Count down has ended.

Last July I blogged this post about having 363 Days left to go. Well D day for me is tomorrow… or tonight at midnight? Or at 8:20 am when I was born… needless to say it’s something dumb that's been haunting me for over 18 years now.

Now I’m not really one for hanging out with little kids, besides my own. So I thought this kid was some voodoo weirdo who cursed me or could see into the future. Needless to say when someone looks right into your eyes, speaks only in a whisper, and gives you the ‘creepy eyes’ and tells you EXACTLY when your going to die (well not exactly she said when I was 32, and I’ve got till 8:20 am tomorrow morning left) it sticks with you. YES I’ve had this in the back of my mind since I was 13. And in the front of my mind for the last few weeks.

So fast forward to last night I was with my family celebrating my birthday and my daughter, precious thing,

at the dear age of 5, grabs my face. Looks me in the eyes. And says all creepy like “Your going to die of a spider bite”…

Needless to say I’m officially freaked out because while walking in my mom’s garden last night this little spider walked onto my foot and bit me (I didn’t notice him till after he bit me. Then I looked down, saw him waving up at me and he ran off)

I swear this is some Alice in Wonderland shit. Either that little girl, and Mia are both crazy kids who can see my future, ORRRRRR…. kids like to fuck with people… well kids it worked… fingers crossed I’m here tomorrow!

Queen of Feisty

J Town memories

Bagel took over our bed the other morning, made a HUGE circle of pillows and got snug as a bug. She’s quite adorable when she’s sleeping…

 

 

She finally caught me taking pictures, and said “scratch my back” we have a busy day just me and her.

Since we had the Snomaggeddonblizzardnadotsunami and they canceled her Jazz Lyrical class, we have a make up class. It’s at a different park district, not here in town. The city I grew up in.

 

She would NOT stop fighting with her brother, and good for us make up dance was on Tuesday, Spaghetti’s day off. So he stayed home with Weaky.

Since they were fighting we left early. I parked as far from the dance gym as possible, so we could walk and enjoy the whole place. I wanted her to see an ice rink in person.

She watches ice skating on t.v., and so what better then to feel the cold air, and see the ice.

Not thinking I would be flooded with memories, but how quickly I had forgotten that THIS ice rink is where my high school boyfriend taught me to skate, where my (still) good friend would D.J. on weekends, where SO many of my friends and I would hang out. It’s been about 16 years since I’ve been here last…

Bagel loved the bleachers, she got to touch the ice, and for the first time ever, NO one else was in there. Just her and I. After climbing the bleachers (3x’s) and touching the ice. She then grabs my hand doing the excited dance and says “Thanks for taking me to the ice house, this is nice, you and me”

 

 

Then we walked through to see the new addition, the fitness gym was above us, and looked amazing, but in the hall way below, outside of the indoor pool had the coolest furniture. Funky chairs, and this wavy bench that Bagel loved.

We finally made it to the ‘munchkin land’ as they call it. Where they have preschool, kindergarten and special classes for kids.

Bagel had a great time during the dance part of class. Miss Karen is awesome with the kids. The last 20 minutes is some sort of tumbling, or balance for the girls. This place had the COOLEST set up (according to the girls)

 

The climbed, jumped, rolled and hopped their way through this.

 

 

(roll like a crayon Miss Karen says!)

They also practiced summersaults. Bagel took tumbling when she was 3, so she knew the basics, I was exhausted watching them, they did SO many rounds of summersaults, I lost count!

What a fantastic day with Bagel and I, we spent the morning just us girls. Saw new things, old memories and made some new ones of our own!

Feisty

From the crapper

Yes today's post is litterly from the crapper. Not as in the bathroom, or the tub, but I am taking my morning dump and posting about it.

Why do I feel the need to share? Because in the last 4 days I have had the most magical thing happen to my house.

I mean technology this great hasn't graced our door in SO many years. We are talking about WiFi people.

This is one of those post my children will look back on and be like OMG, are you serious? You had to order a box, and set up WiFi? You didn't just have it everywhere? (which from what my little Comcast birdie told me is coming sooner then later, the airborne WiFi that is)

Yes children I had to order a special box, and plug it in, and set it up, and swear for an hour, and talk to 5 customer service idiots till I got the right one.

But now I can sit on my crapper and blog, I layed in bed last night and watch my beloved Big Brother 12 24/7 live feeds (save all that for another post) I layed in bed and checked my email, sat on the couch with my bestie Aerial and watched the 24/7 feeds (they consume my life for 3 months)

Bagel and Weaky lay in my bed while I fold laundry, and they watch free episodes of Dora, and Word World I found on iTunes.

I can have ABC's new vampire/werewolf/witch series The Gates (LOVE it) on and catch up on past episodes (watch it people you will LOVE it! Sunday nights on ABC!) All while making dinner.

