Chickens forced to watch family massacre

My parents hosted a party this last weekend. It was an "October Fest Italian Style" with yummy spaghetti and chicken, and everyone brought a dish to pass. It was a great time, with good friends.

Bagel chose to eat her dinner by her toys in the living room. One of them being a small barn. She had all the toy chickens lined up.

As she sat and ate her chicken and spaghetti. My good friend Pipe sat near by. She pointed to the toy chickens and said "Bagel, did you know your eating their friends? Your eating chicken"

Bagel looks at her all puzzled. And then said in return "I'm not eating their friends. I'm eating their family!"

Again one of the many reasons I love my daughter.

The Miracle of Toilet Paper

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion."If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds

"Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked."They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

I stopped."Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man.

Thanks for the funny joke from my friend Piper via email.

T- minus 20 hours 39 minutes....

Today is crazy.

I have T-minus 21 hours until we leave.


We as in me.


Me, the Queen, Pipe, my friend one L, her sister, and boss/best friend.


We are going to Indiana. Why am I so excited to go to Indiana, in January you ask?


Because there is a quaint little town, with a nice little place we will be taking over from Friday at 4pm, until Sunday afternoon.


We are going to a place where a nice lady will cook and clean for us, then disappear to be with her family all while we crop.


Yes this is my Christmas present from Spaghetti. He is giving me a 3 day, 2 night getaway. I have packed an insane amount of stuff.

2 rolling totes (one is 4 feet tall!) for scrapbook papers, chipboard, mediums, punches, adhesives, and Cricut cartridges.

1 bag for project scrapbooks, scrapbook magazines, my file of ideas, of coarse my Stampin' Up! catalog.

1 carousal of tools

My work mat

1 bag for pictures to scrap

1 bag of stamps
1 bag of more tools, less used. And memorabilia.
1 tote for accessories and journal sheets
1 tote for more accessories and ribbons
1 tote for just solid card stock and mini books to work on
(all the above is packed)

That is not counting the pink tote for candy, and my Starbucks drinks, and coffee. Clothes, and toiletries. (still need to pack clothes)

Still have to clean the house (Spaghetti is supervising the children this weekend) the more that Spaghetti doesn't have to do, the easier 3 days with the kids will be. (he is spending the day Saturday with his mom and dad, cheater!!)

I have been tackling the laundry all week, there are still 4 bags from Thanksgiving to put away, the BIG pack and play is overflowing with clean laundry, and there are 3 baskets in our bedroom to put away. 3 still to wash, AND one in the dryer and one in the washer. Phew.

I just have to unload the dishwasher, and do laundry, otherwise the house is clean.

20 hours and 40 minutes.... and counting...

A fun day, till something died up my ass

SO I had the best time at the crop this last Saturday. My mom and I went to this cute little, impossible to find, scrapbook store. A.maz.ing. The room color, the decorations (can you say Pottery Barn Kids?) the fully stocked kitchen all for us to use! And even better we were the only ones booked for that day!

So mom and I, head out early, I am a cropper from start of time to end, and then some. The crop started at 9 am and was scheduled till midnight. We stopped at Starbucks right around the corner, for a yummy breakfast and my free Mocha Peppermint Twist (Red) promo they have going on.

We cropped and shopped all morning, then off to TGI Friday for a great lunch. When we returned to the crop, our one girlfriend, Patti was there. The crop room manager showed up, and the party was getting funner! (yes that is a word I use often, way better then "more fun") Piper showed up later then she wanted, and Aerial came by too.

We all worked on projects, ate pizzas, drank wine (free, yes free when you crop!!) Then with little or no begging they let us all go into the warehouse where they store everything. Oh I forgot to mention, that this place is an online store, and the crop room was just opened to the public in October of 2008. So this warehouse is huge, all stocked with all the newest and trendiest scrapbooking supplies! Oh the ooohs, and aaahhhs, from everyone! It was great!!

This store ships as far as Australia! But we have it right here! (well about an hour away) but still! The prices are great, and they are possibly still running a sale on some Cricut cartridges for only $29.99!!!!

Anywho, so we all had a great time, Aerial left first, then Pipe and my mom left. Patti and I stayed till about 12:30, right as I was getting ready to take out my last load of stuff, I farted. Not the whole noisy fart. But the worst ones of all for me. The SBD. Now I have a cold and I can not breathe through my nose, so when I smelt it, I feared for everyones lives, well at least there nose hairs from being singed off.

So I announce that I farted and that I am sorry. If they never want me back again (after much praise on how fun and entertaining we all were) I would completely understand. Well of coarse they said it's no big deal, everyone farts. I then said, you must not smell it yet.

Oh when it hit them... they asked me if I shit myself? Or what died up my ass? (after 15 hours of quality time, you get pretty comfortable with people) I told them it stank. It made the younger girl gag.

