A day full of food…
A day full of family…
A day full of sunshine, and swimming…
A day full of laughter…
A day full of life…
A day full of smiles…
A day full of us… just being us… enjoying our life of smiles, laughter, silliness, food, and most important. Family.
Hoping you all had a wonderful 4th of July, celebrating our freedom.
Feisty
My good friend posted on this, and well who doesn’t want a free iPad2… yeah, I said iPad2. Check out Uppercase Woman’s post all about her eye sight, and how you too could win. This fantastic company called Buymorecontacts.com is giving it away. No shit these contests are that easy. Plus I’ll be Tweeting about it too at @Queen_of_Feisty. Hoping she will pick me!!
Queen of Feisty
Wiggle, wiggle, butt shake, licklicklicklick,
(that’s hello in dog if you didn’t know.)
I’m your guest blogger for today, I have blogged a few times before. But that was SO long ago, and I babbled on and on, and mostly had pictures. This one I referred to myself as skinny shit, and my sister as meatloaf?
Then on this guest post I just talked about the weather, and where I sleep. Exciting I know.
Don’t worry I keep posting with pictures, just a bit less rambly this time… maybe.
Up to date about me? Well in the above pictures I wasn’t me. Well I was me, but a stressed out, worried, and depressed me. See my sister Maggie was super sick,
and I didn’t know what was going on with her. I was scared, and always around her.
I mean I didn’t understand why she would just sleep and pee. We are GOOD girls and NEVER pee in the house, so this is what scared all of us. Mommy and Daddy were worried about her, and found out later that she had throat cancer. So now my big sister, is in a place mommy said is ‘Dog Heaven’ she even has a book on it (thanks again to the Quigs Family) The book talks about how she is safe, and feels good again and will play and wait for me to come see her. Then we will wait for mom and dad together on the ‘Rainbow Bridge’
Mom said it best the other day. There was a HUGE rainbow outside, and when Bagel asked “where do rainbows come from'” Mom said “That rainbow is from Maggie. She' just wanted to say ‘Hello’ from the Rainbow Bridge”
Every day is getting better. Nights are hard. I have to sleep alone now. Even if Maggie was scared, we could be scared together. It’s SO crazy, I mean the last post I did here I slept in the basement, and now (mom calls it the ‘dynamics of the house’) it’s all changed. The very ‘adult human fun room’ is now a
‘Family Room’ which means our couches and the tv that dad loves are ALL in this room.
So we don’t have to go down to the basement. I’m not even allowed! I try a few times but the cats beat me when I do go down there. And now I’m out numbered!
So now with out Maggie here, I get to do so many things we didn’t before. I sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed. Not at night, just sometimes. This was when Mom was folding clothes, and she said “OMG, I need my camera (she should just tie it around her neck) you are SO CUTE!!”
I go for more walks, I get to go to Queen and Carrots house, and play in their BIG back yard, mom even took me to the Farmers Market. There were lots of people, and I was nervous. But they were nice. Geez, Maggie wanted to do that stuff ALL the time!
So we went from the two of us, every day on our BIG recliners, our system, our routine, our life. And then all of a sudden Maggie gets sick, and Mom and Dad move the couches upstairs, and all the toys down, take down the baby gates that have been up for 5 years. It’s all changed.
I went from having SO limited space, to being able to go ANYWHERE in the house that I want. I think Mom is trying to make it easier on me, and help me cope with the loss of Maggie. And at the same time it helps her cope by having me all over with her.
It’s not always sad. Like I said before it is getting better. Mom says we will never forget, we just need time. She said Maggie took such a big piece of our hearts with her when she left. Makes sense, because it sure does hurt a lot.
But good things are happening. We spend more time in the yard together. (check out my silly face here!)