I have to say since I am in the kitchen SO much my lappy toppy of love spends most of her day in the kitchen with me.

Oh and I did do the cool thing, and took her to Starbucks to use the free WiFi there, sigh... magical I tell you. Pure magic.

And speaking of technology around the house, I went to Tarjay yesterday and picked up two cordless phones. OMG SO necessary! We were down to one working phone in the loft (which is only used for speaker phone, I could add a cord to the handset, but I'm just to lazy) and one phone which is the Incredibles phone, (not kidding) but now we have 2 more fancy pantsy cordless phones. Which I have to wait 15 hours to charge...11:30 this morning I can use them!

I know we are techy geeks around here aren't we? Hey at least my cell has a QRTY keyboard so I can text, Spaghetti still has a flip phone, NO keyboard. I feel bad when he has to text! And I had internet on my cell, but really not necessary and we need the extra $$ right now.

And yes children there were cell phones that had keyboards and some that even DIDN'T I know amazing stuff right? Like when I tell you that growing up we had ONE phone in the house. Kitchen (kinda like now huh?) we had ONE line, and if you were cool enough you had your own phone line!

Cell phones? Nope. Not till the 90's and you had to have ALOT of money to have one, and they were HUGE, like 8 inches tall and about 3 inches thick.

Then when I was in H.S. we had pagers, too cool to have one. Your friends paged you when they wanted to talk to you and you then would call them. Sounds retarded now when I type it out. But damn it I was cool.

Then parents got a cell phone for the family. So when I would go out with my friends I could take it with to call home. And usually only one or two of us had a phone, so we had to share, and minutes were SO limited, you watched your friends like a hawk on the phone!

I finally got my first cell phone,

and I remember laughing at your dad, he had a "bag" phone

It was huge, about the size of a t.v. remote, it was a good idea, it was for emergencies, and he really only used it to call Gramma and Grampa Mc when he was going to stay out.

Plus we didn't have computers, the little catholic school I went to had about 8 BIG ol' Apple 2E's

and we all learned about floppy drives that held disks that were about 5 1/2 inches square.

NO internet. Yes I say NO internet. Snail mail was a big hit back then, and I'm not talking 200 years ago, I'm talking early 90's. Sigh, well kids thats enough Old Skool for you for now. I'm finally done pooping so I can stop typing now...

Corey Corner

Of coarse this is a sad post. A post about the loss of one of our Corey's.

Kid of the 80's? Then you knew them. My best friend and me, we both loved Corey Feldman. BIG puffy red hearted the guy. I had a corner of my room full of just Corey Feldman photo's I had taken from my teen beat magazines, and anywhere else I could get pictures.

I had the famous black hat, and wore it with pride. I knew all his movies, shows, comercials. But along with the love of one Corey, you had to love the other.

I always loved Corey Haim, not in the teenage I'm going to marry that guy, but in the respect that I was a big fan of his best friend, so he's got to be a good guy. Crazy thing is, I was just reminissing with my gradeschool friends about when we went to the theatre to see "Dream a Little Dream" and all the great memories we all had about them. Just days before Corey Haim passed away.

Corey Ian Haim was born in 1971, and sadly taken from us this week. I went to visit Corey Felman's website, to see if he had yet posted anything on it. I didn't expect to see anything right away. I can't imagine the pain and loss he is going through.

My heart goes out to Corey Felman, his family, and Corey Haim's family and friends. You are both a big part of my childhood, and growing up. I have never, not been a Corey fan. I will only carry on positive memories. Rest in peace Corey Haim, you will be missed.

Marble Street Memories.

I went on Twitter today. I saw that my sister Frances had Tweeted about some Youtube video. Her comment was "I used to live here" with the link.

Where could she have lived that had a Youtube video? I quickly followed the link to this...


If you knew me growing up, from 1978 to 1990, then you knew this was my house.

This was a wave of emotions that hit me. From the tree out front, that I  planted with a seed. The tree is a maple tree, and his name is Fuzzy. (when we moved to the next house I took a bit of that tree, and replanted there, to make Frizzy) to the windows where Carrots BIG home made Nativity scene would go, the front poarch where my mom's mom and me once stood.

The hall way where we would listen to my dad's stereo and records. The living room where the big tree would go. The bathroom where Frances got stuck in the laundry chute, the stair case in the wall (while doing some bathroom work my dad found a hidden staircase, from back when the house was 2 appartments) and where my mom knocked one of my loose toothes out!

The purple room, (it had DARK purple carpet) which was the toy room, and my mom's sewing room, where I first fell in love with crafts. Later it became my room, where I had a Corey Feldman corner and slept on silk sheets! I would dance on that bed to Debbie Gibson, and sing in my hairbrush.

I remember my friends Renee, and Maternal Mirth (yeah we go WAY back) over playing in there.

The kitchen still has the original faux brick walls, and cabinets too. My dad built that island for my mom. I miss the old floor in there. It was a fun red brick pattern.

