More then my life

Tonight before I went to bed I heard that you were still awake in your crib.

I turned off all the lights and put on a dim desk lamp in the loft outside your room.

I snuck inside your room to see you laying in bed, looking up at me.

I quickly lowered the rail, tossed your "fuzzy" over my shoulder, and you instantly stood up to be held.

I picked you up, and snuck you to the bathroom, where I gave you a cup of water.

Then I walked back to the loft, to the rocker (I just moved it out there last week)

I sat with you laying over my shoulder, you suck your thumb, which is too cute, and pet my arm

We rocked for 10 minutes

All while I whisper to you how much you mean to me, and how I will always be there for you.

I try desperatly to remember the little baby, SO tiny and sweet.

The little baby named Weaky. You barely squeaked. And now you ramble your jibberish as fast as me.

As I hold you I notice that your head is on my shoulder and your feet are down past my hips.

When you used to be just a handful of a little guy, well now your just a handful!!

I'm amazed at how different you are from your sister.

Your energy, your want to discover, your curiosity, your love of mess.

You quickly went from bottle, to sippy, now you barely need a straw, you just use a cup.

You are using silverware (plasticware) when you choose too (fingers are always first choice)

You try to get yourself dressed, and you love to play and interact with your toys.

You can understand me, and you do things I ask of you. Your the best little garbage thrower awayer I know!

Your patience is amazing, your just like your father. You wait your turn and when your crazy sister screams.

You back away like your father does when I scream at him.

Sure you are your father on the inside but physically your the boy version of me.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, big smile, and those teeth! Sorry you've got your Papa Carrots, and mom's teeth!

I held you tight in that rocker. I wished to capture you at that moment. You and me.

That years down the road when your "too big" to rock with me, that I remember tonight.

I love you more then you will ever understand Weaky.

These 23 months have been amazing. Can't wait for more.

More then my life.

The other woman

(this post is an email that I recieved from Mudd Pimp. I thought I would share. And this pictures is from May 2008, right after I had Weaky. Me and my mom the Queen)

 

BEING A MOTHER...

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to

take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She

said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves

you and would love to spend some time with you.'

* * *

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit

was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years,

but the demands of my work and my two boys had

made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

* * *

That night I called to invite her to go out for

dinner and a movie.

* * *

'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?

* * *

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a

late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign

of bad news..

* * *

'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some

time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said,

'I would like that very much.'

* * *

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick

her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her

house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous

about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled

her hair and was wearing the

dress that she had worn to celebrate her last

birthday on November 19th.

* * *

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an

angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go

out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said,

as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.

* * *

We went to a restaurant that, although not

elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my

arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat

down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only

read large print. Half way through the entries, I

lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at

me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I

who used to have to read the menu when you were

small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and

let me return the favor,' I responded..

* * *

During the dinner, we had an agreeable

conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up

on recent events of each other's life. We talked so

much that we missed the movie.

* * *

As we arrived at her house later, she said,

'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me

invite you.' I agreed.

* * *

'How was your dinner date ?'

asked my wife when I got home.

'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,'

I answered.

* * *

A few days later, my mother died of a massive

heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't

have a chance to do anything for her.

* * *

Some time later, I received an envelope with a

copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place

mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I

paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I

could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two

plates - one for you and the other for your wife.

You will never know what that night meant for me.

I love you, son.'

* * *

At that moment, I understood the importance of

saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved

ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is

more important than your family. Give them the time

they deserve, because these things cannot be put off

till 'some other time.'

* * *

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back

to normal after you've had a baby..... somebody

doesn't know that once you're a mother,

'normal' is history.

* * *

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by

instinct ... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping..

* * *

Somebody said being a mother is boring ....

somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a'good' mother,

your child will 'turn out good'....

somebody thinks a child comes with

directions and a guarantee.

* * *

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a

mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader

with his math.

* * *

Somebody said you can't love the second child as

much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't

have two children.