OH I can have bones again! BIG deal! Maggie and I fought, SO many times over food, and bones. That we couldn’t have them. Now I can. (I’d trade them to have my sister back though)
And seriously I think I’m in the running for MOST pictures taken this summer! My goodness that woman likes to take my picture. She says “Cuz I wuv you my Sophie wophie” whatever that means.
So that’s what’s new with me.
I miss Maggie. My heart is sad. But getting better.
Snuggling in bed, or when mom naps with me on the couch is good.
Sunshine is always a good way to start my days. And the kids seem to enjoy just having me around.
It’s different here. But it’s getting to be a good different.
Enjoy some belly rubs in dog heaven for me Maggie, I sure as hell do miss you. I owe you kisses, barks, and for old times sake you can chase me till I only run on my front legs when I see you again.
Wiggles, and kisses,
Sophie MaLophie Mc
(yes, Mom thinks it funny to dress me up… ahem. That was Maggie’s thing to tolerate… not me!)
This post is from my heart about my feet.
I swear it will make sense…
I go barefoot. A LOT of the time. I dislike socks (but when I have to wear them, and living south Chicago makes you do that almost 1/2 the year, I wear funky bright, fun ones) for that matter I dislike shoes.
My point, before I go off into a tailspin of details on my shoes/slippers/boots shoe collection… is that I swear being barefoot makes me, me.
I feel more at home. More alive. More creative. More in tune with what is around me.
I feel more alive? This is not making sense to me, not sure what your getting out of it so far.
Well let me tell you over the last week I’ve had some emotional days. Days where I feel lonely, and pointless. Where I felt stuck, and just blah. Days where I’m SO frustrated at situations and people. That I just knew if I took off my shoes and found some grass to stand in, I could be better for that moment.
And it works.
Over the last 2 weeks I’ve spent A LARGE amount of time with family. Spaghetti’s family, my family. It’s been great. And for some reason I feel the need to tie my bare feet fetish in with family love?
Hahaa…
Last week the 4 of us took a 8 day vacation with Spaghetti’s family. It was very nice. My MIL rented a house on a lake, with a beach, and docks, and a huge gazebo, at one time we had 17 of us and 2 dogs staying at the house!
But there was something missing… in 8 days there was more silence, more of everyone just doing nothing, which was great. I mean the point of the vaca was to do nothing and relax. It was to wind down from the rat race of life. I don’t know, there was the lack of laughter, and business that I love so much that was missing. It was silence, and sometimes awkward at times?
Now here is my other gripe, and it’s a tiny one. But it sets the tone for me. Majority of the people, will NOT let me take their picture. I’m talking out of 17 people, over half will complain about me and my camera, and a few just get down right mad. I’m not looking for glamor shots here people. I’m looking for memories for future generations. I took about 230 pictures over 8 days, mostly of my kids and my feet.
But everyone wears shoes all the time.
Except me.
(note I KNOW I’m in the water so I’m not wearing shoes, but it’s the point…)
So last night, I was with my dad’s side of the family. Just one night. And they live about 10 minutes away from me. I don’t see them but maybe once a year. (sad right?) But when we are all together, we laugh, we dance, we sing, we joke and we play. Just as we have the last 32 year that I know of.
We are barefoot.
Gravel? Grass? Dirt? Mud? Yep. NO shoes.
I think it goes to our spirit of living a bit more wild, a bit more free. We say what we want with a light air of joking. It’s just something I value with my parents sides of the family. My mom’s family was the same way.
Spaghetti and I are like night and day at times. And this is one of them. I have to say the other quality I love about my family is that we take pictures. And we POSE for them.
The don’t care how they look, if they are fat, tall, skinny, or whatever. NOT once last night did someone say ‘don’t take my picture’ we love to take silly photos and I took over 100 shots last night! (36 made the final cut)
My point?
I love both families. But if you just took of your shoes, and say ‘CHEESE!’ If you let your toes dance in the grass, and the sun on your face, you just might hear your heart sing.