There is a luvor door in the kitchen, it's a walk in pantry. I remember when my dad would get off his shift doing construction, coming into the house and smelling like dirt, oil and all things construction, he would take his belt and stick it through the cracks in the pantry door to play with our cat Shadow. The pantry was an L shape. I remember when my mom did NutraSystem and we had ALL that food from them in there!! My dad told me that when the old house was here, there was a stair case that went straight down to the basement.

The dining room was built by my dad too. It was once a small room, and there was bifold doors there to go out. But my dad opened it all up and him and my moms brother (the shit head) put those windows in. (one window fell on my Uncle. (good)

I remember the heat vent in the floor between the edge of the kitchen into the dining room. I would stand there in my tights, before school, knowing we had to walk 2 blocks in the snow.

I remember that dining room. I remember sitting in the windows watching the rain. I remember Easters, Father Days, Mother's Day... I remember her voice. I remember MY Frances from when we were kids. I remember her telling mom I love you over and over and over and over again. I remember her calling me Gack.

I remember those stairs, that's where we left our boots for St. Nick. Up in the loft area my dad had his desk. My mom bought him the desk for father's day one year. From a store called Naked Furniture. She stained the big roll top desk herself.

If you go down the stairs, there was a landing, it had shelves where my mom kept all her canned applesauce (I big puffy red heart applesauce and still do eat it almost everyday) and tomatoes. We had an apple tree out back. Off that landing you could go outside, or to a small door (which was PERFECT for kids) to a crawlspace under the dining room. My parents kept their 2 liters of pop there. And our folding chairs for summer. You could look out a funny vent to the back deck.

If you went back to the landing, you could go down some more stairs to the basement. There was a door their, with stained glass, and my dad had a sign (which I now have on my back door) it reads "Come on in. My day was ruined anyway" with a man in a cauldrin.

I remember when it was around Christmas and Dad wouldn't let us in the basement because he was working on something. He kinda gave it away when he "borrowed" a barbie doll. But we were still shocked to see 3 story barbie houses. One for each of us. (I still have them. But they do need to be flipped. They were well loved. Do you remember those houses Maternal Mirth? Pimpster D Mudd?)

The basement held the washer and dryer, it had a coat area, with cabinets. I remember when I was young I helped my dad smooth part of the concrete floor he was working on. This is the first project I remember working with him on.

He had a LONG work space down there, and off there was another room. We called it the Holiday room. It stored ALL the holiday decorations, and the litter boxes.

We had the back section for some storage, and then for our toys too. We had the best kitchen area to play in. All our friends loved it. When it was winter we would ride our big wheels around it. And my mom the Queen would play stop. go as she did laundry. I remember the floor was uneven, and there was a ramp down from my dad's workspace. It was fun.

If you went outside, my dad built a roof over the concrete deck. We had a playhouse. Made of plywood and it was painted black. I would eat cottage cheese and applesauce out there with my cousin Matt. It had an upstairs, and apples would fall on the roof. Next to it was our swing set. Erica my neigbor friend and I would make up routines and write them down (I still have that list)

Our yard was long and skinny. I remember the tiger lilies all along the side, the garden my mom had next to the car port. Ah the car port. It housed the Nova. And the shed! I remember my mom and dad moving the shed. It was a little metel one. They went inside and picked it up and walked it down the yard. My dad's truck "Chuck" was parked behind there. We grew strawberries on that side.

In the back was an alley. And Fetz street one of the smallest streets around. 2 houses only! One that caught on fire alot.

In the alley, Frances and I would play in the gravel after the rain. It made big puddles. We would make little paper boats, and sink them with rocks. I can hear her voice again...

I remember my dad built a garbage can area. Like a mini deck for them. I remember thinking how great of drivers my parents were because of how you had to to pull in, back up, then in again. We were at the dead end of the alley.

I remember my dad letting me ride in the front seat of his truck to go to work with him. He would drive me around to the front and I would get out and run to my mom. I loved when my dad came home, I would race down the little sidewalk to greet him.

On the side of the house, well one side had Chic (not sure if that was his real name, he was big and scary and looked like he ate children for snacks) then his son Gregg lived there too. He was nice. There house was originally green, and it was SO close to our house you could almost touch it. (about 2 feet apart)

The other side had a big brick apartment building. With 3 apartments. All with BIG decks out back, and out front. And a big yard too. Mary and Loyd lived on the top. They were great. I don't remember seeing Mary in anything but a big house dress. She let me sit on her swing and visit with her. We could see them from the loft room in our house.

I remember Maime. She lived alone, and was nice too. The other place was rented out on and off, once by actor who did comercials. He was nice too.

Along the house there was a Silver Maple tree, which is HUGE now, bigger then the house, and a pussy willow tree too, they are SO big! Frances used to play with her barbies in that tree. Along the house we had these buttercup flowers. With rail road ties along the front of them. I would have my Jacki and Katie dolls play in there.