* * *

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother

is labor and delivery....

somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus

for the first day of kindergarten ..

or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'

* * *

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her

child gets married....somebody doesn't know that

marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a

mother's heartstrings.

* * *

Somebody said a mother's job is done when

her last child leaves home....

somebody never had grandchildren.

* * *

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so

you don't need to tell her....

somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the 'mothers' in your life

and to everyone who ever had a mother. This isn't

just about being a mother; it's about appreciating

the people in your life while you have them....no

matter who that person is.

My Social Life

My social life is exciting. Well to me it's enough. As much as I love to chat, and visit with people when I am in a social setting. I am not one for going out much.

I think Facebook is the best goddamn invention since the internet. No shit. I can be social with all my friends, and it doesn't matter if I talked to you yesterday or 15 years ago, we catch up by reading each others updates, and comment from their. Genius.

That being said, I do leave my house at times with out my children, and Spaghetti. And when I do I don't go far, because my happiness is found in the next little town over from mine.

It's a little local scrapbook store, where I crop. Sure I have my big art room with all my tools right at hand, so why pack up half my shit and haul it to a store where I have to pay $10 to do the same thing?

For my social life.

Sure I get scrapbooking done, I've realized the less people I bring with me that I know, the better I do. So if I go alone, I actually have more progress (yesterday was my best yet I cropped from 9:30 am till 6:30pm. 9 hours, and 7 pages done.

Not bad since I had to go home to get my Cricut (cutting machine) then again right after that because I left my cut mats at home (grrr) and we all bring food, and get pizza for dinner so their are snack breaks. Plus all I do is drink water, coffee and tea while I scrap, so I pee about 42 times (8 times really, but you need the exagerated number)

I love to crop with my mom, and Pipe, but it seems the better I know you the more I chat my ass off. Yesterday the two girls who were signed up, never showed! Not only did I get shit done, I also got the WHOLE table to myself (did I share with other girls who had 3 to a table...nope!)

I love to meet new people, to hear their stories, and best of all to learn WHY they scrapbook. If you think it's just to perserve memories your wrong. So many scrapbookers need an outlet. Many of us are SAHM's who just need to get away, and for the busy working mom's, retired grandma's, and teens and collage girls who just need an out.

It's for everyone, and I love that I can make art with my pictures, share idea's and memories, and best of all to make new friends.

I think I like to crop on my own, I happen to be quite the diva when I crop. I have 6 CD's of music I burned just for us to listen too. Everything you can imagine is on their, from Michael Jackson to Kelly Clarkson. Of coarse P!nk and the Black Eyed Peas are a must, but there is some country (about 4 songs, the most I can tollerate at one time) there is rock, pop, hip hop, oldie's, and old school.

I have a seat I prefer. In the corner. Sure cuz I'm bad, but mostly beause I can spread out, and I can see everyone there. I don't pack ALL my stuff (I seriously used to) but I like my space. But I do venture out of my corner, to visit, shop around the store, and when people get up, I ask if I can sit in their seat.

Weird? Sure, but I love to sit in another artist chair. To see how they do a layout, to see how they organize their stuff, to see their lives being documented.

I dance, shake my butt, we do a bit of yoga posing since we sit all day. Sometimes we make a break for the Dollar General to see what fun we can find. If no fun, at least some food.

Check out my friends I made yesterday!

Here is my friend Berry, she is a young collage girl, who LOVES to scrap, she should her mom owns the store. It was fun to crop and eat Smarties with her, to see her crop her friends, and their trips. Her niece, and family pictures.

Pastry girl in pink, made these TO DIE for nummy pastires the night before. OMG good. She crops often, we aren't close, but we do love to joke and share what we are up too. She can crop and finish about 15 pages a crop. Sounds impressive, but she also has her pictures cropped, and paper planned for each layout before coming to crop. Cheater!!

