fat.

I find it amusing that my children seem to favor me over most everyone else (I know I'm mommy) but I yell so much, you would think that daddy would be the favored one, he seems more fun then me.

I can't wait for the new season of Real World DC coming on December 30th! But before that is next Wednesday and I get to see "The Shit they didn't show you" for the RW/RR challange that just ended.

Speaking of t.v. show, I am STOKED that Feb 2nd 2010 will be the start of LOST! Hoo-fucking-ray! I had better get ALOT of answers!

I think when I leave comments on blogs, I leave looong comments. But I would rather leave a good comment then none at all.

I wonder if you realize that I can monitor everyone who visits me here, and I know you LURK me. Leave me a comment. It's fucking creepy that you don't. I know some of you do, sometimes. But shit some of you NEVER comment. EVER. Weirdos.

I may have no readers now. Oh well. Moving on.

I still hate laundry. Still don't have a handle on it. Still wish we lived in a nudist colony.

My MIL took me Xmas shopping for clothes and shoes. I am happy. I was in denial. I didn't want new clothes till I lost my 35 lbs. Well unless I wear maternity clothes, I am too big and muffin toppy to wear my regular clothes, SO I fnally woke up and realized I needed clothes for now.

Sometimes I stand back and look at my life. And get freaked out that I am a MOM. Hell I was freaked that I was a wife for a while. I love it. But it's crazy, you spend 20 years wondering who will love you, and all of a sudden your married 8 1/2 years with 2 kids, a house and dogs cats... kinda crazy.

Remind me NOT to hack off all my hair again. Damnit. I love it short short, or long. This mid hair shit sucks.

I'm tired. I can tell because when I type the word "and" keeps coming out as "nad"

My knee hurts too. Maybe if I lost all this weight my knee and back wouldn't be crying each night. I have no mercy for my fat ass.

Alright, the end of the babble. Night.

MY driving rules.

If you choose to drive where I am driving I ask kindly that you go by MY rules. Enjoy.


Highway. I am a left laner. Sometimes a mid laner. NEVER a right laner (unless my exit is 3/4 of a mile away) Here are my Highway rules