I remember the evergreens out front, and the big garden spider I would write books about, on the type writer. I remember sitting on that porch with my friends from the block. Jimmy, and his sister Olivia, Erica and her sister Lauren and brother Jay. Mel, and the Mutz girls. Sometimes Emily too.

I remember when Maternal Mirth's mom was seeing this guy, who lived a few doors down from us. Her mom married that guy. They live somewhere warm and sunny now. They are great people.

If you go back into the house, and off the loft area there is a stair case (which once had a big white statue, at the bottom of the stairs and on my first Communion I had on slippery white shoes, I fell down the stairs, sprained my wrist and broke the head off the statue. (I was so nervous because I had been chosen my Sister Celine to carry the gifts up durring OUR Communion! I still did, brace and all!)

At the top of the stairs was a window, then a door. That room was where me and Frances had our bunk beds. A big closet full of toys, and a 1/2 bathroom was there too. That half bath had a drawer FULL of little girl hair ties, and if you pulled the drawer out to far you would have hair ties ALL over the place! And you would have to resort them! At the end of the bathroom was some shelves that my dad made sliding doors for. My mom stuffed it SO full of towels that the doors often came off the track.

I remember one time, my mom was outside in her garden, and I thought it was a great idea to open the window. And for me and Frances to go out onto the flat roof with our Barbies in their car. My neighbor saw us because she was on her third level swing, and yelled to my mom. For some reason they thought it was scary that the 7 year old was sitting on the edge of the 2nd story roof. My sister wisely sat back by the house. (No barbies were injured in this story)

That room was where I had a nightmare after watching Thriller for the first time. I dreamed that all the monsters were coming up the stairs. I remember the red picture that my mom would fill our humidafier with when it got dry in the winter. I remember the Queen and Carrots room. My dad built shelves around the windows, and the long closet along the wall. He also built a small room for my mom to sew in when I took over the purple room.

I remember when we were told we were moving. I remembered my sister getting pissed. She LOVED Marble street, and we cried to have to leave all our friends. I remember moving day. And the guy who stuck his head in the freezer, because it was so hot. The day was my parents wedding annivesary.

I remember our cat Shadow getting scared and hiding above the duct work in the basement ceiling. Her and Frances both wanted to stay. I remember my parents used my friend Jenny M's parents big van to move, our truck and nova, and my cousins horse trailers (they promised they were clean!)

I remember SO much from that house, it was my first 13 years of life. I remember a happy family of 4 who is still as close as they were back then. I loved this video, and the memories it broght back. Thanks for going back in time with me.

Thanks for askin.

(a picture of a picture. I know it's fuzzy, but this was before digital cameras and was 1999)



Once upon a time...
I fell in love. Hard and fast.
This guy he listened.
He remembered my LONG stories.
He like my silly self.
He thought I was beautiful.





I would say
"I'm falling in love with you"
but he would say
"Maybe someday you'll catch up"
he was always telling me
that he was the lucky one.





We both had other relationships at the beginning.
He was just dating a girl we worked with.
I was in a serious one with my H.S. sweetheart.
It only took a few early morning breakfast dates
(after graveyard shift together)
and seeing the other girls at work look at him,
and bet who would date him next.


My relationship with my current boyfriend was frustrating.
And I realized that Spaghetti needed to be with me.
I had a strong feeling that he had liked me for months.
And when he dumped his girlfriend,
the day he found out I left my boyfriend.
It was obvious to us both.





Standing on my parents front porch one night
(May 29th 1999)
I asked Spaghetti what he wanted from our friendship.
He said "I want you to be happy"
I said "You make me happy"
And so on that day we began dating.





Our one month anniversary we went to a fancy Italian restaurant.
And a 2 night 3 day adventure
to a nice little indoor water park in Wisconsin.
We were smitten.



One night in August I had a dream.
I dreamed that Spaghetti had asked me to marry him.
I told him of my dream.
He said "So what was your answer?"
I said ask me the question.
And find out.
(that became a joke, that everyone knew)





I thought I was being pushy.
I thought he would think he was a rebound boyfriend.
I was madly in love with him.





October came.
Our 5 month anniversary.
October 29th 1999.
We had a busy day planned.
We went to the Round Barn pumpkin Farm.
Then we went to the Chicago Wolves Hockey Game.



While at the game,
right at the second period,
and right before the second buzzer,
you said to me...
"What's your answer?"
I said as I had for months
"What's your question?"





Spaghetti pointed up to the
huge marquee above the ice rink.
It read...
"Queen of Feisty will you marry me?"

All I could think was

Holy shit. That is MY name.

Then I quickly turned to him to see him down on one knee.

Ring in box, anxious look on his face.