Queen of Feisty
Once upon a time you happened. That moment I was in the bathroom. First floor of our house. I realized I was pregnant. I then found out it was a girl. My dreams and hopes of a little me was coming true.
After 9 long months of pregnancy came you. My baby girl.
I did all the thing I thought I should. I bathed you often, taking care of every detail. Your water, diapers, warm wipes, lotions and towels. Every part of you being. And my care for you was always first priority.
Every moment with you has been amazing. You are just a ray of sunshine when you enter a room. From your ‘All about Me’ attitude, your sassy but sweet approach to each day.
You grew into long blonde hair, big blue eyes, your tiny in size, but again show your mother’s side of pure feisty when anyone challenges you.
Your creative, your funny, your outgoing, love to dance, sing, and just be. And this my baby girl is you. The creature who took over my heart and reason for being.
Not that I ever intended to grow up, or be adult like. I for some reason realized I didn’t like children, small does of children, sure, but for to long of time, or if for some reason they got to whiney, or needy, my dislike for them grew.
So being your MOM and a Stay At Home Mom at that, I quickly realized I had to get over my loathing of whiney needy children.
I’ve instead realized that you, like so many other children are the way for adults to remember. To remember that we are all whiney needy people.
That need to be reminded to live. Out loud.
To laugh. At everything. To smile when your mom is ‘frustrated’ or ‘angry’ over barking dogs and spilt milk. To remind her that it’s life. It’s ok.
That’s you. You remind me.
You remind me of the kid that I once was, not only do you fill my heart with love of being your mom, but you make me, me again.
I’m sorry for the PPD. It was a part of me that pulled us apart. Well to me it did. You still look at me every day as if I’m some sort of amazing person. You say I’m the best mommy, the best cook, the funniest. I think I could be better for you. For both of you.
Now being pregnant with the two of you only being 22 months apart it wrecked my brain. I thought I was stronger then PPD. I thought I couldn’t go crazy. I wasn’t on meds, I didn’t see a shrink, I was just dealing with a new life, with two new people to care for. Little people at that.
Barking dogs, screaming kids, whiney kids, husband working 3 jobs, no money, laundry, housework and trying to find the new me all with out losing the old me in the mix, caused me to be in some serious denial of Post Partum Depression.
Often you called me ‘Sad mommy’ or ‘angry mommy’ needing time outs (that’s how I would handle a meltdown) but I feel that I took from you. I took from our time together, and now with your brother I feel I did the same.
But it’s been 5 years my baby. 5 LONG years. Of you and me. Adding in your brother. All of it makes us who we are, and what we are. All this stems from the fact that today was your Preschool graduation.
OMG. I cried typing that out. Pre.school. is OVER for you. I remember your first day. You were SO excited. I was SO upset. I sat in that parking lot and sobbed.
Today I sat with family, and the great preschool mom friends I have made, I cried that in 8 months you went from little girl, just 4 years old to all of a sudden your getting a diploma and the tell me you’re a Kindergartener?! From 3 days a week for 2.5 hours a day. To ALL day on a bus school?! And need I remind you that your FIFTH birthday. Yes 5 is coming up? Two weeks and a day?!
So yesterday I surprised you and POWER cleaned your room. I mean ALL the clothes on the floor, the toys, the mess. It took me ALL day. CLEAN. The mess is of coarse yours, but part my fault. Those clothes went back as far as 24 months. (party lazy me, part that I couldn’t let go, and part I LOATHE laundry of any kinds) Some child with less then you will enjoy them. And we can go on enjoying your wonderful room.
Writing you this I’m trying to figure where I’m going with it. Is it a “I’m sorry I didn’t give my all the last 5 years” I thought I did then. Looking back I feel like I didn’t. Or is this a “Holy Canoli my baby is growing up SO fast and I can’t hold on to her so I need to jump on and just enjoy the ride” I think it’s both.