• If I am in the mid lane, it is usally because I am moving over for some psycho that is going WAY faster then me (speed limit 65, I go about 72-74 some freakshows go about 90)
• DO NOT ride my ass. I WILL NOT move over. WHEN you back off, I will move over. RIDING my ass will only infuriate me, because I almost always have my kids on board (and NO I don't have one of those stupid yellow signs, sorry if you do) and now you've struck the "PROTECT CHILDREN FREAK MODE IN ME" so back the fuck off. Thankyou.
• Role reversal. IF you are in the left lane and you see (you should notice cars behind you, which I notice that SO many people do not) me coming up behind you, at a MUCH fast pace then you. Realize you do NOT belong in my lane. Move over. I won't ride your ass, but I will be right here waiting. Don't make me do the right lane pass, I really hate doing that.
• Right lane passing. Alright so I'm a hypocrite on this one. I only do it if you suck ass, and are going 60 in my left lane, and the whole rest of the free world has passed you on the right I too must move on with my life.
• Hypocrite me. Right lane passing of me is fine, if I'm doing my 73 mph and your going 102 mph and need to swerve around me because your going SO fast that I am practially at a stand still. Sure. BUT if you see that I am putting on my blinker. PLEASE note, I will move my car OVER asap. Ride my ass, and it takes me a good 20 seconds of blinker to even consider moving over.
• Merging. Oh for fucks sake this one BLOWS my mind. (this next point is spoken as if I was talking to a 5 year old) IF you see an exit coming up. NOTE that cars are coming ONTO the highway. Possibly me. NOTE that I only get a small window of oppertunity to get onto the highway. MOVE THE FUCK OVER RETARDS. Jesus flying fucking Christ. The people who don't move over for merging on highway drivers makes me want the invisable hand gernades to just blow them off the map.
• Speeders again. Yes again, I know I drive fast, but again some go faster. AND if I am in the left lane, and I am not going to your choice speed. Understand the BIG semi to my right is there and NO I will not floor it to let you pass me. You will enjoy MY speed of choice until we safely pass the big truck then I shall move over. Unless your a douche bag and choose to psychoticly right lane pass me the second I pass the semi. Well then go fuck yourself.
• Children in my car. There are rules. NO screaming. Especially that high pictched who can scream the loudest shit either. Also no throwing shit at me, or whining. Children are lovely, but should be happy, silent, or asleep at all times in the car.
• Passengers. Unless you have some greater knowledge then I do please STFU. I don't care if you think there is a better way. My little hands are on the wheel, and I am the boss. Please do your job, and entertain my small monkey children.
• My middle finger is used when needed. My mother hates it, my husband hates it. And I don't care. It's my right to show people I care, and when your #1 in my driving book. I show it. Proud. I'm not a timid finger giver. There is FULL effort for you to notice. Isn't that what the sunroof is for?
• Non-highway rules. God I HATE driving in towns, suburbia, whatever. Drive at LEAST the damn speed. If it's 45 on a busy 4 lane road, for fucks sake, go home if you can't do at least 45. I am VERY good at going 25 in subdivisions. Not kidding. I know kids don't pay attention, like my neigbor who lets her kid wander the street. We live on a curve. It's creepy.
• I HATE people who get mad at me for talking on the phone and driving. Most times it's the only time I can talk. No kids in the car? Probably a phone to my ear. Blow me, I CAN drive and talk. But there are some nut sacks who shouldn't. You need good driving skills to do this. Texting should be illegal while driving. THAT is insane.
• Speaking of good driving skills. Understand that while driving the fact that you have skill isn't that you know all the rules of the road. It's that you have confidence. Now don't get that mixed up with cockiness. That is different. I am confident that I watch myself, the people next to me, the guy in front, and behind me. PLUS I pay attention to the 3 cars ahead and behind them. WHY? Because it's good for you. Because you need to learn to guess what EVERYONE else is going to do. When we are all wizzing along at 75 mph I need to make sure you butt fucks are on game. If you even swerve a bit, I watch you more, If your flying like a bat out of hell (I SO love to say that) I try to get out of your insane way, if you suck and are slower then me crawling, then I watch you and attempt to get away from you. It's all a method of skills, and being confident that I can navigate, all while making the right moves to get on with my journey with the least ammount of finger giving.
• AND last but not least lets talk about bikes. Sigh. I don't like you. I have lost 2 close friends of the family due to poor driving skills. If you ride a bike, I don't care if it's a crotch rocket or a big ass harley. If you are NOT wearing a helmet you can go fuck yourself. You are a speedbump that I don't want to deal with. Your stupid for driving 70 mph on a bike and no helmet?!? Whatever, I hope to god I don't hit you, because I will have your mess all over my car, I am assuming you will cause damage to my car, AND I will have to deal with your mess. AND bet my ass if you one of those chodes that cuts me off, with no helmet, I will feel NO remorse for running you over. Your stupid. And a waste of air as it is.
• If you are a bike rider. If you wear a helmet. If you attmpt to go a decent speed. Good for you. I wish you a safe trip. Please don't drive by me. I have confidence. But your just not ment for my SUV and the big semi's around here.

Alright, it's late, I have been wanting to post on my driving rules forever now. Add your own in the comment section. Or just keep lurking like you have been. And yes it's still creepy that you lurk.

Home from Vaca. Here's your post. I'm going to drown myself in a bath tub. AKA Leavemealonetime.

Kalahari not Africa

Going on vacation to the Kalahari! Sad it's not Africa, seems to be a cool place to go. BUT in place of Africa, I will be going to Wisconsin. Dells that is.

The Kalahari is one of the dells amazing indoor waterparks. It's about the size of 3 football fields, 7 resturants, a spa (that sadly I don't think fits into the budget),

a pottery place

, a 10 theatre movie place, Damons resturant too. They just added a few years ago a indoor amusement park.