I was crying and all I could do was hug him

and say "Yes. Yes. Yes"

The people around us realized what had just happened,

the congratulated us.

I just stared at the ring.

A few minutes later, Spaghetti said he had a surprise

Walking down the steps to our seat was

my mom, sister, my mom's best friend

Spaghetti's mom and dad.

(Carrots, my dad had to work)

They watched the whole thing

from across the rink,

and they got it all on video!

We were married

June 16th 2001.

I was almost 23. He was 25.

I look back and freak out at how young we were.

But I knew then in my heart that I wanted to be with you forever.

I wanted nothing more then to spend

my life with you.

I am excited that our life is the way it is.

We are blessed with a great family,

supportive parents,

a house to call our own,

two beautiful kids,

and friends from all the milestones in our life.

So now I often say...

"Thanks for asking."

I big puffy, shiny, glittery, red heart you.

Read me a bear story

I was tucking Bagel into bed tonight, and she was thanking me for cleaning her room. I am surprised she noticed. It makes me happy that she is grateful.


As she lays in bed, we sing the "SKINNAMARINK" song from the Elephant show (1980's) then we go at a few rounds of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Then she wants to read a Bernstein Bear book, I am beat, and those damn Dr. Seuss books are LONG. So I ask her to read to me. (we had already read "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" AND "Green Eggs and Ham" today)


As Bagel reads her story, which means on each page, she tells me what the picture means to her, I listen and I think of days when I lived on Marble street. When I would lay in my top bunk bed, and as I read my books, on my Rainbow Brite sheets, with my kitten Punkie right next to me (yes he would climb the bunk ladder) I could hear, my sister, Francis, below me reading.


Not words though. Because this was before she could read. But we always went to bed with a stack of books. She would make up the story as she saw it on the pages. Sometimes a simple short story lasted 20 minutes because of Francis' imagination.


I miss those days. Of hearing Francis that is. Oh don't worry, if your reading this for the first time. She is alive and well a ripe 28 years old. But because of her muscle disorder, Dystonia, I haven't heard her speak in over 15 years. Be sure to read my "One Twisted Story" post explaining.


It's just sometimes, when I am doing things with the kids. I totally go back in time, I can see my mom doing the same thing with us. It's a great way to bring back memories of so long ago.

Real it in! A trip back in time

I want to start telling old stories. Like ones from before this blog. Or before Blogging. Or before the Internet for that matter.

I want to be able to capture some fun memories, or stories that I remember. I hope you enjoy!


While eating at Giordano's Pizza for my 31st birthday, Great Grampa M came along, and while Grampa Mc was talking about fishing, this story came up...


On one of the many trips to Michigan that Spaghetti and his family would take. There was always fishing on the pier. As he fished with his dad (Grampa Mc) they kept noticing this big plop in the water, where a BIG fish was jumping...

"Real it in! Real it in!" Grampa Mc would yell to Spaghetti. But nothing was on the line every time...

After a few times of this, laughter broke out, and they looked over there shoulder to see Great Grampa M holding a big rock. Now realizing that he was tossing in rocks!

It was great to hear the story, and it was great to see Spaghetti's family with such great memories. I am hoping to capture more.

Brownie

The year was 1987.

I was in 4th grade.

A Brownie.

This is my old street.

And this is my best friend.

My sister.

Frances.

Erase the pages

Totally random Old School post. This memory was brought on when I was doing a Suduko puzzle in the paper, erased a number and noticed I erased one of the lines. Which then sprouted this story...


Back as far as I could remember I have hated math. More then a few minutes into the lesson and I just could.not.get.it. Nothing. I hated even more to have to go home to my dad and have him yell, scream, pound, the lessons into my head.


Anything more then adding, subtracting, multiplying, division and fractions was just to much for me. I didn't get it. I didn't want to get it.


I must say the only break I did get was when we would do measuring and shapes. That was cool, I was good at it. (and thank god, because in arts and crafts you do ALOT of measuring)


So to get back at the evil bastard that invented Gee-I'm-a-tree, Algebra, I hated the missing letter math, the math where over half the damn equation was missing and you had to fill it in. Because in all my jobs as a cashier, banker, teller, cook, kennel cleaner, and SAHM I have yet to be missing out because of my lack of math knowledge.


(Sure I'm not a doctor, or a lawyer, or even a NASAteer, but please tell me why, oh why do I need math outside of the basics? Because one day I am sure to be at the grocery store and say damn, I can't figure out the root of pie, and the square of this box of mac and cheese? Riiight)


Anywho, back to the evil plan.
And it was a good one.
No one ever suspected it was me.
I never had to pay more for my books...

I erased the page numbers.


Not all of them. Bunches. In a row, so lets say you open a book. The pages are numbered... but! maybe pages 23-38 are gone... then 82-86 are gone... when I was really pissed I would just erase the problems.


