Fuck me in the goat ass

What? Fuck me.

I woke up yesterday feeling like I gargled sand. Hoping to shake it, I took an Airborne. I went to bed with what I thought was the begining of a cold.

Damn them all. I was right. Headache, sore throat, mucas in head. Gross. Best part is I've got shit to do this week. And by that I mean more then my usual sit around and play mommy/laudry bitch.

Today will hopefully be rest, and pick up around the house when I am up to it. Oh and get stuff together for the garage sale

Tomorrow is the get together (here of coarse) for Weaky's birthday. (Just grandparents, Frances and Aerial)

Thursday is my Lia Sophia party, damn it. I told the lady I was busy as shit this week, but for Sarah to get her "party credit" I had to book in April. Pushy bitch. I just want my free stuff.

Friday is set up, and presale garage sale day out at my mom's.

Saturday is the big Garage sale day. Huge day the whole damn subdivision does it at the same time, tons of money can be made, BUT feeling like shit won't help.

So that's my pre coffee bitch for the day. Spaghetti will be of no use, he has back to back jobs all week (except for Weaky's birthday party)

Fuack. me. in. the. goat. ass.

Waterrhea

Waterrhea: Pronounced like Diarrhea. Same idea, but litterly liquid poo. More like straight water, but from the poo hole. Note to people who pee a little when they sneeze, don't bank your odds that you won't sharf waterrhea when you sneeze either. Yes it's that disgusting around here.

That is my best symptom of the flu right now. I have the body ache, head ache, stomach ache, I'm dizzy, exhausted, and letheargic.

I am pathetic. But I am resting ALOT. Thankful that my flu scheduled itself around Spaghetti's day's off, so I had him right by my side, well actually right by the kids. ALL day. I slept, if I wasn't sleeping I was on the big move from the bed down the hall, down the stairs to the couch. I was in the kitchen for 3 bites of oatmeal, and the smell of everyone elses food made me gag.

And if I wasn't resting, or on the big shuffle to one horizontal position to another, I was waterrheaing my brains out. I have lost 4 lbs in the last two days. I should probably start my Lose It Bitch diet after this huh?

So that is why there is a lack of me. I wish I could comment, or just read blogs, but I get motion sick easily, and not kidding, to much scrolling makes me gag on a good day. I can't take my chances.

I just put the kids to bed, Spaghetti did have to work a few hours tonight at the video store, that took SO much out of me. Were not even talking baths here, just up to brush teeth, read books, sing song, tuck in. Between children I went a barfed.

So what are my odds that the kids don't get sick too? Just hoping that I can be somewhat better before they all get sick.


Fingers crossed!

Blindsided.

(Spaghetti's Aunt N, his Cousin, Cuz, and his Uncle T. July 2009)

You know those people that you love? The ones you call family? Do me a favor.

Go hug them. All of them. If you can't call them and tell them you love them.

We are all busy. Very busy people. We sometimes say, maybe next year, maybe next birthday we will do it big. How about in a few years we go there.

Well for Cuz (Spaghetti's cousin) she learned a lesson on maybe next time...

Spaghetti's Uncle T, (Cuz's dad) he had the flu. He coughed, felt crappy, threw up alot. For over a week. Then he got really bad migraines. For 4 days they just wouldn't stop.

Spaghetti's Aunt N. got worried, she told him he had to go to the hospital. He needed her help getting to the car. He had problems using his right side. He was speaking gibberish.

He was put in the ER. Everyone was guessing a stroke, or maybe an aneurysm. The did tests and scans...

It's brain cancer.

The migraines, the right side issues, the gibberish. It all makes sense now.

Then we had to see how bad it was. When do we start Kemo, and treatment? What Cancer facility will he stay at?

They did a full body scan to see if the cancer was anywhere else.

He has melanoma in his kidneys and liver. And he's not waking up from the medication to help with the pain.

He should have woken with in hours, instead it took him over a week.

Friday Cuz and her mom went to the Hospital to visit Uncle T. He was awake. Eyes open. Glasses on. He couldn't talk, and they were not aware of how "there" he really was. But for a day they had him. Awake. More then they have had for weeks.

Then yesterday Uncle T. took a turn for the worse. The doctors said there will be no treatment. Melanoma doesn't respond to kemo, and the tumor in his brain is 2 inches around and 1 1/2 inches deep, so they can't reach it.

Right now they are just talking about keeping him comfortable till he passes.