As I learned with Maggie May, I didn’t pick her out at the pet store. She picked out me. As did you. Sure I made you, I created you my little human, but you. YOU make me who I am now. You teach me, if not more then I teach you. To be me. To let us be us. If I just LET you and me pick out who we want to be.
To not fight the angry whiney needy child in either of us.
But to embrace who we are. My baby and I. To remember you are me. You’re a tiny version of me, in a WHOLE new world. Let’s enjoy this ride my princess.
In the words of you “Girls only, right mom?” (when your dad is at work and your brother is napping and we have snuck to the art room for some us time)
“Can this just be a girl day?” (when your brother is still asleep and you’ve woken me at 7 am on the weekend)
And hoping that you forget, that there was ever these words uttered by you “Mom I wish you weren’t always angry mommy then sad mommy”
Let’s make this the best summer ever My Bella.
You Feisty Mom.
xoxo…
On June 16th 2003 (our 2nd wedding anniversary) we needed to pick up a ‘replacement dog’ our beloved boxer, Haley had passed away after only 5 days of the Parvo Virus. This horrendous ‘breeder’ gave us a sick dog, and in return we were just told to come in and pick out another.
Spaghetti was at work, and so I called Aerial to go with me. We walked in and I was told to just pick one… I saw a fawn and white boxer. I called her over. She was wired (as most boxers are) and kept running away.
But out of the corner of the room, came this brindle, red and brown haired boxer. Full of wiggles, kisses, and climbed right into my lap. Turned. Sat. As if saying ‘This lap is mine.’ Sold.
I often said that we chose Maggie. But looking back, I realize that she’s the one who chose me.
Maggie May has lived a life of love, hugs, belly rubs, pig ears, and top of the line foods. If it rains and she’s outside, I dry her fur. I wash her feet at the door if they are muddy, and cover her with blankets when she seems cold.
Maggie was a solo girl, but then we got her a rescue friend. A boxer we called Sadie. Well Sadie wasn’t meant to play with others and a fight broke out, needless to say Sadie was picked up by Boxer Rescue the next day.
Maggie had a life of her fuzzy cat friend, Jordan. And after over a year and a few months she got her baby sister Sophie. A runt of a boxer. Brindle too. They were meant to be.
The years went by, cold winters running through the deep snow, or snuggled on the couch with Spaghetti, watching HOURS of ESPN. Warm Spring and Fall days enjoying walks, laying on the deck in the sun and rubbing your back in the grass. Summers were spent with her feet in the plastic baby pool. JUST for her feet to cool her off. Maggie did NOT get her fur wet.
Most of the summer was spent inside. It gets SO hot outside, and I don’t blame you. Extreme hot or cold was not for Maggie May.
You loved belly rubs. Maggie would just s…l…o…w…l…y roll over and give you belly to rub!
So for your 7th birthday, April 21st 2010. I took you for a car ride. I took you to the video store so we could return some videos. I know the manager, and she says let her free. So I let off your collar and you got the biggest kick out of running around the video store! Up and down the isles, like a puppy. I then took you back to the porn room, just for giggles!
From that point on, I realized how much you LOVED to ride in the car. Front seat. Window down. So if the weather was mild enough, you would go for a ride for errands. All I had to say was “Go for RIDE?!”
This winter, I got into the habit of taking you ALL the time, to take Bagel to preschool. The kids got a big kick out of you riding with, and they would giggle and squeal when I would say “Maggie, are you driving today?” and you would hop over to the drivers seat!
You loved the preschool parking lot. It was FULL of people and kids, you LOVED to people watch. Always concerned they would get to close to us.
For some reason I started to cherish, more and more our times together. Maybe it was all the grey in your face, or the fact that you were SO much slower on the stairs. (even with a replacement knee you were usually faster)
I started to take the time and brush your fur on the deck, to just SIT, and enjoy your company. I found a place to trim you and Sophie’s nails, $5 each, and an extra dollar to drummel them after. It was like dog spa day!
