A big test. I barely passed.

Why am I the bad guy?

Why don't you sleep in bed?

Why do you insist on sleeping in your chair or by the door?

Why do you yell "No! Not!"?

Why do you push me?

Why won't you let me give your brother attention, with out you yelling over me?

Why can't I have an adult conversation with Daddy with out you yelling over me?

Why do you throw yourself at your grandparents, but with me it's like... eh, just mom?

Why can't you be that excited to see me?

Why are you just so damn cute?



Because I'm the mommy, that's why. Because, I have to be the bad guy, since Daddy is always working, and I know for a fact that he would give anything to stay home and help me. But with the mortgage and bills, Daddy has to be gone at 2 jobs, and 3 in the summer. So I get to do everything. (yep, you just joined the Feisty pity party) Cleaning, teaching, feeding, caring, nursing boo boo's, all of it. (that includes cats, dogs too)



Because your the older child, and you need to have all the attention, it's just how we work. I guess your more excited to see your grandparents because you see me all day, every day, so you just get used to me being around.



I just sometimes need to stop and enjoy you, and just remember, that the housework can wait, and I need to just play with you. I feel like I am spending more time yelling, and arguing with you, then I am cuddling and playing with you. (I know that is the grandparents job, is to cuddle and play, and someday I can too with my grandkids. But I get jealous that they can drop everything and just play for a few days)



I want to just spend some time with your brother, just to play and watch him grow, but you only give me a few minutes with him and your yelling for me. It drives me insane!

Last night was a hard night for me. It's rare that my life makes me cry with frustration. You would not go to bed, you slept behind your door, and kicked the door, constantly. Your banging drove me to tears, so I called Spaghetti at work, I must have been to loud on the phone, and Spike woke up screaming, it was 11:15 at night. All I wanted to do was sleep.

After numerous attempt to put you back into bed, spray the monster spray, check for boogie men, and tuck you in. Only to have you bolt from your bed, right back to the door, kicking again.
I went to Spikes room to try and rock him back to sleep, but he was not having it.

Like I said, it's rare that the two of you can bring me to such frustration that I just run away crying. But coming down with a cold, and my jaw still is sore from the dentist on Monday, I took 2 pillows, my blanket and went down and slept in the basement t.v. room with the dogs till 4 am.

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This morning all is good in the hood. Kids are happy. I had a talk with Bagel, asking her why she doesn't like her bed. What she likes about the corner by the door. (she has a night light, a flash light, her crib ocean wonders, and a white noise machine)

So I made her blankets into a quick tent this morning. And invited Bagel to come in with me. She loved it. I explained that I didn't like the dark, I sleep with my closet light on, and my head is always covered (yup, 30 and still doin' it) I then remembered that when I was a kid, and a teenager, I had one of those bed tents... soooo, I am thinking after I drop off the tots at Gramma and Grampa Mc's house today, I will be going to target to pick out a lovely bed tent!

And that is my last 12 hours. Oh and I woke up with a sore throat that makes gargling shards of glass sound fun. Super.