No shit all in the middle of Cheeseland. (some people go to the Wilderness Resort, the comepition, haven't been. The Great Wolf Lodge is fun but about 1/2 the size, I've been spoiled by the Kalahari and it's greatness so that is where I stay) You park when you get there, and you never really need to leave the parking lot. If you want to gamble at the casino... shuttle bus!

I'm sure with the little ones it will be round the clock water park, we did get a special room with a dinner gift certificate (worth $50) and 4 movie tickets!

 I can't wait to see Spaghetti try the florider again. It's an indoor wave. Not like the wave pool, but a wave you can surf on, or for me at least boogie board on my tummy!!

Oh and you can NOT forget about the Sweet Hut. Sure it looks like a normal candy counter, but let me tell you this place is know for making adults and children dry hump the glass window over looking the Pixie's that are the size of my hand...a moment of silence for the Pixies, and for Spaghetti's Taffy Apples...


Moving on.

I can't wait to take the kids. This will be Weakys first waterpark where he can walk! It will be myself, Spaghetti, Bagel, Weaky and for her big 30th birthday we are taking Aerial with us. Bagel is always a blast, and well Spaghetti and I have gone toghether, and with Aerial to the Dells before.

Should be a fantabulous time, all hopes that Weaky is on a good week with the damn teething (nothing says road trip like a teething 19 month old!) But we have the fantastic IL's van with DVD player and if luck is with us we can comatose the kids with DVD after DVD after DVD. (it's about a 3.5 hour ride)

The Dells themselves are fun, it's good Midwest fun, durring the summer there is TONS to do, but thanks to the indoor parks, now we can go there in the shitty weather too!

Spaghetti set the alarm this morning, in hopes I would get up and clean house, and have everything packed, nothing says procrastination like blogging instead of packing! We aren't leaving till he get's off work at 2, so I got a little bit of time, been up cleaning and packing for 2 hours so I deserve a blogger break. (I say so)

So time to get the monkey children from their rooms, feed them the lovely cinnimon rolls that I just took from the oven, some where in this day I do need to fit in a shower to landscape. This whole SAHM gig makes for one lazy shaver.

Have a fantastic week, I will be home Tuesday night! Miss me!!

Ewww... Cheetos

This is my fantastic sister. We call her Francis. This is a fun picture. She is eating one of her favorite foods, cheetos.

I have to say if your around Francis you have a great deal of empathy for her, (if your new around here go here and check out her story,) since she has such an impossible time eating because of her disorder.

NOW if your her sister. And that would be me. My job is to give her a hard time no matter what.
Don't get your "I Love Disabled People" bumper stickers in a bunch. I must say it was because of what we did prior to the eating of the cheetos that made this picture funny for us. Well more so funny for me then her.(and with out explaination, my parents and husband were completly baffled as to why I was pointing and giggling at my sister for eating cheetos, they just chalk it up to my random behavior. Or my giddy love for the Zoo)

So if you must know, and I won't keep you waiting any longer...

Francis and I were petting the sting rays. Over at the Sting Ray Bay. So we pet them, we even had a cool moment where we both held a big piece of shrimp and had a HUGE mother fucker of a sting ray come over and suck our hands till we sqeeled and let go of the shrimp, let me tell you it was awesome, yet terrifying to be sucked by a sting ray.

So then after our forever bonding sting ray shrimp sucking moment, we go to leave, well Francis is too cool for school and didn't want to wash her hands. I tell her she's gross, scrub up to my elbows (I had a 15 month old Bagel at the time and was a new mom with OCD issues) and we head over to mee the rest of the family. So we are walking along, and Francis goes into her back pack to get out some nummy cheetos.

She starts to eat them (you do see where I'm going with this right?) After Francis makes a dent in the bag, and is all orange fingered, I point to her and say. Did it ever dawn on you that you are eating sting ray cheetos?!? And I laugh. Then she laughs, spits out some cheetos, then we laugh some more. It's gross, but it's one of those moments, that makes me smile each time I see cheetos. Sting rays. Or Francis at the Zoo.