I am so sorry to the nice ladies at Custom Crops. You were awesome, and nice, and your store was pretty, I am again sorry for dropping a fart bomb in your expensively decorated crop room. (that was no fart cloud. That was a bomb)

Outside of that our day was awesome. Oh and no I was not mortified, it takes WAY more then that to embarrass me. Maybe shitting myself would do it... be sure to check out Custom Crops and tell them I sent you.

Wordful Wednesday. 2 foot scissors = one butt kisser.

In the spirit of Halloween, I must share with you, the ever so cute Halloween class I taught a few weeks ago... I must explain. I am a Stampin Up! demonstrator. I have been for 4 years now. I don't do home shows much, unless you really want one. I teach classes twice a month from my home. Yes it does make extra money, but that all gets turned right back into the hobby I love! Papercrafting!! So for this class, the Halloween Bonanza, they paid $25 for the class. In return the got a $9.99 pack of the 12x12 Halloween scrapbook paper from Stampin' Up!, and the $9.99 pack of Halloween rub on's from Stampin' Up!, so stamp camp was really only $5. Using some of there product, they made these adorable projects (yes I made them up myself...)

This first picture is of the card that everyone made, along with the cute envelope, we even lined the envelope! (the bats are made from the square scallop punch, too cute!!)

Then we made these adorable 7"x2" pencil boxes ($1 at Target) into Halloween scrapbooks!

Here is the book inside, just using the paper, rub-ons and some fun ribbons!

Then they made two 12x12 page layouts, here is the first one... (tombstones from the keytag punch, and grass from the wider Olive grosgrain ribbon)

This one is not complete, I didn't finish it so I could show them how I put the bats on the twill tape. They were rub-ons too.

So that was my Halloween Bonanza Stamp Camp, we had a blast (that is when I dressed up as P!nk) and everyone else did too!



Here are some of the Creative Maniacs. My friend Pipe came as a smart ass, myself as P!nk, the Queen as a scarecrow, L as a flu shot victim, Lego as a mummy, D came later after pictures, she was covered in glitter, and wore a shirt that said "Supermom, somewhere between Paris and Martha" I loved it! and 2L's as....drum roll please... not only the biggest butt kisser, but the best costume ever....

A stamp camper. Seriously, she won first place (a pack of paper and a stamp set) she puffy painted a shirt, she sewed that vest, made little stamp camp badges, the hat had our snail adhesive on it, with markers. And my open house project was adhered to the back of the vest. Oh and she had these 2 foot plastic scissors on her side.

Happy 4th annual Halloween party!!

14 hours of me myself and I.

In two short hours I will be dropping Bagel and Spike off at Gramma and Grampa Mc's house. I then am free until Sunday. Un-freakin-believable. I am elated. I may read like I am stunned. But the fact that my day is here... oh I forget you don't know what I am talking about.

Well instead of blogging I should be organizing, and packing up all my fun supplies for an amazing day and night at the local scrapbook store. They are hosting there first overnight crop!

P.J.'s and all I am headed over around 5 pm, and not leaving (they will feed me!) until 7 am. Yes folks, that is 14, I repeat 14 hours of scrapbooking. I have been motivating myself all week for this. (not like it takes much to motivate me to drop of my monkey children and run to the nearest scrapbook store for 14 glorious hours!)

I have been going through my magazines for layouts, topics, ideas and well I just love to read and reread my scrapbook magazines! Oh the glory of it all! I might even treat myself to a new magazine... oh I am excited. Like NKOTB concert excited... like no kids whining, or dogs barking, or ironing Spaghetti's clothes excited.

I have my pictures all in order by category, in separate little sandwich baggies, I will have coordinating papers, chipboard, accessories and tools all ready. I will pack a small side table for my Cricut machine, snacks, caffeine, a small throw blanket for my chair, and my big comfy slippers.

I am hoping to also get all those cards done for my customers that could not make my World Card Making Day Class on Wednesday, (yes all 72 cards!) I want to actually have pages, yes more then one done tonight too. (usually I go with friends and I MAYBE get 2 pages done, I just love to socialize!!) Not tonight, well maybe a little talking! But after so many hours even I get tired of hearing myself, so I will pack my iPod and work hard!

Sorry again to the Queen, One L, and Pipe for not inviting them. I would get NOTHING done if you were all there with me!

Below is the beloved cup. It's a real plastic insulated cup that I bought at Starbucks, the lid twists on, and the straw is hard plastic. This is my favorite water cup! Must have with me!

So I can not wittle my day away by blogging constantly, I must go pack myself, my kidlets, and enjoy myself! I am hoping to hear from no one. Unless my kids are missing a limp or bleeding profusly, leave me alone! Miss me!