My story 10 years ago.

Where was I 10 years ago Sunday…

At the gym. I’d normally forget these minor details but I remember them so clearly. I was just married, not even 3 months. My dad had won a 3 month membership to a local gym, and gave it to me.

I was finished working out. I cleaned off my treadmill, and headed toward the locker room. As I walked by the juice bar I saw on the muted t.v. a scene from a movie.

I was thinking ‘What country is this horrible act happening? I mean this doesn’t happen in the states so maybe the twin towers in Malaysia, the Petronas Towers. I had seen Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones on them in the movie Entrapment. But all too fast I realized that was here. In OUR country. In OUR New York.

Instead of rushing to the locker room to collect my things and hurry home. I turned towards the gym. Full of people who were doing what they do everyday… knowing that they only have a short period of time left before their world is changed forever.

I drove home, and called my husband, I was the first one to tell the day shift surveillance agents at the casino about what was happening. I called my parents and my best friend. Like everyone else I needed to just check in on those I loved.

I got ready for work, I was a teller at a local grocery store bank. I remember sitting in my purple Pontiac. In the grocery store parking lot. The radio station said that the building was collapsing. I cried in my car.

I went into work. And we solemnly sat around with a radio on. Listening to what was happening to our world. The older customers were scared and wanted to take out all their money. We ended up closing early that day because we didn’t have the funds on property to cover if there was a panic of customers wanting to withdraw.

I remember NEVER being SO proud of our country. All those people fighting to save each other. Fire fighters going into a burning skyscraper. KNOWING they will not come out. The police, the doctors, the regular you’s and me’s who did all they could to help. The empathy we all had for each other right after it happened.

And still 10 years our troops who sacrifice their lives, their time with their families to fight and keep me free. I thank them will all of my heart.

What will I do this Sunday?

I will be with my children all morning. Then the 4 of us will be going to the annual family reunion. Hoping to catch some of the Bears game too. We will be mourning the loss of our cousin, due to Cancer this winter. But enjoy our time with each other.

In honor of 9/11 I will never forget. I will pass along the story of that day to my children, and their children. I will never. forget.

9/11 Music Tribute by Chicago's B96 radio station

 

Feisty

A Day in Chicago with us.

Spaghetti is on Staycation this week. He had too much vacation days saved up at work and the way it goes, is he will lose them, so wonderful boss let him have the whole week off, counting his days off this gave us this last Monday through this coming up Tuesday off! Wee!

So after days full of vet visits (Sophie has an eye ulcer. Boo) and our 6 month dental check ups (yee.ha fun) we thought a day in the city would be fun…

 

We took the kids on the metra train, from a city about 20 minutes north of us, to Chicago. It was fun, and they had a blast posing for the camera (Hey Aerial, I think Alex is stealing your camera face!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We get up there and go on foot about 3 blocks to the ‘L’ (see this for more info on what the “L” is) I loved walking with the kids showing them the pigeons, a bird native to our busy city, not afraid of much. The kids got a big kick out of how close they could get to them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Headed down to the Jackson Street “L” train. The kids were NOT amused at all. We had to wait about 10 minutes for the next train, and it was warm down there, not as hot as the 93 degrees above ground, but not exactly air conditioned. This is their ‘unhappy where is the beach’ look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THEN we get on and they think differently of it. I told you it’d be fun-ner.

They LOVED that the ‘L’ went from underground to 2 stories above ground. Kinda crazy if you’ve never been on it. It sways, rocks, slams on brakes, speeds up, underground, above ground. Needless to say it’s an experience.

Took the “L” to Wrigleyville. An area Spaghetti and I both know well. I spend a day here each year, at the Pride Parade in June. Walking BLOCKS, with about half a million people.

And Spaghetti works here with his dad. Vending beer to Chicago Cubs fans on days when he can around his day job.

It was nice today, no game so it was quiet. Got a cute shot of the kids together in front of Wrigley Field, this is where their Grandpa Mc stand each game to sell programs.

We were hot and whiney already, so we headed over to my favorite place, Starbucks for a snack and some coffee.

After our break, we walked around to the side of Wrigley Field, they had the gates open for set up, Sir Paul McCartney is playing tonight and tomorrow.