Not a good kid at all. I am sure some kid got in trouble because he SWORE the math problem was 12x2 and not 12x12, or maybe I just erased parts of the word problem... OH those word problems!!


Not the other subjects though. I didn't mind history, or spelling (even though I can't spell and my grammar blows) not even religion. It was all good. But not. the. math.


How bout you? Anything evil in school?

Found: One missing best friend from 1989

Here we have myself (center) and my two closest friends from grade school. We three were the best of friends growing up. From sleep overs, to birthdays we've been thought it all. Now all through H.S. and into our collage years we were not as close, still friends but busy with our own lives.



Years later, as we all got married, had kids and turned 30 together. We have bonded and rekindled that friendship we once loved.

Now don't get me wrong having Maternal Mirth (above) as one of your closest friends, and D. Mudd Pimpster (below, with Maternal Mirth hung over at her surprise 30th in the background) is the best ever. But something was missing... that one skinny, funny, wacky dark haired girl. The one that left in the 5th grade. The one person that got me way before I even got me. She moved to another town, not to far away. But the distance and life kept us all apart. Till one winter day, February 11th 2009 to be exact.

I received an email from someone I didn't know. Thought about deleting it. (I am still getting a ton of spam) but I thought I would open it anyway. It was from Renee. I about died. Let me tell you, short of stalking, I have looked high and low for this girl. Not knowing her married name, or the city she had moved to made it hard.

She found my sister on Facebook, and found all of us too. D. Mudd Pimpster and I are looking for a day (when I am free of the flu) where we can (kid free) have a nice long dinner with Renee, full of hugs and laughter and old memories. We have SO much to catch up on. Maybe we can conference call to Maternal Mirth in LaLa land.

So now the 3 that once was a 4. Is now back to the 4 it once was 20 years ago!

The Wedding.

I parked in front of the HUGE cathedral church, slightly anxious. I was dressed nice, (not in my party dress) hair cute, sucked it in and got out of the truck (I went alone because Spaghetti, my work horse, was at work)

I walked in looking for a friendly face, and I saw Molly. The grooms twin sister, whom I was friends with in H.S. we talked for about 10 minutes.

Then I moved on to the usher, a mutual friend of mine and AM's, a big huge made my anxiety almost gone! He sat me by myself, closer to the back. I wanted her to see me when she walked down the isle, but I didn't want to be to close to the front.

As I sat, one of the bridesmaids, L waved and gave a big smile. I smiled my warmest smile, and waved back. As I sat for only a minute, I was greeted by another mutual friend, A, she too has befriended the bride on and off again, I see that since she is sitting next to me. She is off again.
I met her husband Edward, and I felt a squeeze on my shoulder.

One of the guys that I have know for 10 years, a friend of mine and my husbands, and a groomsman in my wedding. Brian. I was happy to be with old friends. All worries of tenseness, and bitter feelings were gone.

As I sat and we chatted, shared pictures, the wedding started.

A.J., AM's 10 year old son, was when I lost it. He was so handsome, nervous, and just wanted to be down that isle! I cried, I remember him as a baby. I smiled at Molly as she came down the isle. And when the wedding march came on the tears just rolled down my face.

AM and M deserve this day. This is a day that they have gone back and forth on, she would have been married 8 years ago with kids all over the place, but he wanted to wait. She waited.

So her it is. Her big day. She was so beautiful in her dress, she was happy, and trying not to cry. I don't think seeing tears streaming down my face helped her at all.

The ceremony was long, but what Roman Catholic wedding isn't? Afterwards I went up and said hello to the musician. She was my music teacher in H.S. and remembered me as soon as I walked up. We chatted, and I missed the chance to say hello to the new bride and groom, they were already doing pictures.

But I waved, and told them I would see them tonight. Spaghetti is so tired, he worked all day and all night yesterday, he worked all day today, and tonight after the reception, then again all day tomorrow. Sigh. He needs to slow down.

But I am looking forward to a long overdue reception. I will post again on the details.

Saturdays Secret. I hated myself.

For the longest time, I hated myself. I was never good enough to hang out with the cool kids at school (I went to a small private Catholic school) I was made fun of for my lack of puberty (didn't hit it till I was 14!) None of the boys liked me, I had friends. But the "cool kids" reminded you that you weren't pretty or good enough. I hated myself, my yellow hair, my white eyelashes (no make up at a Catholic school!) flat chested, dork. My friends at least had boobs, and darker eyelashes. I was the little 4'9" albino freak.

I spent the next few years of H.S. realizing that there were the pretty and perfect (on the outside) group. But enough of us average people, that I had friends that were like me. Average, but they still thought I was weird too. The whole crazy sock thing, artsy, doodly, craft me.
Let's not forget my one friend. Someone who is still to date the best artist I know. She was artsy, crafty, creative. And she was just her. That was it. Nobody could change Nikki. Nobody. She amazed me that she never tried to be like anyone else. I was myself, most of the time. I had a boyfriend, who just didn't like my creative artsy side. And so I pretended to be more preppy then anything.