Next to her is Goonie. (I call her Goonie, because she loves the Goonies more then me, so we must be friends. I demand it.) By the way she is wearing a paper bib around her neck. Just a little FYI about her wardrobe.

So onto Goonie. After cropping, visiting and enjoying our conversations (mind you she was across the room from me) I realize that with the details she has given, and some of the things she has said. I needed to ask her if she graduated H.S. in 1996, and from my school. She did.

Weird. Well no really, my H.S. was big (and now is even bigger) so each class was over 600 kids, so the odds of you knowing everyone was rare. So we quickly threw names back and forth, she was good friends with most of my gradeschool friends that went to our H.S. school, and we had alot of mutual friends, but found out the key thing, she was a softball girl. Ahh, that was it. You wouldn't find me near a sporting event. I supported the arts, drama and musicals. No wonder we never knew each other.

Her story of her life was interesting, and made me understand why she scrapbooks. It's an out from her life. Sometimes stressful, and not always happy. I hope to see her again there.

Here's Trendy Chic, and Sam. Trendy is older then most of us. But I was thrown off when I made a comment about the Black Eyed Peas, and she said she loved them. I tried not to look surprised, but she caught me and said "What am I too old?" I said "No, I can only hope to be so trendy when I am older" came to find out she loves the Pussycat dolls, BEP, Justin Timberlake, and she shook hands with Oprah 2 years ago. She has money so she loves to buy the newest tools and gadgets. She has a Gypsy for her Cricut (think iTouch for scrapbooking. I think.)

She sold me on a Kindle reader. She is an avid book fan. Not just a reader. There is a difference, I LOVE books, to hold, smell and flip the pages. She did too. But she said this is so great. I was sold. She did say she sold almost all her books (it would clear up alot of my clutter) but she kept a few.

Trendy Chic has cropped many times with me, but this time it was such a great group I learned more this time then in the last 2 years I've known her.

And Burnt Orange here. She was quiet, and kept to herself. We did talk a bit twards the end, and when I was leaving we both hoped to crop together again.

Also was her friend, that had to leave early, and Carry, who left early too.

I love to crop and get away. Just as much as I love to get right back and enjoy life, to take more pictures and crop some more!

Stoned Beetles.

An arguement between Spaghetti and I. Mind you it's not an angry arguement, more like one of those healthy ones over random life topics.

This one being music.

He makes a comment about how I don't know any of the Rolling Stones. He is right, I don't. He says I am a freak that probably likes the Beetles. I do.

He is appauled by this idea, and does the whole crinkly face thing, then makes fun of me because he says the Beetles are all pop music, and it's all gay tambourine shit. Gag. I said well if you wanted me to choose between the two bands. Sure I would pick the Beetles.

He was completly freaked out by now. I was confused as to why he didn't figure this one out on his big boy own. I mean I love pop music right? Sooooo....

Then the discussion grows to how Spaghetti thinks that Pop is SO dead, and it's never as good as rock. I said Pop is just as good as his rock (don't get me wrong I love rock too. He just isn't the biggest pop fan. Maybe a closet pop fan)

So I said Pop is dead? Pick up our iPod and tell me who falls under the Genre Pop. Lets see who is SO dead right now.

Black Eyed Peas?
Lady Gaga?
Britney?
P!nk?
Beyonce?
Uncle Kracker?

Need I go on dear? I was right. For once, he didn't have much to say but grumble on about how I still picked the damn Beetles. Like I said, the above list would be my first choice over the Beetles, but Pop music, and Hip Hop are my favorites. Rock and alternative are awesome too. Just not my first choice. (please don't ask me about Country. It's not a pretty response. I have about 10 songs that are country I can bear. AND they can not be played back to back. I will freak the fuck out. Country makes me twitch)

Just wondering who you would pick. Also is it that weird that I can't name ONE Rolling Stone (well I can now, because Spaghetti was screaming about Mic Jagger (I know I slaughtered the spelling. Effing Blogger STILL doesn't have a spell check on this new version. Or I'm a tard who can't figure it out) and how I do know him. WTF woman. Either way. I was amused that he was upset that I didn't know a RS name, or a song, but to my defense I can't name a Beetle either.