That stand right there is where my Spaghetti stands, selling beer, pretzels, and peanuts. (tip your vendors!!)

We took the kids right across the street to the Wrigleyville #78 Fire Department so they could see the trucks and say hello to the guys.

We stopped over at the office, to pick up Spaghetti’s payroll check.

 

 

This must have exhausted the kids, because they ended up on our shoulders, yep nothing says fun like a tote bag full of food, 93 degrees in the shade, and a whiney 35 lb three year old on your shoulders!

 

We walked about 4 blocks to the bank. Weaky promptly took off his shoes, sunglasses and curled up under there. We enjoyed their comfy chairs, and full blast air conditioner for a few minutes.

BACK to the ‘L’ train. Now to Chicago Street…

 

Waited about 8 minutes for the #66 bus to take us to Navy Pier. Again whiney till they got on and saw how cool a BIG bus was.

Weird that the bus was so empty for a Friday afternoon… everyone at work?

The bus dropped us off RIGHT at Navy Pier (THE best place to go for fun if your visiting the Chi)

So we walked the park, very excited that the Ohio Street Beach was just a 1/2 block away.

Kids didn’t waste time jumping into the lake! Alex did this funny thing where he would lay on his tummy at the edge of the water, and push backwards into the surf. He LOVED Lake Michigan!

 

All those damn snacks and lunches I had been toting around with me for hours, paid off. We had sandwiches, brownies, granola bars, fruit twists, carrots with ranch dressing, and cheerio’s.

All under out beach tent. This thing was pretty easy to tote. With shoulder strap. It was so worth it though. Perfect shade and privacy for us.

 

I have to say the best part of the beach here is the mix of park and beach, RIGHT next to the skyline.

It’s just beautiful, enjoying the nature of Chicago with the BIG busy buildings and Lake Shore Drive.

 

 

 

 

 

Now I’m NOT a beach kinda person. I mean I love to go, but I SIT on the sand, I sweat my ass off, and enjoy people watching.

I did dip my feet in the water a bit. It was cool and wonderful!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best part of the day? Watching Spaghetti enjoy some time with his Weaky and Bagel. Now Spaghetti is ‘Scuba Steve’ to me. He’s scuba certified, LOVES all kinds of water. So very happy that he is, so HE can take the kids out there. And I can Momarazzi from the beach.

After HOURS of play on the beach, and enjoying our lunch. We packed up and walked over to Navy Pier to enjoy some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. It was nummy, and we were EXHAUSTED!

We had talked about it, looked at the train schedule and decided that we could make the 5:15 pm train back home, BUT money wise and time wise we decided that taking a cab would be easier for all of us.

 

I do think we took about every means possible to travel in Chicago this day. This is the kids in the cab. They were super excited, I swear they were. Minus the deer in head lights shot I got here.

 

 

 

 

 

So after a WHOLE lot of the BIG city…

Even bigger buildings…

We made it back to the train, climbed up to the second level of the metra train. Assuming the kids would PASS. OUT.

Nope. Weaky was high strung, wiggly and just wanted to do anything but sit on a train?! OMG we were SO tired…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bagel finally passed out on my lap and so I braided her hair to pass the time,

 

While Weaky continued to assault Spaghetti’s face. Let’s just say it was NOT fun

 

 

 

Finally I got Weaky to chill out in his own little space at the end of our row right next to me.

 

Started the day by leaving at 8:40 am, and home in the drive way at 6:23 pm. A VERY long day. LOTS and LOTS of adventures. TONS of pictures.

But after a crazy few weeks of fighting between Spaghetti and I, I have to say this really made us better.

It was a combo of having to work together, with the kids, and a big city. To really work at communicating, and realize that we were not in a hurry and to enjoy the day. Enjoy the staycation with the kids.

While posting this I texted him I was going through the pictures of this day, and I missed him. He’s at Wrigley right now, getting ready for Paul McCartney’s concert tonight. Best part, he sent me a text that said “I miss you”… we never text. And this may be the first love-ish one he’s ever sent me. I saved it.

Thanks for the memories Chicago. That’s why I love you so.

Feisty.

xo

Disgruntled.

So I BLOGGED for ever yesterday while out at Starbucks, AND… Window’s Live Writer was having issues. Went to post it today AND… it’s GONE. Assholes.

