CHEESE!!

It's one of those moments as a mother, when you are doing routine, dropped off Bagel at Preschool, putting Weaky back into his car seat and all of a sudden it's a photo shoot. One of those moments where your heart is reminded why it beats. Why you breathe, why you do what you do. 

Because it's to see each and every day of this. Each 'I yuv you, mommy' each messy chocolate kiss, each headlock hug, I couldn't imagine my life any better. You make my heart sing little man. And it sings louder every day. 

xoxo...


Feisty Mommy.

What's new with two. xoxo...

We had a date today...

A you and me only kinda date...

Where you laughed...

And laughed some more...

You ate your favorite McD's pancakes, with apple juice...

You love to watch the people, and to see the way they decorate each season or holiday...

You have a curious way about you Weaky Man, and I love it...

The date to McD's was a treat, and T@rget afterwards was to shop for your present. I had some little things for you...

Like these fun realistic dinosaurs, they have smooshy beads inside them. You LOVE your Tonka trucks, and the blue want is a bubble wand is from Wally World.

Oh and the Chuck fire station, you love the little Tonka trucks so why not...

This was our "big" present to you. All 120 pieces of wooded train and pieces for you, and YES I know it says 3+ on the box, AND that inside it says it is specificly made for 3+ because of small parts, BUT I am in charge here, so I say it's ok...

Oh so while I was on a roll of breaking toy age limit rules, I got you the train mechanic house too...

Bagel picked this out for you, your Gramma Mc bought it for you, from her, so whatever, I think you'll get a kick out of it, it vibrates something wicked...

Your Gramma Mc also spent a bit o' $$ and got you and your sister the fancy pants Step 2 Welcome Home house for the back yard...

Since Bagel's birthday is June 2nd it's a big ol' combo gift. One would assume this was their ONLY present birthdays and Christmas combined, but I do not doubt there will be more... there always is...

Enough about presents and random birthday fun. Let's talk about you little guy...

You just started sitting on my lap, and we either go on Youtube to watch video's (you really like Baby Einstein ones) or Sproutonline.com to see your favorite friends!

We go to Starbucks, Mommies favorite place to chill with you one on one, you love to go pick out your organic mush in a capri sun like pouch (think applesauce consistancy, but he LOVES them)

We hike in the woods, and you wear my Michigan hat, and try to nap on my shoulders! (Too cute little man!)

You look like your 4 here instead of 2! So big!!

You and your sister are getting along better... sort of... well you tollerate each other, only if there are NO toys involved... or attention from parents... or grandparents... well lets just enjoy this moment here in the woods as you two share a moment...

When I was house sitting for the Queen and Carrots (Frances too) while in Florida, I was silly to let you loose and go clean the litter boxes, while I was getting assulted by a freak of a siamese cat, you were removing the rocks, dirt and leaves from Queen's plant. ALL over her dining room!! So you were covered in dirt, thank gawd I hadn't watered that plant prior to you!

So I changed your butt, or at least stripped you, and you ran off, so I let you. And you kept running around butt naked with this big wooden goose... what a silly handful of a boy I have!!

Tomorrow is just the 4 of us celebrating, then Wednesday is with Queen, Carrots, Frances, Aerial, and Gramma and Grampa Mc, maybe even Great Grampa Ed. We will be having a "Cars" Disney themed party, since you love the movie and Mater is your favorite. It's hard to pick, you love Buzz Lightyear, and Cookie Monster too just as much!

I meant for this post to be some tear jerking, emotional over load of a post. A birthday post that could move anyone to tears. I seem to just have a mismosh of this last months fun pictures, but I must say this...

Happy 2nd Birthday to my boy. Born April 25th, 2008. At 4:06 pm, 7 lbs, 10 oz, and 21 1/2 inches long. You came into this world a small mohawked little guy

You are a sweet boy, who over the last two years have grown into such an amazing little toddler. Your gibberish speaking with some english mixed in has everyone anticipating what you will say.