Also just so you don't think my parents were freaks, we listened to Fleetwood Mac, Hewy Lewis, John Melloncamp, Billy Joel. That kinda stuff...

Sunday Soapbox. I strongly dislike children. There I said it.

I will be honest here. I have been wanting to blog on this for a while now, and in an attempt to not insult my children, here I go.

I don't like kids.

No really. I don't.

I was confused about this for some time. Because I LOVED being a kid. SO much I cried on my 18th birthday knowing I was officially an adult. I totally get being a kid still. I am in love with the idea of never growing up. But I just don't like kids themselves.

So I was trying to figure this out, and so I told my mom. And I of coarse started with the whole "well I don't mean to sound rude, or insulting but I really don't like kids. But I have my own? Does that make sense?"

She said yes it does. She said growing up as a kid, that I loved being a kid, doing kid things, but I didn't like other kids at all. I had my friends and that was it. I wasn't out looking for more friends, and I hated others playing with my toys. I never wanted to baby sit. EVER. When I was old enough to get a job I loathed the idea of sitting around with someone elses whiney brats for money. I would rather go bus tables or scrub kennels.

She also said that she didn't like kids either. She said they were annoying to her, and she only baby sat when the kids were old enough to take care of themselves, but still needed someone around.

Makes sense.

So why did she have kids? Same reason I did. I want to have my own people, to carry on my family, and to have someone there for me when I'm old. I think it will be an amazing ride to watch my kids grow, learn and play.

I can't wait to document every damn second they are alive. I am in love with my children, just like everyone else is.

BUT I can only take children in small does. So when Spaghetti works his 3 jobs back to back to back, for 3 days in a row, it's me, myself, and I with two small kids. AND no other adults. I get twichy and stabby, and very short tempered. I NEED my children to take naps or if anything just go in your rooms for a few hours so I can go recollect my thought (or what's left of them) I LOVE night time when they are sleeping, but I love when they are awake too.

Sure I can go to lapsit at the library, or some event with other parents. And I am sure when Bagel starts preschool in the fall it will be a huge growing process for the two of us. Me learning to let go, and her moving on, and making friends of her own (I shudder at the thought of other kids around. Gag.)

We've had ONE playdate, with the neighbors kid. She is about 8 months older then Bagel, and I swear she is wired to be a crazy boy (she does have an older brother and sister) but man that kid will give grey hairs faster then any kid I've seen. She climbs EVERYTHING (thank GOD it was a backyard playdate) BUT to my worst nightmare, the other kids saw me sitting with Bagel and said neighbor girl and so I ended up with a yard full of kids. No shit.

We are counting Bagel, Weaky (at the time just 1 year) said neighbor girl, her sister, brother, and the 3 neighbor kids behind me. HOLY SHIT.

Thankfully the one neighbor girl is about 13 and babysits all these kids, so she was able to run the show help me out.

The mom's quickly (after 10 minutes) noticed that ALL the kids were playing in my yard so they came by to save me. I explained that I didn't mind one kid, and they totally understood, especially with Weaky being so tiny.

I always said I would love to teach H.S. art class. Funny thing is, is most teachers say "OH NO! We love the little kids. The teenagers are horrible" but I explain, I don't like kids. I do however love teenagers.

Alright, alright, say what you want about what I will say in 10 years when Bagel is a teen and is ignoring me, and hates me. BUT I swear I totally bond with teens. They are mini adults who need respect, and I love to watch them grow.

Seriously. They are big enough to feed themselves, clean up after themselves (yes I know they don't though) and they are still moldable. They can still change and grow and learn. But if you take the time to hear their opinions, or listen to what they are saying, I find them facinating.