Either way I WILL post it later. Moving on.

Ummm… it’s hot? Like heat index of 115 today? Yesterday was 114 and the day before that was 110. Hot. And for South Chicago area we get hot, but holy shit. It’s hot.

Oh and the flash on my NEW, as in just got it for Christmas new, camera is out. No workie. Not cool. It’s just a little point and shoot but for a retail of $120 you’d think I’d get more then 7 months out of a flash? And NO I didn’t buy a warrantee.

I seriously GET when mom’s always say “I can’t WAIT for school to start” makes TOTAL sense now. These two are insane!

My Sophie is my baby and super spoiled, and sick. Sigh, I thought maybe she got sand in her eye, or dirt or something. But after FINALLY taking her to the vet after 4 days of her rubbing it, watery eyes, and squinting. Find out she has an ulcer in her right eye. NOW we are putting drops in 4x’s a day, and she’s got some meds for pain.

Doctor said it’s worse then having dirt under your contact lens! OMG that would suck!! Do this for a week and HOPE that she gets better if not we go see a dog Optometrist. Awesome.

Great news Weaky is for the most party 100% potty trained. Yep I haven’t wiped an ass for almost 3 weeks. At 3 years old, and 2 months he got it. Still has some accidents but otherwise we are GOOD. That deserves a party. No more diapers in my house. Again? No more diapers in my house. OMG. Who’s happy? Any person that has EVER wiped an ass.

Cleaning the loft, to avoid the dishes. I'm funny that way. I clean one room to avoid the obvious mess I have to do. Whatever. It’ll get done.

Enough babbly for now.

Oh one more thing. Weather you lurk or not, just let me know this… I’m asking again. Should I go public? I’ve gone back 2 years through my archives and not finding anything anyone would find offensive (I removed most of the ‘Fuck you Friday’ posts. They were babble and anger. Good for the moment but not for long time) opinions?

Happy Thursday…

Feisty

Let. It. Be.

 

I had a cousin. Her name was Jenna. She was 31 and died this last winter of brain cancer. She was brave. Always optimistic. Her mom, herself, and her sister all got matching tattoos that read ‘Let it be’ from the Beetles song.

Not saying they were big Beetles groupies, but they liked the idea behind the song, and to not sweat the small stuff.

They threw a party in Jenna’s memory, and at that party a friend made necklaces out of pop tops, with an image of a peach (Jenna’s nickname was Peaches) and it said ‘Let it be’ over it.

I wear it often, because lately I’ve had to channel my inner Jenna, to remind myself that life is to short to sweat the details, the childish behavior of some people, the petty fighting, the name calling. It’s all to much anymore.

My life is too short to fight over this. My energy is not worth the anxiety. My children don’t need me back in ‘ANGRY MOM’ mode. It’s just not fair.

I took this picture of myself last night. I was sitting on my parents fireplace ledge. I was happy to be celebrating my birthday, but mentally exhausted from the weeks before of all the drama around what is supposed to be the planning of a trip to the happiest place on earth.

I am strong. I am tired. I am done. I’m tired of insults. Of words that hurt. Of crushed souls. Of greed. Of hate. Of who’s side are you on?  I want to ‘Let it be’. In the words of Jenna, Carol and Tess… oh and the Beetles… can we please just ‘Let it be’

Feisty

Count down has ended.

Last July I blogged this post about having 363 Days left to go. Well D day for me is tomorrow… or tonight at midnight? Or at 8:20 am when I was born… needless to say it’s something dumb that's been haunting me for over 18 years now.

Now I’m not really one for hanging out with little kids, besides my own. So I thought this kid was some voodoo weirdo who cursed me or could see into the future. Needless to say when someone looks right into your eyes, speaks only in a whisper, and gives you the ‘creepy eyes’ and tells you EXACTLY when your going to die (well not exactly she said when I was 32, and I’ve got till 8:20 am tomorrow morning left) it sticks with you. YES I’ve had this in the back of my mind since I was 13. And in the front of my mind for the last few weeks.

