You can’t hide your face behind baggy clothes.

 

This is a problem. See I have this photo here, of Spaghetti and I from August 2007, This was at my grade school class reunion. I was 128 here…

Fast forward to date, now that weight was after Bagel, but since then having Weaky I still was able to get back down to 128 again, but sadly am back up again, and NOT able to blame my children for this one, the doctors scale and mine agree at 138.8.

Now see this face of mine? I can SEE the fat, sure it’s the odd angle I’m at with Spaghetti, but still if I was down in weight I wouldn’t see a puffy head, maybe that pretty face I used to have… just a note, I do think this is the push I needed.

I’ve been able to hide under hoodies, and shirts, shove my muffin top into my jeans, but there is no fashion that could cover my face fat. That I know of.

I know I know, I’ve said it a zillion times this year and I’ve got a BIG I told you so for you, I DID say that if I fell off the wagon it would take me almost a year to get back on, so here I am 32 days before the new year, psyching myself up for a new diet year.

I have dreams of strutting around my back yard in a swim suit, not some stringy number but at least being proud of the me I am. I want to wear shorts again, and a t-shirt that fits me nicely.

Spaghetti is on his 4th week of P90X. Yes the devil work out, not the diet, our diet has not been that good, not horrible, but the last night snacks and the carbs need to go.

I made these great organizing charts for all of us here. We each have these HUGE 2 1/2 x 2 picture frames that I removed the insert and flipped it over, so now they are big frames with just glass and white paper behind. Wala we have Feisty’s family organization system… or 4 big white frames with doodles in two of them, and mine has 3 week old to do list on it.

NOW Spaghetti has a empty chart except for what I drew at the bottom… a chart, LOTS of squares, SMTWTFS repeated three times across the bottom and 4 weeks under each of those, so you do the math… 3 times 4 is 12 weeks. No reason for 12 just what fit where I drew it, BUT that is the motivation he says.

That each day he can put a check into a box. And to fill up such a HUGE chart with so many x’s and he doesn’t want any empty boxes… hmmm… I think I need a chart too. 

Not saying I’m running for the sports bra and yoga pants any time soon, I am getting over the flu, but maybe, just maybe.

My post partum seems to be better, I am mentally stronger, I WANT to not have a fat body this winter, I WANT to have a awesome body for summer. I CAN do 30 lbs by summer, I CAN NOT hide my face fat. I WANT a chart, and salad, and I DO want carbs, but not so many.

THIS mental prep work is what I need to do to loose weight, and YES it will take me A LOT of baby steps, (see Baby Steps post) for me to get my shit together, and do this. For no one but ME. That’s enough of me rambling bout my face and lack of how to cover it up. I’ve got laundry to do, this to sew for Christmas (SHIT that is coming up FAST!) and children to attend to. Happy Tuesday Bloggers!

Feisty.