I will love my children, and each little stage they go through. I love when they are sleeping so I can get my rest, but I miss them so when they are. If I'm dropping them off for a day with my IL's, I get excited for the freedom, but I miss them terribly when I am gone. I tip my hat to teachers of children, day care people and if you do all that AND you teach or care for small kids with handicaps your amazing to me. I just CAN NOT wrap my mind around being around that many children ALL day.

Again. Little doeses. Very little doeses. Like a small playdate, or an hour here or there. I do want to have play dates, but I think I need to know the mom. I can't have those mom's who just expect me to do all the entertaining. Oh HELL no. I just can't handle it. I didn't like kids playing with my toys and so I am sure I will be the same with kids and my kids toys!

So please don't be offended. If you are and if you don't get why I had kids if I don't like them to begin with. It's not as selfish as it sounds. It's a choice I wanted. Not for the sheer glory of having small children to drive me insane, but for the pure sake of family. MY FAMILY. One that I created with Spaghetti.

So enough rambling for now. I do think I will start my Sunday Soapbox's again... starting today... it is Sunday isn't it?

Ready, set... procrastinate.

"Procrastination is alot like masterbation. It seems like a good idea in the begining.

But in the end your really just screwing yourself"

I have to say that I have often owned the procastination title proudly. Not that its a good thing. But that I can rock procrastinating like the rock star that I am.

From everything in my life, I have procrastinated. And I have found that I am quite at ease working under pressure. From cooking dinner, I wait until 20 minutes before we want to eat, to start a 1 hour dinner. (yes it's not always as glamorous of a meal when I cram in defrosting time in there too)

I don't clean up after meals. I wait till the next meal time, to wipe off the tables, and counters. It's annoying and makes it so I don't want to cook. I am seriously working on this issue of mine.

I often have classes in my home, I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator (if you want more to see what we are about click HERE) AND I swear after 5 1/2 years of doing this, you would think I would have my classes done ahead of time. NO WAY! I have classes on Wednesdays, and usually I start on Monday's, which really mean Tuesday's, and sometimes Wednesday's right before class.

Sigh. It's stressful, and I seem to work best under pressure, I make great cards, and scrapbook pages, BUT I have to ONLY work, and doing that with NO kids, is hard for a SAHM who's DH works 3 jobs. So not my best idea to wait till days before class. I would love to fix this issue of mine.

On the other hand I have been better at swaps. Each month I attend a Stampin' Up! meeting, with my upline, downline, and sideline friends. We share and swap cards with each other. AND those are every 3rd Monday of every month. I often wait till Sunday night to work on these! I finished mine Friday for tomorrows meeting though. Progress was made there!

I wait till 1 hour before we have to leave for a day trip to somewhere. And let me tell you, it's a BAD idea. I mean getting myself ready is a good hour on it's own (shower, hair, make-up, purse, outfit) then to get the kids ready. Sigh... it's a process I have learned to NOT procrastinate on. It's getting better.

I wait on everything!

Putting the kids to bed 8 minutes before my show is on? Sure, putting an almost 2 and 4 year old to bed in 8 minutes is easy! Riiiiggghhttt. So I miss the first 20 minutes of my show...

I have a slight issue with not eating, my blood sugar gets low, and I get all stabby and psycho around people. If only I would eat lots of little meals!!

I attempt to diet 2 weeks before the weather breaks. So I have had January, February, and now March to shake some of this fat off my ass, and I have instead gained 6 pounds. Yes it's that depressing. Maybe next year? Or how bout now? I mean I still don't have to be in a swim suit to jiggle in front of the neigbors for about 2 more months. So maybe a bit of weight loss? I had the bathtub conversation with myself again.

I guess, what I am trying to do is write this all out, and maybe I will reread this and see that it get's me no where fast to procrastinate like I do.

I have so many great ideas in my head. Like we all do. I love this book called "FIVE" it's on where I will be five years from now. I mean I have been dreaming of having my own store. Full of handmade stuff, from my ugly sock monsters, to aprons, and jewelry. I have BIG dreams of all the fun things I could sell, and thought of having an Etsy shop first.