Typing that just blows my mind.

This is the same guy that just talked me through closing my pool a month ago. They same guy we just took a road trip up to Milwaukee Fest to watch Banjo play with Kate & Kacy. The guy who just rides his bike over for a nice ride.

(Uncle T.'s bike him and Aunt N. rode over one nice fall day last year)

The guy that goes to see his kids in Nashville whenever he wants, he gardens, he tinkers in his garage, he is a loving father, grandfather, has a grandchild on the way in April, he has SO much life left and it was just taken away.

I am angry at this cancer. Just like we all are. It hurts my heart SO much for this family. Who is my family too.

I looked to Uncle T. for help. He is SO much like my dad. Losing him makes it so hard for me. I couldn't even tell my dad, I was afraid I would become the blubbering mess I am right now.

I love you Uncle T. I just hope that your pain is minimal until the end. Tell Gramma we all say "Hi" (she just left us due to an aneurysm in February) man this is going to be a jacked up Holiday season.

Love You,

Jack

Dear Banjo and Cuz,
I love you both, and my heart hurts SO much for you both. I can only give you endless hugs, and all my love right now.

Missing Spaghetti and defenseless children

Sick. Still.

I have now shared all of my sickness with my poor defenseless children. Weaky is so sad, his little eyes are all red, and his nose is runny. He has the tiniest little man cough.


Bagel is just an adorable hacking, and sneezing little princess. Who whines a bit more due to the virus that is invading her usual energetic self.


All we wanna do is sleep, and sleep some more.

Due to lack of energy, or it being used up in catering to the sick babies, my bathroom is looking like this. Where the laundry is pouring over to the floor, and Weakys bath tub is just there.

The second sink is a total disaster, we haven't used it in over a month. (you can't even see it. Maternal? D. Pimpster? You two freakin yet? Wanna organize my bathroom?) I am trying to cut through all the crap, declutter, and we need a system because EVERYTHING ends up here. (obviously)

Oh, and if you see the guy in the picture below. Tell him I love him and I miss him. He's worked 3 days at the video store, and inbetween working when he is home, I have been running someone to a doctor. So I barely get to see him. He answers to the name Spaghetti.

Yep so that is what is new. Germs, lack o' energy, and lethargic people around here. Sound fun, huh? Wanna visit? HaCk, CoUgH, HaCk, HaCk, Ahh.. ahh...ahh...CHOOOO!!

Gag me with a purple polka dotted spatula backwards

Fuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk meeeeeeeeee.

I am SO sick and SO tired.

I have one of those coughs, that is more like a dry heave, where you get all teary eyed, piss your pants EVERY TIME you cough, and you start to gag, the kids are confused...

oh but wait... there is joy in that little bottle of Vick's Vapor Rub, you rub some on the bottom of your foot, place a sock over it. Wala. Less coughing instantly, take some Tussin to top it off, and attempt to get the kids bathed, and fed.

THEN I get to go to the art room...

WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Seriously?!? I had to leave my blog to go have a coughing/gaging/piss my pants fit. Again.

Anywho, since I was rudely interrupted I put Weaky to bed. Fed Bagel, Sweet & Sour Chicken, for the first time.

I then had a coughing/gaging/piss in your pants fit. Again.

So I left Bagel to eat, ran to the bathroom to gag/cough/piss. I come out. Bagel obviously loves Sweet and Sour sauce more then the actual chicken. She is looking very Ompa Loompa ish right now. (Anyone know how to remove Sweet & Sour sauce from skin?)

Sigh...

I clean her up, take her up to bed, she wanted to play in the front room. NO way Jose. This mom is SO done. BUT Weaky is not done, I make him a PediaSure bottle and go BACK upstairs to get him BACK out of bed. So right now Weaky is in the pack-n-play drinking his nom, nom bottle.

I am sitting in my desk chair, hacking my lungs out, chugging water, sucking ColdEzz, wondering how I will make it down in the art room...

Sigh...

Yes the art room. I MUST go there. I know, I know, it is my happy place, but when I am sick I avoid it. I need happy energy to create. BUT I have a stamp camp for 8 customers on Wednesday night. We are making a cool home decor project, that will include twelve 6"x 6" sized scrapbook layouts (birthday, Christmas, Valentines...) Yeah... so far I have the Valentines one, the Halloween one, the Birthday one, and I am working on a Spring one... 4 done, 8 more to go...