I can't wait to hear your opinion, your views, and your idea's. I can't wait to spend my life getting to know you.

I once said that if I have a little girl my life would be complete. Having your sister first made me think it didn't matter if you were a boy or a girl I was just fine with either.

Had I known what a little boy does to his mother's heart, I would have wanted you even more. You make me want you to be my Momma's boy, to come to me with any and every problem. I don't so much favor you over your sister, but you two are definiatly different to me. Love is equal, but different.

I hope your birthday is great, I hope the world for you. Lots of hugs and kisses.

More then my life,

Mommy

xo...

More then my life

Tonight before I went to bed I heard that you were still awake in your crib.

I turned off all the lights and put on a dim desk lamp in the loft outside your room.

I snuck inside your room to see you laying in bed, looking up at me.

I quickly lowered the rail, tossed your "fuzzy" over my shoulder, and you instantly stood up to be held.

I picked you up, and snuck you to the bathroom, where I gave you a cup of water.

Then I walked back to the loft, to the rocker (I just moved it out there last week)

I sat with you laying over my shoulder, you suck your thumb, which is too cute, and pet my arm

We rocked for 10 minutes

All while I whisper to you how much you mean to me, and how I will always be there for you.

I try desperatly to remember the little baby, SO tiny and sweet.

The little baby named Weaky. You barely squeaked. And now you ramble your jibberish as fast as me.

As I hold you I notice that your head is on my shoulder and your feet are down past my hips.

When you used to be just a handful of a little guy, well now your just a handful!!

I'm amazed at how different you are from your sister.

Your energy, your want to discover, your curiosity, your love of mess.

You quickly went from bottle, to sippy, now you barely need a straw, you just use a cup.

You are using silverware (plasticware) when you choose too (fingers are always first choice)

You try to get yourself dressed, and you love to play and interact with your toys.

You can understand me, and you do things I ask of you. Your the best little garbage thrower awayer I know!

Your patience is amazing, your just like your father. You wait your turn and when your crazy sister screams.

You back away like your father does when I scream at him.

Sure you are your father on the inside but physically your the boy version of me.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, big smile, and those teeth! Sorry you've got your Papa Carrots, and mom's teeth!

I held you tight in that rocker. I wished to capture you at that moment. You and me.

That years down the road when your "too big" to rock with me, that I remember tonight.

I love you more then you will ever understand Weaky.

These 23 months have been amazing. Can't wait for more.

More then my life.

It's official. You make me smile.

At 1 year 8 months 1 week and 2 days old, you and me little boy. We've got our song.

I did this with Bagel, I hunted and seached, tried not to force it. I just listened a bit closer to lyrics. I tried to get one that fit us. I know it's early. But I also found a song that will always fit us.

And while driving in the car, I heard this song. I've heard it before, I just never listen, listened to it. It's you and me. And I hope someday at your wedding this is the song we dance too.

I love you, Weaky Man Mc.

Mommy

"Smile"

by Uncle Kracker

You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your life

Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me

Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)

And the moments when my good times start to fade

[Chorus:]

You make me smile like a sun, Fall outta bed

Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head

Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

Even when you don't

Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack

And just like that

You steal away the rain

And just like that

[Chorus]

Don't know how I lived without you

'Cuz everytime that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

[Chorus]

(Oh, you make me smile)

Oh you make me smille

(Oh, you make me smile)

Oh you make me smille

1 year to forever

A year ago... 3 weeks ago...

How you grew my little man. Your getting bigger, and stronger, your learning to sign eat, and you clap when you do good. You point and grunt when you want things. Your learning to become more and more independent.

You still cling to me when ever you can, and I love being "that person," your person, your mommy. I love every minute of it. I can't wait for the rest of our life together, to watch you grow, explore and learn this world of ours.

I want to be right along side you for your journey. I hope you tell me every detail of your life. I hope you never get sick of me asking for more details. I want you to be a big strong guy, but one who still calls his mom every day to just say hi.

