- NO! Your not fat. You just had kids!
- I only wish I was as tiny as you!
- With the Holiday's coming you should just wait to diet.
- You are nuts! You look great, you carry it so well!
Well folks here you have it. Me "carrying it SO well" oh and if you haven't noticed this is a pity party for me.
Not you.
So if you wish to be 5 feet tall and 30 lbs over weight, go right ahead. When I bitch about my weight and you hear a number like 135, and could only wish to be so tiny, you must understand that people who are ONLY 5 feet tall should weigh around 105-115 at most. Understood?
Fuck the Holidays, I mean I love them and all but I can't sit around and just eat my weights worth of Holiday food, I will be in a deeper hole then I am in now.
And the whole "You just had kids" line is bull shit too. Seriously people. Weaky is 19 months. I have had MORE then enough time to get my ass even started on the right track.
I blame the insanity that they drive me too. I mean between the kids, the house, the bills and lack of money, the pets, and just everyday drama, eating is just what can make me happy.
SO I through myself a big fat pity party. Spaghetti was invited.
I was folding clothes. I tried on some old t-shirts... ha. That was a joke. Then I found my corset bra thingy I wore under my wedding dress. You know how it hooks in the back? How the two ends should match up around the back? Um, mine two ends of the corset? They made it to my sides. I am TWICE the size around that I was when I got married.
THEN when I thought that was bad. I found some maternity shirts, and tried them on, being all sad that I was done making babies, and realized I was to fat to look even remotely decent in them.
...
So if you sure as fuck don't fit into your skinny old clothes, and you are now looking quite muffin top-ish in your old maternity clothes. Then someone tell me what in the flying fuck am I supposed to wear?
So I cleaned my closet. I bagged up 2 garbage bags (so far) that was 78 hangers of shirts that in NO way I should wear in public. I refuse to muffin top, even around the house it's just gross.
I am now the proud owner of hoodies, sweaters, and a few tshirts.
1. This will cut back on clothes all over the floor, because I can't pull out the 90% of my wardrobe that doesn't fit me and PRETEND to suck it in, only to toss it in an angry fit 20 seconds after it leaves the hanger.
2. This will open my eyes to the limited wardrobe I have, so I MAY want to wear something besides the 14 items I have that fit.
3. I at one point REFUSED to buy clothes that fit my fat self, in fear I would stay this way. BUT for Christmas my MIL wants to take me Xmas shopping for clothes. I may just have to cave so I have clothes to wear (I have 1 pair of jeans, and one pair of corduroy pants)
What ever shall I do?!?
Spaghetti was invited to the pity party for the reason of I need his help. He needs to police me.
I do think P90X will be in this new me make over process.
I think my Giaim Ball and work out DVD will too.
Eating will consist of nothing fun. Nothing creepy and out of normalcy for me either.
Eggs for breakfast. WAY less coffee (I know, I know, but I can't function with out it completely)
Snack
Salad for lunch.
Snack
Dinner will be chicken and a veggie.
Work out of some sort for at LEAST 1 hour a day.
Results should be a skinnier me. And Spaghetti.
Will I stick to it? Will I be fat forever? I can only hope there will be a change... stay tuned for when we are starting, and how it is going...
4 comments:
Feeling this way just plain sucks. I really hope that p90x, should you go that route, works for you. I believe it will if you stick to it. Good luck. I'll check back often to see how you're doing!
Wow girlie, YOU-ARE-BRAVE to be stickin' your bikini bod right out there for all to see. My stomach hasn't seen the light of day in 20 years...I can't IMAGINE taking a photo like that and publishing it for all to see! I guess you're owning up to it. Good for you for getting on yourself and making yourself own up. Was wondering how the PX90 was working for you. I'm not one to join in on some hot new craze. I'm lazy, I admit it. Inspire me to do something please! Good luck with whatever you decide!
You have such a beautiful face, who the heck's even noticing those few extra pounds? But - hey, I hear ya and know how infuriating and frustrating it is. Just keep with your plan, stick to it as much as possible and is reasonable and you'll soon start to see results. I know it's not easy nor very much fun, but I know you can do it.
I want to say you are BRAVE. I can barely look in my own mirror let alone put a picture up on my blog. Though we did take family pictures and I was DISGUSTED with what I saw. So i can REALLY relate to how you are feeling. I know what I have to do I just really don't like working out. But it is either move my fat ass or keep it. Don't really like either choice I will just have to see which one wins out.
By the way I am 4'10 and 170. That is SEVENTY pounds over weight. I would kill for it to be thrity. I will be watching and hopeful sharing in your sucesses.
I am going to try Zumba right after thanksgiving.
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