365 days ago...

365 days ago this was me.
And I was in love with the idea of my perfect little baby boy coming into this world. (I was happily drugged for this picture)


After learning the hard way with Bagel, I realized I need not feel some of the pain to feel complete as giving birth to my child. As quickly as I was in pain this time, I was givin my epi. We started at 6:00 am, with tons of paper work, and some pitocin to start the day. We were on our way.


Around 3:30 pm I was dilated to 10 so they broke my water, and we started pushing at 3:35pm, and with some good iTunes going, (think Salt n Pepa's "Push it") it was only 36 minutes and at 4:06 pm, on April 25th you were born.


And here you are. Just 1 day old. Your light brown mohawk, and those little eyes... All 7 pounds, 10 oz, and 20 1/2 inches of you...



That little mohawk quickly became a lot of fuzzy hair! You were so tiny, and just the sweetest and most patient little boy I have met.
And even with the need to wear this DOC band 23/7 you are still a trooper. They said it would be days before you would adjust and it just took you hours. And you are SO good about it.

As you grow and learn new things, as you explore your world, and become the little person I hope for, I can't help but wonder...

What kind of a boy will you be? The sweet mamma's boy I want? A shy guy? A sporty guy like your dad? Maybe artsy like your mom?

What ever you are supposed to be. Whatever you will do in your life. Whatever your goals, and dreams will be. Just remember one thing...

I will ALWAYS be your number one fan.

I will ALWAYS be on your side.

I will ALWAYS be your best friend.

I will ALWAYS be your best girl.

I will love you more then there is sand in the sea or stars in the sky.

Alexander Edward. I love you more then you will ever understand.

There may be a day, when you have children of your own, and you love them so much that they just take over your whole heart, and your whole sense of being.

And you may think back to your parents, and think that you understand the love that they had for you. An unconditional love that nothing can break. No one can come between.

I try to understand how much Gigi and Papa love me. But I realize now that no matter how much I try, they will love me more then I could understand. I just assume its the same love I have for you.

I can't explain my love for you. I can't explain my want for you to love me more then any little man has loved his mother.

Happy first birthday. I wish you happiness, and love.

More then my own life,

Mommy

xo...