I'm back!

(this picture has NOTHING to do with this post. It's from ICanHasCheezBurger dot com

 makes me fucking happy. Especially when dumb shit happens... go there...laugh... your welcome)

I am OKeedookee.

Thanks to the help of Shannon over at EightCrazyDesigns (want a link to her? Over on the left hand side, down twards the bottom. Can't miss it big and green. I'm too lazy and it's too late for me to link it, and I still need to iron Spaghetti's work clothes for tomorrow, and its in the double digets of time, OMG, it's 10:36, I'm SO up past my bed time) who make me this cute layout to begin with. I nicely begged asked her to look at my blog, and tell me WTH I did.

Long story short, it had NOTHING to do with AdSense, and it was all PhotoBuckets fault. SO she assisted me, and got me back to good. WHY did my screen look so funny? Does any one care? Sure, I know this is and edge of your seat story, BUT hey it's my page and I was freaking the fuck out.

Story is, if you use PhotoBucket (in which they house my layout) if you don't log in every 90 days, they will make your pictures all fucked up looking, like they did to my blog. Wankers.

Shannon no longer uses PhotoBucket, but for people like myself, and previous customers (Maternal Mirth, you to may be plauged) we have to log in. Booooo. Hissssssss.

Back to normal. Now to find out why this blogger can't leave comments. Damn it, I love comments, and someone is FINALLY leaving me comments, or attempting to and she said my comments are off?! WTF...

Alrighty then. (Yes said in the Jim Carry voice) off to bed with me. Nighty night!

Let's file this one under Fuck You Friday, but with a happy ending...

WTF just happened?!?

Alright so I try to make the big bucks and add AdSense to my blog, and wala. I get NO background. I get NO title. And I get some shit hole message on the side. That blog they are reffering to is not one I use. Didn't try to set that one up. Gah.

Um, so yeah. I guess I got a shotty make over, and I am stuck till someone can fix me. I even tried to go to "The Cutest Blog on the Block" to temp fix it. And that got me NO WHERE fast.

I posted on blogger help. Hoping some random stranger with to much time on there hands will hop on over to assist lil' ol me and my SOL problem here.

Anyone else? This blows... so until then, it's me not you.

Random coffee induced post...

Random is a good word for this hot mess I am about to type. Got lots to say. None of it really post worthy material. Enjoy...

• I made bad ass good coffee this morning. If you care to know I drink Starbucks Espresso Blend coffee every morning.
• Why is my "save now" over on the far right?
• Why is it that I have to poop every time I get a chance to blog? Could be the coffee...
• I am still in love with the SD card reader. It has SAVED my blogging life.
• I am SO in love with staying home today. It's 3 degrees out. But feels like -17.
• So I switched over to the newer blogger. Umm... where the new post page is. But I don't have spell check? That is a problem. Until then I am not responsible for any spelling errors.
• The Save Now is getting weird. It is saving every 10 seconds.
• I still have to poop... farted... now I can focus better...
• Is it me or does everyone else sing the Mickey Mouse "Hot Dog Dance" in there head all day?
• I can't wait till Sunday. We are leaving for Wisconsin Dells! Staying at the Kalahari indoor waterpark. It's fucking bad ass. It's been 5 years and 3 weeks since we last stayed. I can't wait to see what the kids think.
• I made my FIL his 50 damn handmade Christmas Cards, they are awesome. Now need to finish mine! I have 18 of my 35 done. Just waiting for their Stickles glitter to dry! I will post a picture soon.
• BRB...
• Alright, finally gave in to pooping. To much farting for me, sharfing in your own home is not cool.
• Then Bagel needed me to get her a different doll house from the 3 degree attic. (she has many doll and toy houses, BUT in my defense only one is from Christmas, the rest are garage sale toys, and most are from when I was a kid)
• Weaky is happy. He gets the WHOLE front toy room, and the Mickey Movie ALL to himself. Bagel is at the age where she likes to go in her room, away from her brother. And that means Blog time for mommy!
• I am hosting Christmas Eve, and I have LOTS to pick up around the house. (like boxes of crap to go through, that have been cleaned from a room, and I just put them in the loft. There are some in the kitchen, and basement t.v. room. Just pure I don't wanna, and a bit of Where do I put it?)
• Bagel is less irratating to me. The 3.5 version is WAY more fun then the whiney 2.5 to 3 yr old version was. Plus I do think I am out of my postpartum funk, and seem to scream less. Glad that they won't remember that.
• Bagel just said to me I am going poopy on the potty. And then she asked Do you wanted to smell it? I said No thanks. She responded with If you say so.
• I can't wait for Christmas with the kids. I should do a post on what they are getting. I know you can't wait right?
• I think I'm done rambling for now. Gots me some laundry to do, and kids to attend to. Miss me!