That was until I was a Jr. in H.S. I went on a trip with my church youth group. We were gone on a 4 day retreat. There were these freshman girls, who were pretty, funny, and just fell all over me. They really liked me and the crazy thing was I was me. The whole time. I was loud, artsy, singing, funny me. And they liked me. The looked up to me. It was crazy.

From then on I took a good look at myself and realized that I need to surround myself with people that get me. No I mean get me, and don't judge me later. After H.S. I went on to Jr. College and when that didn't last, I found a full time job.

I was still with the boyfriend. But even though he loved me, he just never gave me the attention I needed. He told me I said "I love you" to much. He said I wanted to many hugs, and that I talked to much about my friends and people that he didn't care about. It made me sad. But I stayed with him, because I didn't know anything better.

At this full time job, my life changed. I was on a night shift, working with this really angry red head. Holy cow she had lots of curly red hair, and a temper to go with it. But funny thing is, we had a common anger towards co-workers that just were to slow, and ass hole customers.

Then we got a new guy on our shift, he was shy, polite, and a collage graduate. Probably the first collage graduate that ever spoke to me (he was 2 years older then me) he had dark hair, and was tall. Very handsome, he joined right in on our sarcastic rants about others. Trying to be polite all the time.

This red head and I exchanged phone numbers and quickly became friends. Working 12 hour shifts made us really close, and at the time I seemed to go through things and then she would soon after. It was like we could compare life notes.

That new guy became a friend too. But I realized as I told him stories, we needed more time to talk. So we would go to breakfast after night shift. We would sit there for 6 or 8 hours, watching waitresses come and go, switching shifts.

We talked of friends, family, stories, and what we wanted in our own futures. I realized in just a few months of these "breakfast hangouts" that I needed to leave the security of my boyfriend. The one guy that had stood by me since I was 16 years old. But I needed to move on. I couldn't leave him hanging. and new guy is very liked by a few of the single girls we work with.

I did. I left my boyfriend, it hurt. A lot. It hurt more to see him so sad. He cried, and wanted me to come back. Just like I did all those times he broke up with me over 4 1/2 years. I just couldn't. There was something too good with this new guy.

I begged new guy not to hurt me. I was making a big change in my life, and I needed to be sure I wasn't leaving someone for a few months of dating. Well new guy and I dated for only 5 months.

Then he asked me to marry him. 20 months later I married him. That was the best day. When Spaghetti and I became one team. But lets not forget the angry red head. Yep, she was standing right up there with us.

Aerial and Spaghetti taught me that there are people out there that will love you for you. It takes time. It takes work. And I have always had the motto to be happy with what I do. From friends to work, to life. I need people to make me happy.

Aerial gets me. She is a lot like me in ways. We are both loud, bold, straight forward, social, but we enjoy our own time. Stand up for ourselves and our family. We have learned and grown from knowing each other. I don't think she thought she was as arty as she is, until I taught her to play with paper mache' and stamps. I don't know what my life would be if I didn't find that one person who gets me. I appreciate her.

Spaghetti respects me. As much as he is a conservative, he is funny, and I think I have taught him to loosen up, and not worry so much about other people. He loves me unconditionally, and I think so far as parents we work very well together. He works hard for this family, and is a big mamma's boy. I love him for his love for his family. And his want to put family first.

My family has always been my cheerleader, teaching me that I can be funny, outgoing, artsy, crafty and just a book loving girl that I am. And even thought that means the world to me. Having two strangers get me. And love me for me. Well that is something else to me.

I have made so many friends in the past 30 years. I must say the first few friends in my life, Mud and Chandler. And the last two friends, Aerial and Spaghetti, before my life changed. Those 4 get me. And they love me.

This is what made me. Me. When you don't think you mean something to someone. Realize what you have done to change there life. What your voice and opinion has impacted on me. You four. You get me. I welcome new friends all the time, but the core group that are my biggest supporters. You rock.

And with that, my self esteem was built, from the Freshman at that trip, to the people that make my life. To the family that always got me. Thank you.

I love myself.

NKOTB or Bust.

Here we are. Again. MnM, Feisty and Mud. We three did this same concert, 20 years ago. This one included tears of laughter, and of happiness that it was really happening.

NKOTB was really right there, and we were really all right there. Together again. Parting like it was 1988.
While MnM was starting a fight in the bathroom, Mud and I posed for a cute picture, but it quickly reminded us of gradeschool, with the whole brick wall and everything behind us.

I must point out, that all while LZ looks very happy to be here, if she only knew the sheer, and utter excitement on the face of her bestest friend behind her. Mud was just a wee bit elated. And no not drunk.