I love you. More then my life.

Mommy

Cystic Fibrosis results are in

It was a long day. Hell it's been a long week. Garage's Sales, picking up the kids, going to Chicago, Weaky's DOC band, Spaghetti at Wrigley, then Bagel going to the hospital, Family visiting, and of coarse Weaky's CF testing.


Testing was a pain. Weird too.


The hospital was great. It was just for Children, and everyone was really nice. Weaky's test involved cleaning his arm, setting gauze onto it. (one on the forearm and one on his lower arm)Then these little copper rectangles set over each piece of gauze.


She then hooked the copper pieces up to a box with wires on it. Like a car battery. She said it would feel like when your leg is asleep, the uncomfortable tingly feeling. That was for 5 minutes, and yes I had to hold him in my lap for it. Afterwards she removed the gauze and copper plates, and only on the lower arm, she had a solution to make him sweat, but it was cold, and she said it would sooth the tingly-ness then she placed new gauze. And wrapped his arm with this shrink wrap type stuff. To trap the sweat.


Then we did the other arm the same. A whole new 5 minutes of tingly torture. (thank god he won't remember any of this. But it did keep Bagel in check, she had the "deer in headlights" look going on the whole time. In fear that she was next)


After we went to the waiting room, now we had to wait for 30 minute for the sweat to collect under the shrinky wrap. Once one of the arms were free, they put a bag on him to collect a urine sample, then draw a vile of blood (I made Spaghetti go in with him for that. I was maxed out on my kids blood for the week) The blood is to test for Anemia.


She told us that they would have the results by 2:30 that day! At 2:30:01 we called Dr. B to get the results...


Negative. Phew. Breathe. Cry. Fist bump Spaghetti. Go kiss your boy.


We have to wait for the Anemia test, and whatever the Doc wanted with my kids urine, those had to be sent out. We are just happy to know the results of the CF.


Oh and in other Weaky news. At the DOC band appointment on Monday, the therapist told us that we only had 2 weeks left of the band! Hoo-fucking-ray!! I can NOT wait to set him free of that! He never notices its on his head. But with the warmer weather he sweats SO much! So May 19th is his last day!


I just have to say I make tiny babies, with big heads, that's all! Thanks again to all my friends and family who sent good wishes our way for Weaky's results. They were all appreciated!

EAT CAKE! or wear it. Which ever...

Yesterday was Weaky's 1st Birthday. And so we threw him a party. Bout 40 or so family and friends came by.

There was nummy fried chicken, sloppy joes, potato and pasta salad, some fun jello desert for dinner. There was a big fun cake, and a smaller cake that seemed to be WAY more fun for the 1 little person that wore it.

There was a tent with tables and chairs, bean bag games, and the pool table was used, everyone was happy, and a good time was had by all.

Weaky enjoyed friends, dinner, cake, then he napped. So his loving sister stepped in and opened his presents for him. And after each gift she would loudly say "Happy Dirt Day to Weaky!"

Weaky woke just in time to play with his toys and enjoy time with his family again.

Then the wind blew cold... and started to pick up, the black clouds rolled in, and we all grabbed toys, chairs, tables and brought everything inside.

Just in time for the rain! But that was ok, we had a great day outside, and when we all came in and realize that it was almost 8:00pm!

Everyone chatted in the house for a bit longer, then headed out to there cars. Of coarse The Queen and Carrots, and Gramma and Grampa Mc were some of the last to leave.

But as always Mommies trusty bestest friend, who was the first one there, Aerial was the last to go at 9:30 pm.

It was a long, fun windy, sunny, rainy, cloudy, cold, hot, warm day. All that matters is this...

My little baby boy, didn't just eat his cake. He wore it and covered as much of him in it as he possibly could.

Happy 1st Birthday my little man. Love You.

365 days ago...