I noticed Sophie paying SO much more attention to you. She was sleeping by you ALL the time. You were less active, and one morning we woke up to the flood.
The hall, front room, kitchen and family room had PUDDLES of urine. Your two HUGE water bowls were empty. You stood at the back door with your head down. You were embarrassed. You’ve always been able to hold it for 8-10 hours easy.
I knew you were sick. Two days later we took you into the Animal Hospital (VCA) hoping for a bladder infection, and hoping nothing was wrong with your lymph nodes the doctor said were clearly larger and easy to touch.
$650 later, and lots of tests. We were sure it wasn’t a bladder infection. It was either Thyroid Cancer, or Hyperparathyroidism. In which either case you were going down hill fast. Your muscle mass in 2 weeks had you down to saggy dog, and you slept constantly. You pee’d all over the floor, and since you being a 60 lb dog, the amount of paper towels I was going through was insane. We started to carpet the halls with towels, and I would wash them however many times a day need be.
We were selfish to keep you an extra 3 weeks, I didn’t mind the towels, and the lethargic ways, but when you didn’t eat on Friday, by Monday we knew what we had to do.
On and off through out the weeks Spaghetti and I had spent nights up crying to each other. Discussing how she was, and how much longer we wanted to keep her like this.
April 18th we said the next morning we would go. Queen and Carrots had taken Bagel for an overnight, and Grandma Mc took Weaky.
Spaghetti had to work at Wrigley Field Monday night, but by the time he got home at 11:30 pm, expecting me in bed (with my RLS I don’t do well in the recliners) he instead found me in the family room. I had moved the recliner couches together. So the two of us, could sleep and each of the girls had a chair too. He was touched that I set this up for us. We had a hard time going to sleep. Knowing it was our last night with Maggie.
Spaghetti woke around 5 am, and sat with Maggie, till I woke around 7. We got dressed, got her a blanket, her leash one last time, and she rode shotgun. Like she did so many times. Instead of the strait shot to the vet, I drove Maggie our favorite road. A LONG road. No stop signs, lots of hills, with the window down. She picked up her head, to notice I had done this, but she plopped it back down to the car seat, as she lay curled in a ball. I was crushed. Spaghetti grabbed my shoulder.
When we arrived on that Tuesday morning, it was silent there. The girls that work up front are off that morning. So only the Office Manager, my dear friend, and old boss, Sandy was there. Two tech’s one doctor. Our favorite, Dr. Salbego. All people we trusted, and have known Maggie since she was a wiggly puppy.
They gave us time in the room with her. I do think we got there around 8:15 am, after saying our goodbyes, for the zillinth time. All the hugs, kisses, and she let Spaghetti give her countless belly rubs.
The tech’s came in, and put in the catheter. She was afraid of the buzz of the clippers, they had to shave her fur. (I saved it) We had to muzzle her for this. I know she was scared. But we held her on the floor. Spaghetti laid behind her, and I held her face.
The tech’s got the catheter set, taped with blue tape to her arm. I’m sure they left, but people coming and going from the room was blurry to me.
Spaghetti spooned behind Maggie, and I lay with my face to hers. This always made Spaghetti nervous. She punched me 3 times in the face during this time laying together (not sure if she was attempting to put her paw on my shoulder like she always did, and just missed each time? Spaghetti said it was for all those times I would go to give her a snack and pulled it back when she tried to snatch it, and said “Take nice. Take nice”)
We cried. We laid in silence. We told her stories. We told her of her past. We told her who to look for on the Rainbow Bridge. Uncle Tony would be waiting for her, to play. Our first Boxer, Haley. She’d be there too. And Gypsy. Spaghetti’s Boxer that he grew up with.
After what seemed like 5 minutes of our last time together. We heard the doctor knock. She asked if we needed more time… we looked into each others eyes, and said ‘no’. I LOST it. Saying the words that meant she could take away our Maggie broke us.