On that note, Mud also took my camera away from me, and wanted to document again how this was the best day of her life, well not better then the birth of her daughter. But she did call her husband and told him it was better then there wedding day. I have to say since I witnessed both, the wedding day, and this concert. I did not see this look at all on Mudds big day to Mr. R.
Yes this would be me. Feisty, rocking my mahawk, Joe and Jordan pins, Joe earings, and no I did not have a t-shirt, so I just cut holes in my 20 year old pillow case. I know. It's hot.
Her is LZ and Mudd. Who I must say looked very festive in her Amusement park made, t-shirt, of her and Donnie (with the words "he's mine" under it) also her Donnie heart necklace, and New Kids on the Block earings.
Mudd and Me... my god I wore a pillow case...
Myself rockin' the case. And the ultra cool and hip MnM eating her popcorn, and her beer (I do believe at that point you were on #5) You said something about numbing the opening acts. See MnM has gone astray from the ever so awesome Pop Music, and so she only wanted NKOTB, so beer was the solution to her happiness. And well to ours also.

Mind you MnM you were fun before the beer, but I agree you were way more fun after about 6 or 7 beers. But mind you I told you NOT to pull forward in the drive through until you check your bag. Damn it, they always fuck you in the drive through. And what do you do? Pull forward so I can check the bag... I don't get it. I mean they did screw up, forgot Mud's fries and I had to go in. So if we would have stayed in the window, we could have just told them. Who gives a fuck about the wankers behind us? Bah. Well now that I have that off my chest, thanks for letting us use the rent a car to get us there.

Mud, thanks for getting us the tickets, AWESOME job on the seats. As always it's fun to hang out. And LZ you were awesome to put up with our pillowcase wearing ways, and screaming our lungs off.

As always ladies it was a blast, I froze as many memories as I could in my head. And I thank you again for giving me the best memories at one of the best concerts. Much love.

Just like it was 1988 all over again.

You scream, I scream, we all scream for New Kids On The Block. Yes there was 3 ten year old girls that went to the New Kids On The Block concert, it was end of summer 1988.

Fast forward 20 years (oh god, did I just say, 20 YEARS! Ack!) and here we are again. Feisty, MnM and Mud (girl scout story) all over again. We also brought along Muds friend, LZ, who very nicely put up with us and our crazy antics all night. (thank you.)

We arrived, MnM couldn't wait to get to the nearest beer stand, because unlike Mud and I, she no longer loves herself some good pop music. Ever since the grunge came and took her away. (she was just there for the memories and the beer) she needed to numb herself through the opening acts that she had little or no idea of who they were.

Props to both the opening acts, I loved them. Took me a minute to remember the first guy, you might not know him by name, Colby O' Donis, but his song "What You Got" is featuring Akon, and is on the top 40 hip hop and pop charts. AWESOME!

Then the ever so beautiful and talented Natasha Beddingfield came out! I loved it! I am a fan, so on top of the bestest friends, the memories, the NKOTB I also got two awesome opening acts too!

I will just post all the pictures here. And comment below each... some pictures deserve there own posts, and will be saved for just that. (yes my dears, stop stalking me for the pictures, it is 12:53 am and I am editing, cropping, and we all know red eye removing from every one of my shots) Enjoy...

The opening of there show, they come up from the top stage floor... it was deafing in there.
A.MAZ.ING.

Jon and brother Jordan Knight, on the side stage by us!

Donnie and Jordan on side stage, with some back up dancersJoe did a solo song, he has his own album out too.

Love it!!

Not that Jordan didn't have my attention with his solo (also an album out) but when he did it with his shirt open and the wind blowing it...my life is complete...

This is Mud's freebee, I will explain in another post, all hail to Donnie.

Half way through the show they appear on this mini round stage in the middle of the floor audience. Just big enough for them, and a piano. One of my favorite moments, they did Tonight, Tonight out there.

And right before they left they came over and said good bye to me. (and some of the other people around me... I guess...)

Final bow, after they finished off the show, with the first encore being Step by Step, and then back out for the ever so wonderful Hangin' Tough. I loved every memory making moment. It was SO fun, and the show was amazing.

I will be doing a separate post on all of our asinine pictures of ourselves.

Old school memories on hold!

Yes I will blog, brag, cry, remember, all the amazing memories of Saturday night... I just need my camera and my computer to cooperate with each other. At the moment they are not speaking to each other...

Soooo, my beloved pictures are trapped. I will be driving to a store, in the next few hours, print, copy, and burn what I want. All while chugging my beloved coffee...

I swear I will post them... oh and it was very short lived the whole, "no picture thing" on here. I talked with the police and the Post office, and right now it's more of "mischievous behavior" but that is all.

Until I am paying for things, or someone is using my name to buy things, then it is a police matter. For now it's just a pain in my ass. Hope it will be over soon.

So stay tuned, for pictures of friends Hangin' Tough, Tonight, Tonight, at the end of the Summertime, hoping for one last memory of the Right Stuff...