365 days ago this was me.
And I was in love with the idea of my perfect little baby boy coming into this world. (I was happily drugged for this picture)


After learning the hard way with Bagel, I realized I need not feel some of the pain to feel complete as giving birth to my child. As quickly as I was in pain this time, I was givin my epi. We started at 6:00 am, with tons of paper work, and some pitocin to start the day. We were on our way.


Around 3:30 pm I was dilated to 10 so they broke my water, and we started pushing at 3:35pm, and with some good iTunes going, (think Salt n Pepa's "Push it") it was only 36 minutes and at 4:06 pm, on April 25th you were born.


And here you are. Just 1 day old. Your light brown mohawk, and those little eyes... All 7 pounds, 10 oz, and 20 1/2 inches of you...



That little mohawk quickly became a lot of fuzzy hair! You were so tiny, and just the sweetest and most patient little boy I have met.
And even with the need to wear this DOC band 23/7 you are still a trooper. They said it would be days before you would adjust and it just took you hours. And you are SO good about it.

As you grow and learn new things, as you explore your world, and become the little person I hope for, I can't help but wonder...

What kind of a boy will you be? The sweet mamma's boy I want? A shy guy? A sporty guy like your dad? Maybe artsy like your mom?

What ever you are supposed to be. Whatever you will do in your life. Whatever your goals, and dreams will be. Just remember one thing...

I will ALWAYS be your number one fan.

I will ALWAYS be on your side.

I will ALWAYS be your best friend.

I will ALWAYS be your best girl.

I will love you more then there is sand in the sea or stars in the sky.

Alexander Edward. I love you more then you will ever understand.

There may be a day, when you have children of your own, and you love them so much that they just take over your whole heart, and your whole sense of being.

And you may think back to your parents, and think that you understand the love that they had for you. An unconditional love that nothing can break. No one can come between.

I try to understand how much Gigi and Papa love me. But I realize now that no matter how much I try, they will love me more then I could understand. I just assume its the same love I have for you.

I can't explain my love for you. I can't explain my want for you to love me more then any little man has loved his mother.

Happy first birthday. I wish you happiness, and love.

More then my own life,

Mommy

xo...

I big puffy red heart you

Did you ever have those days where you just woke up and wanted to just give each child every second of your attention? Where you are just SO full of love for them, that you are thinking, Zoo, Aquariums, Museums, Park, Toys, Sandbox... all in one day? Just to see smiles on there faces?

And then you quickly realize that you can not possibly do it all. Nor do you have any funds... so the back yard swing, the sandbox and the 9 zillion toys will do.

I mean don't get me wrong, I have MORE then my fair share of whining, and crying, and violence twards siblings then any mom would want. But I still love them SO much, and seeing them laugh is just the best cure for any shitastical day.

I was walking in my garden (I will have to tell you later, but my dad built me garden boxes! 3 feet deep and 20 feet long! Two of them!!) which is mostly dirt and seeds, but it calms me, and Bagel was walking with me. I set her down to knee down by my corkscrew willow trees, and she hops up on my back and in the tiniest little voice she whispers "Yeeha, mommy! Yeeha!"

So onto all 4's I crawl around in circles as Bagel giggles and squeals. Saying "Faster! Yeeha!" Thank goodness she's a tiny 25 pounder!

And while she was napping today, Weaky and me went back out to the garden, I just put out these little pinwheels. 6 of them, all different colors. I sat down next to where they were in the garden, Indian style. While he sat facing me in my lap. When the wind would blow them he would laugh, and clap!

Then I took him out to the airplane swing out back. His first time in that swing. He wanted to clap, but I think he was too busy hanging on!

I hope my children are as easy to amuse as I always have been. Some people would say that as an insult to me. I didn't get it. I mean to just find the most simple thing in life, or just to use your imagination is SO much more fun.

I find children amazing, and that there job in life right now is to explore, discover, and create is just awesome that I get to watch them go through it. I love staying home with them. It's something I find myself very grateful for in these times.

I love you my babies.

Mommy

xo...