Sigh...

If only I were swimming in a big pool with Spaghetti right now. That's right, it's a frosty 22 degrees out, but Spaghetti is in a nice 90 degree pool. Taking his Scuba Steve lessons. Tonight is the first one. I am SO happy for him. He SO deserves this.

Sigh...

But I am here. In my yellow moo moo night gown, with my water cup, runny eyes, lungs hacked out onto the big desktop.

Well I must stuff what is left of my lungs back down my throat, suck it up. Put Weaky BACK to bed, and go attempt to be creative for a few hours. (ok, I can't lie, that is not my lung. Sure as shit feels like it though. But that is mine... or was... it's my Placenta from Alex... cool, huh?)

(yes I pulled the "Mommy! Save me card" called my mama, she is coming over tomorrow, to help me with the kids, and I will be draining her creative mind for help. Let's hope on a miracle that I can get it all done tonight, and enjoy tomorrow with my mommy... doubtful I know)

Hope you all feel better then I do. I advise you to go take some Airborne, Emergen-C, Vitamins or whatever it is you take. Just reading this could make you sick. Lysol your eyes or something... or not, that would probably burn alot... yikes I'm rambling... gatta go.

Gnight.

Sick. Not sick. My 3 days of me time.

Thursday night I went to bed, Bagel was not in a mood to sleep. At. All. Every time she woke she was crying. The last time going in her room, I was on my way to bed. I decided to take her with me. I grabbed her pillow and her green blankie, and stuffed cat Chloe. Off to bed.

I woke at one point and realized she was holding my hand. I must have woken her then, and thought she would be good to go to her own bed now. (3 something in the morning)

After putting her in bed, I called Spaghetti at work and told that she was finally in bed. And that I was feeling sick, and I just needed to go back to sleep.

I woke at 7 on Friday, head spinning, pounding, and nauseous. I threw up. I went downstairs, even though both kids were up. I made myself oatmeal, and could barely eat it I was so tired.

I went to the basement to wake Spaghetti and tell him I needed his help through at least breakfast. (I figured the kids could play in the front room while I napped on and off) he comes up with an amazing solution.

Within an hour, Spaghetti and the kids are gone to his parents house. I go to bed.

I stayed in bed till 2 pm, sleeping on and off. When Spaghetti returned (no kids) his parents were going to keep the kids till Sunday, so I could get myself better. (Spaghetti and I both have parents that will drop anything to help us)

I was so exhausted from going down to the first floor to visit with Spaghetti, I threw up, and dragged my sorry ass back to bed. (there was a total of 4 barf sessions, if your keeping track) My lower back was KILLING me, like give me an epidural pain. I haven't had the flu ache this bad in about 7 years!

Spaghetti also returned with Season 4 of LOST, I missed a bunch of episodes last season, and I am trying to piece in what I missed. (if you need a catch up of season 1-3 you so need to watch "LOST in 8:15" it's a quick narrated skip through the first 3 seasons with a bit of dry humor)

I watched LOST till about 6 pm. I called Spaghetti's parents to check on the kids, then my mom to update her on my stats. I drank NyQuil and went to bed at 8 pm.

12 hours later I woke on Saturday morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Hmmm.... weird. I took it easy, but thought McD's would be a fun treat, I tossed a leash on Dong and off went to the drive through, for Breakfast Burritos and sausage patties for the dogs.

After a relaxed breakfast, I called my mom to again update her on my stats. She said that since I have a free day, of no kids. I should paint my art room. (The post-it note yellow is fun. But I want purple now!)

So I did. All day till about 8 pm, I unloaded my office first (since it was still the original guava color. Thanks dad) and painted it a nice lilac purple. The shelves are all lime green! I love it! I reloaded my office, and moved to the main counter. Where I made good progress on the corner, and painted one set of the drawers (purple with green edges) then did the green on the other drawers, taped the handles, and used up the purple on the roller and in the tray for the one wall.

The only drawback is that my room is LOADED with stuff, and to take it all apart to paint is a biaatch. So I unload a bit at a time, paint, it dries fast, put the stuff back, move on.

I did that most of the night, ate some noodles, and instead of going to bed. I stayed up watching mindless "I Love Money 2" and "Jon and Kate plus 8" as I drool over there duel washer and dryers. Plus the drooling over the damn house in general. Very nice! (TLC must pay well!!)

I was also drunk dialed a few times by my bestest friend (see previous post) and finally crashed out around 1 am.

