A note to the spider.

Dear Spider,

In a weird way I love you. Even though you all of your kind send a chill down my spine. I have come to terms that you love it here. And the fact that many orb weavers and wolf spiders call my home theirs, is ok. AS long as it is the OUT.SIDE. of my home.

No the garage doesn't count and I don't care if it's cold or rainy out. AND the basement is SO off limits. That is either the t.v. room, or my art room, even though I have had the pleasure of sitting at my art desk and on 3 occasions had my cat bring me a dead spider (I take that back, once it was a fly)SO again. No go there either.

Now I have to explain the point of my ode to the house hold spider.

This is I am SURE of what I will hear for the next few weeks...

Bagel will say...

Once upon a time. I was sleeping behind my bedroom door,

because GOD forbid I sleep in my bed. I have slept behind the door around the little corner area for about 8 months. Can we say big bed WAY to early?!?

and all of a sudden I started to POUND on my bedroom door,

as if a 20 foot 7000 lb tarantula was going to eat me, and mommy raced to safe me, or count to ten and try not to freak out because it's 10:30 at night, and Bagel is being a bad, bad girl...

because there was a BIG spider right by my head!! And so mommy came to save me!

The end.

Mommy loves this story, and this spider (who is dead now) but I was able to use that to tell her that spiders live in that corner behind her door. And that she should sleep in her big girl bed and she will be safe.

We have stuffed animals of all kinds on watch tonight for all bugs. The are told to destroy at first glance. Bagel is tucked into her bed, head covered, small blue eyes and little blonde bangs peeking out.

I am maybe a bit early and jinxing myself here. But I can only hope that the help of a spider will get that kid to sleep in her damn bed. (don't get me wrong there are WAY other concerns for parents out there, but this is mine. And it's getting to be a pet peeve)

Thanks spider. But stay off her bed, because I am SO screwed if you fuckers show up there...