I even set a date of starting the Etsy shop by next January. Which means I need to make stuff this year, and start next year. I also dream of having my said store by the time I am 40. Being that I am 31 and a half, means I have to get my ass in gear.

I mean do I really want to go through life half assed like I am?

Don't get me wrong, I love my life, my kids and family.

But there are things I need to change. I NEED to eat healthier, I want to live to 106, and be one of those witty and still with it old people. So I need to mentally challenge myself too.

I want to show my kids to follow their dreams, so if all I do is ramble here on blogger about them, how will they be motivated to follow there dreams themselves?


In good news, I have been trying to clean up after myself, today is the 3rd day of a picked up house, having a shiney sink, and doing laundry. I need to start scheduling time each day for the art room. For creating not just for classes, but to work on my own dream.

(speaking of the dream, since we are SUPER broke, and on a INSANE budget, I am saving every scrap of clothing, to make my stuff with. I think it will give an edge to my creations.)

Here's to a new me.

A less procrastinating,
more productive,
less cluttery,
more organized,
less lazy,
more inspired me.

A bunch of giberish. I wanna taco damnit...

Were you considered popular in high school? Why or why not?

I don't think I was popular. But I wasn't outcasted, or made fun of. I went to a public school with about 680 kids per CLASS. So take that times 4 grades we had close to 2800 kids, so you fit into your own group. It was much nicer then gradeschool. I had great friends and still do from gradeschool, but those mean bitches were brutal then.


How old are you in your dreams?
Same as I am now. Never older or younger.


Did you ever run away from home? Why or why not?
Yes once. My dad and I were arguing over something. And he said I should just leave the house. I grabbed my purse and walked out. I didn't make it a block away, and he was there to pick me up in his truck. He was mad that I actually left. I wasn't going far, just to my friend Nerak's house.



If you could invite any five people to your birthday party, who would they be?
So I am wondering if this is any 5 people in the world outside of my family? Let's pretend it is. So that being said my family and friends are there. But if I could invite 5 other people? I would say P!nk (cuz she's a damn rock star. And I think we have the same "whatever" type of attitude), Corey Felman (because I have loved this guy since I first saw him in the Bad News Bears. Still do!) Adam Sandler (because he's funny and seems to be a chill kinda guy) Britney Spears (because I big red heart her music, and yes I know she lip sync's, I've paid to watch her do that twice) SARK (she's an author of amazing inspiring art and creativity)




What birthday has been your favorite so far? What about it made it special?
My 30th. Because I got what I asked for. I made my wish simple and let Spaghetti get creative.

All I asked for was 3 days and 2 nights away with him. I had just had Weaky less then 3 months prior, (and I KNEW months before I had him, that I would need a break after having a 2 year old and a new born)

So Spaghetti did just that. He made it a surprise until I saw we were driving into Chicago, he had us staying at the Hard Rock Hotel on the Michigan Ave, but that wasn't even my surprise. At dinner in my card I opened, and found a job for me.

Yes a job. Spaghetti bought me a one day job at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago! OMG. I was crying my eyes out. I was SO excited. So to sum up the weekend? We walked everywhere, enjoyed, the parks, the Bean, Navy Pier, we even went up to Wrigleyville. It was an awesome weekend, of me and him. I SO needed that.




What one thing are you craving today?
A volcano taco from Taco Bell. (make that two)


What's your least favorite word?
I have a few.
Panties.
Moist.
Doi (as in duh but worse)


Where do you go when you need really good advice?
Honest advice? My mom the Queen, Spaghetti, Aerial, my cousin Bob. My dearest and most honest friend from grade school Maternal Mirth.


If you could participate in any winter Olympic sport, what would it be?
If I was good at it? Ice skating. Cuz I've ALWAYS wanted to skate pretty. But maybe I could make Scrapbooking a sport.