So fast forward to last night I was with my family celebrating my birthday and my daughter, precious thing,

at the dear age of 5, grabs my face. Looks me in the eyes. And says all creepy like “Your going to die of a spider bite”…

Needless to say I’m officially freaked out because while walking in my mom’s garden last night this little spider walked onto my foot and bit me (I didn’t notice him till after he bit me. Then I looked down, saw him waving up at me and he ran off)

I swear this is some Alice in Wonderland shit. Either that little girl, and Mia are both crazy kids who can see my future, ORRRRRR…. kids like to fuck with people… well kids it worked… fingers crossed I’m here tomorrow!

Queen of Feisty

Black. White.

Doing a Photo Challenge, this was fun, and thanks to the challenge I am falling in love with FREE photo editing software from Picnik. My goodness is photo editing fun! So the challenge had to have B&W picture of one of my kids. People kids or fuzzy kids count.

Here is my Weaky Man, at the Fair, we stopped for a break and Queen had the camera and he was ALL up in her face! Love how he’s looking through the camera right to you.

Be sure to check out the wizard who came up with the challenge over at The Paper Momma

This is my first time reading her, found her on a comment from anther blogger commenting somewhere else… you get my point. Us bloggers are a fantastic community!

Enjoy your day!

Feisty

Junk in the trunk is an understatement.

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed…

Holy… shit… LOOK at my ass!! All I can do is laugh, I mean I’ve had an ass ALL my life, I’ve had a nice ass before I had boobs, I had Sir Mix a lot’s song dedicated to me at my wedding. Yep, I know it.

BUT… (pun intended) LOOK at that thing… my goodness… THAT is a big pink butt… oh and don’t normally look like I’m going out for jazzercise, it was the Chicago Pride Parade so I was dressed a bit more… jazzercise-ish…

Motivated to eat right? Work out? Sorta… or just drown myself in the box of mac & cheese…

Queen of Feisty

Less is more.

While making my bed (at 1 pm) I came up with some motivational thinking, that I wanted to remember…

* Less is more. It’s a famous quote. But in a de-cluttering kind of way it’s brilliant. Less stuff, less house work. Less house work, more time for other things. Not to say I waste my day away on house work. I do what I need to do, but at almost all times I have a messy room. As in NEEDS to be tended to room.

* Take the full bath for instance. It’s been repainted, to be simple. Black. White. Grey. Red is my pop of color. We do NOT need all that crap. I donated a TON of overstock products to Joplin families. And tossed what was crap (seriously when your perfumed lotions separate, it’s WAY over due!)

* If creating is your passion. You want to paint, draw, sketch, scrapbook, sew, paper Mache’… then you NEED to make the house work MUCH easier. Hence ‘Less. Is. More’

* Actually follow through with having the kids pick up after them selves. At the age of 5 and 3 they can both do some sort of picking up. Not always you. NOW to work on Spaghetti cleaning up after himself (I was pretty lenient on him since in the baseball season he works 3 jobs… well for the next 2 weeks he does)

* My newer rule is ‘Does it belong"?” As in I wear my sunglasses on top of my head, if I make it up stairs with them on my head they DO NOT get set down on the desk. The rule applies here because there is NO sunshine in the loft, so there is NO reason for sunglasses. I tell myself this with empty cups in any room but the kitchen, since THAT is the room you get the beverage from.

* In a way I’ve been flying at this for going on 3 years now. De-cluttering is SUCH a process, and when you’re a professional procrastinator like myself, then being a Flybaby is a LONG time commitment. See Flybaby Baby steps.

Now that my brain full of motivating ideas is dumped out to blogger land, I can go back to making my bed, and folding more clothes, or I will find some blog, or website I must check…

Feisty

21.71 miles.

We did it. HOLY shit.

I asked Spaghetti to go on a bike ride with me yesterday, it was about 90 degrees and we left at 11:50 am (I know GREAT time to head out for a bike ride in 90 degree heat right?)

So with the kids being at his parents, and we had NOTHING planned. We thought we’d make a day of this. Now kids free bike ride is awesome, there are some SUPER long trails by us, one being the I&M Canal Trail, goes from Chicago all the way to Seneca, and maybe even further. We usually stay around here, but a good hour of biking is fun.

He suggests we try something new. We go down the trail SOUTH west, and go a way we never went before. I know the towns around us, so sure lets go.