Manic Mondays!

I try my bestest to do Manic Mondays, if you can, head on over and do them yourself. Can't ramble on long, I have two napping kids so the Art Room is screaming my name!



If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be?
So mine would be a cartoon character. I have LOVED cartoon characters all my life, like most adults that are refusing to grow up, BUT I for the longest time wanted to be one. I SWORE after watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that there was just a little ol' tunnel that leads to the land of Cartoons.

So I guess I would pick... you guessed it... (or not) Tinkerbell!!
She's my fav. I loves her. She is Feisty, sassy, and all around a pretty tough chick. She has the BEST outfit, I mean with a little figure like that, who wouldn't want to fly around in a mini green dress?! I would also be the most badass mom ever, because, Bagel LOVES herself some Tink too.

Plus maybe she could tell me where that lil ol' tunnel to the land of Cartoons is...






Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?

Wait for it... Tinkerbell! Short, blonde hair, feisty attitude. Yep, I just need to drop about 30 lbs, and get me some wings and it's a done deal!

The Cabbage Patch Kid

This folks is MY Cabbage Patch Kid.

If  I need to explain this to you are either to young to get it, or you have lived in a box, under a bed your whole life.


This damn Purple Hungry Hippo Pillow Pet is the reason for me to stress for 24 hours, when Bagel had insisted for MONTHS that Santa bring her this. Not the Lady Bug, or the Penguin, or the Pig, but she NEEDED the Purple Hippo. Needed it.


Now as a mommy to a 3.5 year old, I am excited that my kid finally is big enough to be sucked into the world of comercials and infomercials (the comercial for the Pillowpets is on every hour on the hour if you watch the Sprout channel) makes my job that  much easier. Or so I thought. Kids pick out toys, I go get toys, wrap them up, give all credit to fat ass guy called Santa.


For months we have gone to the website they promote on tv, and she picks out the Purple Hippo each time, also telling me Weaky wants the Friendly Green Frog. Sure. Fine. Put it off, put it off, go on the site, put it off. Fast forward to Tuesday of this week.


I hop onto the ol' computer and type in pillow pets dot com, site is up, all 20 or so different pillow pets are there, you click on the one you want and... what?!? Sold out?!?!?!? No... well how about the lady bug... sold out too... umm... Green Frog... sold out... S.H.I.T.


I bow my head, and realize I officially fucked up as Santa and it's my first official request fromt he children. Hmmm... so I do what any other crazy mother would do... I go get more coffee... chug it, then I google Pillow Pets.

Ebay, Amazon, Craigs List... they are all over! Hooray!! But wait... what's the starting bid?! $99? And that was for the horse? The Bumble Bee is $199??! Holy shitting price rape! But wait someone has a bundle of three for $350!! FuuuUUUUuuuucckkkk me!!!

We are talking about a $20 stuffed animal that you unvelcro his tummy and then the animal turns to a... wait for it... pillow pet!!