What was your best day of the week last week and why?
Thursday. I went to the Flower and Garden Show at Navy Pier in Chicago with JUST my parents. We started our day early, and ended with a nice dinner at Chili's. I don't get me time with JUST them. Usually my sister, kids, or DH is along too. Not that I don't love them along for the ride, but you get it right?


What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?
When I gave birth to Bagel. I started at 5 am to check in at the hospital at 6 am (I was being induced) and after a LONG day, I FINALLY was ready to push around 11 pm, but she wasn't born until 1:23 am the next day! By the time I was done with 23 minutes of stitches (the epidural wore off, so I felt EVERY. STITCH. in my nether region) then they were pushing me to feed her, and since I hadn't eaten since 530 am, I was about to kill someone for food, but I was so sick from not eating and the drugs, I just had some sherbert. I think I passed out around 4 am.


Is how old you look and/or how old you feel right now different from your actual age?
Sorta? I look like maybe late 20's, but feel more like late 30's, and act like early 20's (but more responsible them most 20 year olds. But carefree and slightly childish with a punk attitude)

So I'm thinkin' it would be better if I looked like I was in my early 20's, acted like I was in my late 30's and felt like I was in my late 20's it would be better for me!


Got these questions over at Manic Monday's site!

Corey Corner

Of coarse this is a sad post. A post about the loss of one of our Corey's.

Kid of the 80's? Then you knew them. My best friend and me, we both loved Corey Feldman. BIG puffy red hearted the guy. I had a corner of my room full of just Corey Feldman photo's I had taken from my teen beat magazines, and anywhere else I could get pictures.

I had the famous black hat, and wore it with pride. I knew all his movies, shows, comercials. But along with the love of one Corey, you had to love the other.

I always loved Corey Haim, not in the teenage I'm going to marry that guy, but in the respect that I was a big fan of his best friend, so he's got to be a good guy. Crazy thing is, I was just reminissing with my gradeschool friends about when we went to the theatre to see "Dream a Little Dream" and all the great memories we all had about them. Just days before Corey Haim passed away.

Corey Ian Haim was born in 1971, and sadly taken from us this week. I went to visit Corey Felman's website, to see if he had yet posted anything on it. I didn't expect to see anything right away. I can't imagine the pain and loss he is going through.

My heart goes out to Corey Felman, his family, and Corey Haim's family and friends. You are both a big part of my childhood, and growing up. I have never, not been a Corey fan. I will only carry on positive memories. Rest in peace Corey Haim, you will be missed.

By Orders of the Queen...

My parents were very nice to me (not sure the reasons why, MAYBE just because they love me?) because they took me to the Chicago Flower and Garden Show at Navy Pier! Just us 3. Fun for me, because this NEVER happens. (not the garden show part silly, the me and ONLY me and my parents. Sorry everyone else!) So here's our day, or most of it in pictures... enjoy...

Mom and me took a class on Container Gardening! For $20 we got the fun biodegradeable pot, the dwarf daffidol, the cyclman, ivy and the polka dot (now known as splash) lots of fun!

Here's the 3 of us! The Queen, myself and Carrots!

And my dad sneeking a snack while mom and me were in our class, BUSTED!

Pretty flowers!

Not kidding this was super cool. (I am a bug and lizard lover!) This is a female Hissing Cocaroach, from Madagascar! Very cool!!

This was cool, and I even let it crawl on my hand. It's a millapede from South America. Hard shell body, but wormy underneath. And yes the bazillion legs were kinda creepy on my hand.

I LOVE this. If you don't understand how much. Think of how much you know I LOVE coffe, and art supplies, and that is how much I LOVES this sectional. OH how pretty this would be on my deck. Right in the corner... I would live on my deck...

Who's this REALLY tall guy?

The guy from the Feldo window comercials!!

I think me and my mom need these in our yards!!