I just got a new bike tote, it’s a deep pouch, that held my 1 liter of water, and my little pouch that had my chap stick, sunblock, cell phone and inhaler in it.

We rode, and rode. The beginning part is horrible, I think next time, we should just go RIGHT for the trail, instead of taking a side road for 2 miles in direct sun (hardest part!)

Now 90 degrees is suck-tastic in direct sun, and here in south Chicago it’s humid as hell, think Florida humid. BUT down in the woods the temperature was about low 80’s so it was bearable.

We both said that we were proud that even though a small tree was down, we carried our bikes over instead of just going home. And when we saw the 5 mile marker for a state park, we decided to go for it. (even though we had just gone 6 miles already)

I drank the whole 1 liter on the way there, and at the park some kind people gave me a liter of water to take back with me. We took about 20 minutes total in breaks. (more me needing them then him)

The trip was an adventure. A great one. Of proud moments like that we kept going, we laughed, we talked, there was NO t.v. or internet between us. We had official “US time”

Along the way there were of coarse animals.

2 frogs. They hopped along in front of us.

2 cranes. One in the marsh nearby, one flew RIGHT over our heads.

1 beaver. Walked right in front of us.

1 doe. She was running towards us! She halted when she saw us, and ran down the path in front of us while we rode behind her!

12 hissing geese. Now we have a TON of geese around here. BUT when the path has a drop off one side, and water directly on the other and these geese (about 6 adults the rest smaller, probably born this spring) were in a space about the size of a minivan, they are NOT to be messed with.

They protect their young, and HISSED and flapped at us as we drove by, I was more concerned with them biting us and I’m not one to be swayed by animals. (except the hissing geese)

3 Racoon. 2 big, one baby, the baby was adorable just sitting along the path.

Like I said the beginning was tough, and so that meant the ending 2 miles was insane. We were hoping to be home by 3, and well full sun, at 3 pm was HARD. I didn’t give up.

I walked for a bit. But so did Spaghetti right before the 2 miles of sun is a HUGE super STEEP hill, and not sure I’ve seen anyone ride it. I had a hard time pushing my bike up (thanks to Spaghetti for coming back down and helping!)

So 3 pm was the goal? At 2:57pm we got to the trail about 2 blocks from out house, 2:58 close to the end of the trail, WE pushed hard and at 2:59:48 we were at the garage door!!

I staggered off my bike, into the house (HAD to PEE!!) into our swim suits and dove into our pool. Floated around for about 30 minutes, chatting about our adventure, guessing if we were over or under 17 miles, he took the under I said more then 18, I won! 21.71 miles total.

So it’s the day after, my legs and back are good, the thing that’s the sorest?! Not my butt (but close) my right wrist! I can go one handed and didn’t realize that I go left hand free, and all my weight was pushing on my right wrist for 3 hours!

Will we do it again? Yep. Hoping to bring some camping gear, and go 20 + miles one way, camp and head back the next day. Until then, I’ll just take it easy in the house!

Thanks for the adventure, the quality time, and memories Spaghetti. xo

Feisty

Featuring ME! 16 yr old notes.

I’d like to feature myself today. On my own blog? Weird I know, but I was looking for a past post from 2009, and came across one that I wrote that made me laugh, smile, cry and realize I can write well when I try hard. Or given the perfect prompt to post on.

Long story short, it’s a letter to my 16 year old self, and I do believe it’s one of my best posts to date! Let me know what you think. And feel free to share the idea of writing to your 16 year old self, just do me a favor and let me know if you do, I’d love to read it.

A letter to my 16 year old self…

I’d like to add on just one more thing though. Dear 16 year old self… LISTEN to your sister. RECORD your sister. TALK to your sister. She’ll still be with you 16 years later, but her voice will be gone, you’ve only got about a year left to HEAR her. But she’s still your Frances, just a much quieter version, due to what the doctors will tell you, and your parents (after another 6 years of searching for an answer) is Dystonia.

Queen of Feisty

A day full of independence

A day full of food…

A day full of family…

A day full of sunshine, and swimming…

 

A day full of laughter…

 

A day full of life…

A day full of smiles…

A day full of us… just being us… enjoying our life of smiles, laughter, silliness, food, and most important. Family.

Hoping you all had a wonderful 4th of July, celebrating our freedom.

Feisty