We quickly sucked it up, and had to be brave for Maggie during her last few minutes.
Dr. Salbago, said she had a sedative for Maggie. This would make her feel nothing, she’d still be here, but numb. Then she would give the euthanasia soon after.
After she gave the sedative, we held her close. We cried, and the doctor said she was giving the euthanasia.
I remember the huge pink needle. I remember sobbing. I remember saying over and over and over again “Thank you Maggie. Thank you. Thank you Maggie. We love you. I love you. Thank you Maggie. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.”
All I could do was Thank her. For giving us 7 years, 11 months and 28 days of herself. She gave us her all. She was ALWAYS there for us, and was so unselfish. All I could do was thank her.
I remember the doctor getting out her stethoscope and saying “she’s gone” I don’t remember the doctor leaving the room. I remember trying to pet her as much as I could, to remember her fur, her face, her everything.
She was laying on our huge picnic blanket. It’s a large, light blue blanket, it’s from the Brookfield Zoo. After saying goodbye a million more times. Spaghetti took the blanket corners, and swaddled her in it. We kissed our fuzzy puppy one last time and left the room.
In the lobby Sandy was waiting for me. She hugged me, and pet my hair. She was just what we needed. We talked for about 20 minutes, and it felt good to talk to her. Looking outside it was pouring rain. Suitable weather. The sky was sad too.
Looking at the clock. It was 10:34 am… over 2 hours, and what seemed like time had stood still.
It’s been 9 days since. Feels like 9 weeks.
How are we?
Well I spent the rest of that day driving. I had to pick up both kids from two different houses. And Spaghetti had to work at Wrigley.
Came home to Sophie. She was looking for Maggie…
Sophie is younger then Maggie. She has never had a life with out her sister. Her 6 1/2 years have known nothing else. She is heartbroken. I baby her. I soak her food in hot water, and often table scraps get added to her meals. I make sure she has blankets for the couches, she is dried off when she is wet from the rain, and she gets tons of attention.
I’m trying to get the kids to play with her more. See with Maggie around, the kids did NOT play with the dogs much. Maggie loved the kids, kinda like an old Grandfather. Loved them. Didn’t like to be around them. So Sophie didn’t spend much time with them either.
Now with Maggie gone, I try to get Sophie involved with everything we do. Alex loves to play outside and Sophie and him explore together. Today my heart was filled with happiness.
Sophie lay by the back sliding glass doors. I spooned behind her. Then Alex sat inside her legs and Mia then sat by her face. Both kids petting her, and talking to her. Sophie reaches her head back to cover my face in kisses. Her stub of a tail is going crazy.
This is a better day, days are easy. Nights are always hard. I cry each night. I go to the big bookshelf. The top shelf has my dog scrapbook, her collar, her scarf, her fur in a baggie, her paw print in the baked clay (the Animal Hospital did this for us) a book from a dear friend, about ‘Dog Heaven’ and last night I added a notebook. One for memories of you. Or notes to you.
Our world is totally different now. And I’m still broken with out you in it. We are trying to adapt to a new life. Last night I washed the last of your blankets. And in the dryer lint as always it is FULL, overflowing with fur.
You.
Your fur.
Your life.
Washed away.
I sobbed last night. Holding onto dryer lint saying I’m sorry your gone. Everyone is right. I will go all day just fine, and BOOM. You hit me like you were running through the yard and caught me.
You took so much of my heart with you Maggie May. I am broken. We all are. And we are slowly trying to put us back together, with out you.
Rest in peace my Maggie May.
Kisses, hugs, and belly rubs.
Feisty, Spaghetti, Bagel, Weaky and Sophie.
April 21st 2003- April 19th 2011
xo…
----- Original Message -----
From: Feisty
To: carrots
Sent: Friday, March 5, 2010 9:06:21 PM GMT -06:00 US/Canada Central
Subject: A message from Mia.