Cute bird houses... wait? Who's the crazy lady in the window!? It's the Queen mom!!

Afterwards we went to Chili's (here in town) and I enjoyed a sideways rain ass woopin' while driving down the highway, thank goodness when I got to the dark side roads it was a wall of hail. I did get home after driving 20 on the highway, and 5 on the side streets!

Thanks again mom and dad! I love you!!!

Blogger Boat

I have fallen off the ol' blogger boat, it seems as when I blog less I get more laundry, dishes, and cleaning done. But I love my blogger so, and I don't want to choose between a clean house and me rambling my brains out.

I do have lots of fun things to tell you, like how of all the damn weight loss challenges I joined, I do believe I gained the most weight. Fuck me, not kidding. I do believe I gained 4 pounds! Do I get a prize for that? Doubtful huh...

I've got a bunch of pictures, I know I love to see pictures too. Makes blogs interesting, keeps my attention... so with out any more of my yadda yadda yadda, here we go...

OMG, yes Aunt Aerial came by to see the us. She hasn't seen the kids since January 1st, I talk to her and text her all the time, but it's been forever since we hung out! Here she is with Weaky Man!

Bagel here, with the love of her life. Her Woody doll (from Toy Story if you didn't know) we have 103 days until Toy Story 3 comes out!! (June 18th!) needless to say we are ALL a bit excited. (Weaky now has his own Woody doll, which he likes, but doesn't live eat and breathe with like Bagel)

My mom the Queen, and Dad, Carrots, watched the kids Friday afternoon, so Frances and I could go see... wait for it... Alice in Wonderland! (more later) so here is my boy, whom I had to wake from his nap, he was a dead weight, sleepy grumpy boy. OH but cutter then cute. As long as I had his Fuzzy blanket with us (see right shoulder) he was all good...

And Bagel hid in the laundry room, waiting to go home. Carrots found her, and carried her to the car in these baskets, she got a buzz out of it...

This is my rarely photographed Father-in-law, and Weaky. Said FIL took me to the Irish Store, and I got to pick out sweatshirts for everyone. I even helped him pick out his. The kids got matching dark green ones, that read "South Side Irish" on the front. I actually got one for myself, that also reads "South Side Irish" I wear it in support of my Irish family, and probably ONLY durring the month of March. Otherwise, my strong and loving Italian family may stick me in a pig pen if seen wearing it. (not kidding. My cousins have pigs on their farms, and wouldn't even blink about doing such a thing)


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Then Thursday was a last minute idea, but a great one. my MIL, asked me to go with her and the kids, to the Children's Museum. WE LOVED IT. It was CLEAN, like REALLY CLEAN, and it was well staffed with vollenteers, and the parents watched their kids. AND the price was awesome, Adults $5, kids and seniors $4!! I also talked to the staff about when to, and NOT to go their. Like we got lucky because Thursdays and Fridays are usually field trips (shudder) and early morning is best. She said there is free nights, a few times a month also (I avoid things that are free like that, I am NOT a crowd person to begin with, and a crowd of small children makes me twitch) Alright, onto the pictures!

Weaky and me, making tissue paper art in the art room!

Weaky's first time painting

He painted his face, hair and his mouth (non toxic paints) and some paper too.

Again a rare photo moment, my Mother-in-law (they HATE to get thier pictures taken) here with Weaky playing at one of the train tables.

The Tot Spot was one of my favorites, and Weaky's too. It was for under 2, and he was just perfect for the slide, tunnel, and toys in here.

Bagel, being quite the little painter at home in the art room, went right to playing with the paints

She also found it quite freeing to paint herself a beard...

She sold tickets to her puppet show for me, Gramma and Weaky (think we'd get in free and all right?)

She put on a puppet show, and Weaky amused us on the big stage!

All in all we had a blast. To me it's less "museum" and more of a big preschool. I loved it, the kids loved it, my MIL loved it. So that little ol' punch card the gave us? We will fill up fast.