I woke this morning, stanky and undercaffinated. So I got myself some coffee, hopped in the tub with my portable DVD player at my side, watched more lost, and enjoyed my last few moments of just me time.

It was a weird, yet nice weekend just for me. I have to leave now, to go pick up my monkey children. My IL's are probably pretty spent after a whole 3 days with the little ones. But maybe one last stop just for me... for a little Apple Chi Infusion Tea and a breakfast sandwich, all by myself...I hope you all had a fantabulous weekend!

Barfious and Shitastical

I. am. sick.

Not head cold sick.
Not sneezy coughing sick.
Not runny nose sick.

I must have skipped all that and went right to the body aches and barfing every hour flu, sick.


So this maybe my trip to the computer. I was all snug in my bed, and when lying down I feel fine, I could go do laundry, or unload the dishwasher. Nope, 5 feet away from my big warm bed and I am exhausted, and nauseous.


Where are the kids you ask? Well after the first barf session, I went down to the t.v. room to wake up Spaghetti (where he crashes after his night shift) and told him I just needed help to get through breakfast with the kids.


He called his mom and dad, while I laid lifeless on the living room floor, they said they would keep the kids till tomorrow.


Yes I know I am one lucky SOB for having a husband that will drop everything and run the kids to my very nice IL's who are willing to take care of my babies for a few days.


Well my energy is capped. I need to go barf, and back to bed.


Goodnight.

Manic Monday. Vick's, Rainbows, and to much talk

What do you do to make yourself feel better when you are sick?
Vick's baby bath.
Vick's under my nose.
Sleep. Alot.
Double noodle soup.
Watch Little Nicky (it's my "I'm sick movie") with Adam Sandler
Have my Wish Bear care bear Ed got me.

What is the most amazing weather you've ever seen?
I see crazy weather here often. A few times, I have seen it where it rains in my front yard and not my back yard. Or where I have stood just about to the steps of my deck by the grass, and it's raining in the grass, but not on the deck.

I have seen more rainbows here in this house then I have ever seen.

The snow is crazy. With all the cornfields there are drifts, from the crazy winds we get. So a 4" snow fall, could be a 3' pile when it's done blowing. Don't even get me started on I-80! That highway is insane with the snow!

I live in Chicagoland. Where as they say, if you don't like the weather, wait a few hours. It will change. No joke. I have had many days where we will use the heat, then the air, then the heat again in July!

Do you listen to music or talk radio in the car?
I HATE talk radio in the car. (Some sports games are tolerable. Some.) I love the radio, music makes me happy. I don't mind some morning shows, mostly Drex from Kiss FM, if anyone is keeping track, looks like Eddie and Jobo from B96 got canned. Again.

I loathe commercials. I can't stand them!! I don't even like when the D.J.'s talk over the begining of the song, STFU!!

Random Sunday Morning.

• It is 3 degrees out. Before the windchill. There are 40 mph winds. Which equals freeze your privates off, stings to breathe, make you cry like a bitch cold. So I drove to McD's for breakfast (thanks Aerial, I blame you and your coke sucking through the straw sound I heard from you yesterday)
• Bagel was elated to see me home with a hash brown and breakfast burrito, AND a chocolate milk (special treat)
• I uploaded and burned about 100 pictures, I will try not to show them all at once to you all, but it's hard to hold back.
• I am in the process of packing for my beloved weekend getaway to a scrapbook retreat less then 3 weeks away... sigh... I know, 3 weeks, but I thrive off of organizing pictures, and filing my 12x12 pretty scrapbook papers. I spent a week just on accessories alone. Then a week on tools, and inks, stamps, markers, chalks, paints... it's my obsession, go get your own.
• We faxed the request to NOT pay our taxes through our mortgage payments, giving me $479 more a month (our tax return is going to pay for the taxes, don't worry!) Just shuffling the funds around.
• I still have a retarded amount of laundry to put away. And for those of you keeping track there are still 9 garbage bags of clean clothes stacked in Weaky's closet from Thanksgiving shove-the-shit-people-are-coming-over, obviously we are not in need of most of those items, but I am noticing a shortage of underware and socks.
• We are all sick in some degree. Bagel is a mucus monkey, Weaky just sound stuffy, Spaghetti is always sick, and I woke up with a sore throat but McD's coke and Breakfast burritos, plus the grease from the hash browns has coated my throat.