So in my desperate attempt to find a Purple Hippo, and not break the bank, I go to Facebook, and post my plee there. I had a friends tell me good luck, one friend in Arizona said she would see if any little shops had them there, and one friend said to go to pillow pets dot com, she was headed over to the site to buy a bunch for her nephews. I thought, silly nieve girl. Your screwed too.

I responded telling her the bad news, that we were both screwed for Christmas. She said, no not that site, she said to try their sister site (who the fuck has a sister site?!) at MY pillow pets dot com. Note the MY in the site name. Let me tell you they DO NOT advertise that site on the comercial. Asshats.


I go, already telling myself that I am still SOL. And that I will be getting my kid some half assed stuffed animal, or attempting to make one and it looks like this...

(this really is a ugly sock monster I made Weaky for his 1st birthday. He LOVES it)

But to my merry surprise! There are Purples Hippos in stock! Oh hail the holy credit card, I wisked it out, and ordered my Purple Hippo and a Green Friendly Frog!!

Well folks let me tell you, my lesson has been learned, I am a procrastinator by all means a professional one at that. But not for the request of a Christmas present for a kid ever again! (don't take my word on that, I do think as a professional procrastinator it is my duty to say things like that, come back next year to see what the new panic attack will be and what horrible toy causes it)

Fucking Funny.

Go here to understand why I have fallen in Bloggy love with reading Martini's or Diaper Genies. She is just plain fucking funny.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Alright I know, A.MAZ.ING that I have TODAY'S pictures up, today. Right? I am a freak with this new little SD card reader thingy. I even uploaded them to my mom's laptop before I left her house tonight. And BLAM she's got a whole Holiday worth of pictures!!

SO after I give thanks to my beloved little SD card reader, and go dry hump it in the corner of the room. I can share with you all the excitement of my Turkey day!

See Carrots carving (with what looks to be his eyes closed, he's that good!) and the Queen being all snuggly nice to him! (general rule, be nice to the person with the big carving knive, right?)

AND check out this bad ass book that the Queen got for the kids. Yep, it's the Hallmark Night Before Christmas one, that my mom spent WELL over an hour recording her voice into the book to read the pages to the kids. TOO much fun!!

While I helped mom I did sneak down to the basement to catch Papa and Bagel watching t.v. how cute!

My sister Francis and I all cheesy for the camera!

Here is my MIL Gramma Mc playing with the kids

And Bagel and Weaky trying to sqeeze onto the same little stool (it resulted in tears and screaming)

They did however fit onto the little bench, BUT somehow Weaky lost his pants. It's a common occurance around our house.

After the BIG fat dinner (picture home made Ravioli's a big ass turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean cassarole, cranberries, corn, biscuits, and apple sauce), the Queen slaved over, we all sat down to eat Pumpkin Pie, Pecan Pie, and Tutle ice cream cake!

Here is the Queen, Bagel and Gramma Mc enjoying some!

Papa is snuggly with the Queen now. Awww...

And Spaghetti and I enjoyed some time with our families, while he was between jobs. Thanks for working so hard for us. I love you.

Overall it was a great day, I talked to some of my cousins, and just enjoyed a nice day of family and great food. The craft project (my donation to the day) was we made these little booklets and each person had their names on one. You take turns passing the books around, and everyone signs the books with nice notes, thoughts or stories about each other. Then you take your book home to read later. I love these books! They turned out great!

For all my family and friends all over the country, Real life ones, or my Bloggy world ones, Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

To all of our angels watching over us. We miss you SO much. Our first Turkey Day with out Ed's Gramma M. whom we lost on Spaghetti's Birthday this year. Uncle T. it was to fast, and to soon.

Gramma Wanda, I miss you everyday, Happy Birthday today. Love you.

Grampa John, you've been gone 11 years. I miss you so.

Gramma A. It will be 3 years Saturday the 28th you've been gone.

Happy Annivesary to you Grampa John, and Gramma A. today.

To all my other family and friends gone from this world. I love you. Happy Turkey Day!