Meenie Weenie

Sorry...

So Sorry...

Really, really sorry...

Yep, sorry to you too...

And again. I am sorry.

I am sorry for being a Meenie Weenie.

I am mean, and bitter. More then I should be. I yell at Bagel for just stupid things. Like her demanding I change her sippy from water to milk and back again. I don't yell yell. But I get angry, and tell her not now. I should read with you more. I do try at least once a day. And I do teach you colors, and counting, and shapes... I try damn it... your just so much energy and if you don't have a nap then from 7 am till 7 pm is 12 hours of high strung, whiny, and boss toddler! I do need to just stop and breathe... when I get mad at you I will just punish you with kisses and hugs. I know you hate Time Out but you can NOT keep trying to make Weaky wear a box for a hat. And Dong doesn't like it when you punch her in the head. Sigh... Bagel...

I don't yell at Weaky. I just don't play with him as much as I should. And he is ALWAYS last, in the morning he is the first one up, but most of the time I get Spaghetti off to work, feed the dogs, and cats, get Bagel up and fed, then I am finally able to feed Weaky. (ok, I am last then.) And I need to NOT depend on your sister to be your entertainment, she is almost 3, but she is in NO way able to be left with you for more then a minute. (she's getting to the point where she doesn't realize what she is doing to Weaky could hurt him! I need to make more time for you and me little man.

Thing 1 and Thing 2, well they get my attention when I feed them... um and when I shoo them from my desk chair... oh and when I clean out there litter box... sorry bout the neglect girls...

Ding and Dong... they are not so bad. The barking is less and less, and the destroying of toys, remotes, phones, books... well that could be because we took ANYTHING possible for you to destroy and made it out of your reach could be why the destruction rate is slowing. But I am sorry for not playing ball as much as I used to... when the weather gets nice (we did today!) I try to at least spend an 1/2 hour to an hour with you a day.

Spaghetti.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I have been so bitter, snappy, and just plain mean to you and everyone else in our house. I know I say my job is hard. And that you do work 3 jobs, and this is my job. But like I told you, it's hard for me when you don't complain, you don't take anything out on anyone else. I know I am lucky to have you, but it's hard to keep up when your always so good to me.

I know you work 3 jobs. But the house work, the dogs, the cats, the kids, the banking, the yard, the everything in between! It's just insane, and I think I hit the nail on the head.

This job. The SAHM job is the hardest. Why? Because there is no boss. You are your own boss.

So I have to be disciplined enough to make myself a list of things to do. And do them, all while tending to the kids, pets, phone calls, and everything I do around here. I must say I SUCK at being my own boss. I slack, I am lazy, I would rather blog, poke around on Facebook, or just go to the art room, before I fold all that laundry that is clean, or wash the 5 that are waiting for me to wash!

Sure take away the computer. I will just find a book to read, or zone out with bad afternoon t.v. programing.

I am trying to organize the house. Declutter. And get rid of SO much for the garage sale coming up. I want what you want Spaghetti.

I want to walk into a house where it's picked up (I know, spotless is not happening) the dishes are done, and the kids are happy. Where it's livable around here.

The clutter, the bills the ALL day kids, it stresses me out, to the point where as soon as someone finally comes home, the get the brunt of my stress.

And sadly for the last 4 months that is you. Now I want to change, and be a happier wife, a nicer mom, and you will be doing your Wrigley season, where your gone more of the week then home.

I hope when you are home I am a decent person to be around. Not the angry spaz that yells or bitches about everything. The last person on the planet I should be angry at is you. You take my crap and I am happy that you told me today how you feel.

I will try to be a better person. Not just for you, the kids and the fuzzies. But for me too.

I love you Spaghetti Mc, Bagel, Weaky, Thing 1 and 2, and my Ding and Dong. I love you lots.

Muah.

Your Feisty Mommy and Wife.