Hello,
I have to tell you that I was tucking Bagel into bed for the third time (ya know, first time is reading, and singing songs. Second time is for her water to be filled, and the third is to tell me she can't sleep)
So I was tucking her in, and she told me this...
"mommy, I miss my Great Gramma Alice. Can you show me her picture when she was holding baby mia in the morning, and I want to watch the video with her"
It made me smile. I want Bagel to know that even though she only had 6 months with her great Gramma how much she was loved. And I want the kids to know of all their great grandparents.
I thought you would like this.
Love
Feisty
There are some kids who don't even know who their parents are, a few more don't remember their grandparents, its even more amazing the ones who have, or had, the opportunity to know their great-grandparents. My mom touched all of us in her own special way, apparently Bagel was touched. Thanks Gack for keeping that memory alive. Dad
Sigh…
We have Maggie May.
This is our boxer. She will be 8 on April 21st. (boxers give you a life span of about 9-10 years) she has recently started a new habit of drinking excessive amounts of water. As in about a gallon plus some a day. Thus she pisses. ALL THE TIME. All over the house.
Well the rooms she’s allowed in. We can’t just take the water away. Obviously her body is telling her she NEEDS water. But why?
So we discuss with the vet, We came up with a FEW options. (few as in 5 different options…)
First Vet visit.
Test her urine, HOPE for a bladder infection or UTI. Do blood work to check all her levels.
Results
Sadly no infection. Nothing simple some antibiotics could fix. It’s her calcium. Needs to be retested. Oh and her lymph nodes seem odd to touch. Could be because she is older and loosing muscle mass. But still odd.
Price $268
Second Vet visit.
Test for Calcium. Also do ‘fine needle aspiration’ on her lymph nodes.
Results
The fine needle aspiration cytology came back “some sort of inflammation” (seems kind of vague for $152 doesn’t it?!)
The calcium test came back today with ‘Calcium is high’… again. We still have that vague feeling here. But for a steal of $108 dollars.
Price for visit $263
So this brings us to now.
Oh yeah. What are we looking at?
Hyper-para-thyroid-ism.
OR…
Thyroid Cancer.
I guess they are SO closely related that is why we are still testing for both. AND with out doing an ultrasound on her throat and abdominal and biopsy whatever we find.We STILL don’t know.
We are just frustrated that we spent the last $263 dollars for tests that we could have just skipped and went for the ultrasound?
THAT is a very pretty $400 for the ultrasounds and the biopsy is another $200.
They also would LIKE a PTH test done, to better help the doctor understand what we are dealing with. Well when that $245 test is free. Let us know. Until then let’s just pick one. Hyperpara… or cancer.
AND they wanted to start with an X-ray of her chest. BUT if the ‘cancer’ hasn’t spread there yet. And we got a clean x-ray, then we could just flush $235 down the toilet. AND even if we did start with the x-ray and they found a mass, they would STILL have to do an ultrasound and biopsy.
THEN…
if it’s Hyperparathyroidism THEN we can do a surgery to remove the benign mass that is creating her calcium to spike, her to drink excessive water and stop pissing all over our floors and feel better. And she can live a ‘normal’ life. (and we can stop going through ROLLS of paper towels, and pine sole)
We get NO estimate on that surgery, till we know for sure. (lots goes into that one for price, and at that point we will be pretty one on one with the doctor anyway. So he would tell us before we opted to do anything)
OR.
If it’s cancer.
We see how big it is. We could probably have a few more months with her if we go untreated…
Sadly we could never afford dog chemo. And not sure how much it would effect her life anyway.
Sigh…
We are crushed.
Maggie is stressed.
Sophie is concerned for Maggie.
They barely eat.
They sleep and mope. ALL. DAY.
All the barking, the constantly wanting to play, the wiggly butts, the running in the yard… it’s come to a complete STOP. This below is our everyday.
Our hearts are broken. Our minds are full. Our wallet is empty. Any ideas?
FEISTY.
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