I can see clearly now.

I was over at Cristins blog, Tiptoeing through the Tulips she had this fun link for The Spin Cycle, to weird each time I wanted to right click on it, I got a message that said "Oh I'm picking out a thermos for you" not kidding.

So I left clicked and followed the link, to Sprites Keeper, because that's all I need is another blog to follow! There are not enough hours in the day people! I love to many blogs!!

Alright, so to the matter at hand, I get to put my spin on a subject.

AND today being the special Holiday that it is... MLK day, I thought that should be a great subject!

Ready? Because it's about race. And how I feel about it. How I was raised around it. And how I am now about it.

If you haven't noticed I am white, pretty pasty at that, kinda see through opaque colored skin. Blonde hair, blue eyes. I am Italian, Polish, German, French, English and American Indian. I married a Irish, German, Welsh dark haired guy, who is a shade tanner then I am. We have two blonde haired, blue eyed children. Post family for "white people" is where I'm going with this.

I was raised in a City with many mixed races south of Chicago, BUT I grew up going to a Catholic school, with ALL white kids, only a few hispanics (the town is FULL of Catholic schools 8 to be exact) the Catholic school 4 blocks away was mostly blacks, hispanics and some white kids.

So back to me. I was raised around white people, I heard my elder relatives use the N word like it was any other word in the dictionary. Like it was ok. I was told to NEVER use it around black people. But it was ok to say it behind their backs, and that every race had a nick name. Even white people.

Once I graduated grade school I went to a public school, given the choice from my parents, they would pay for Catholic H.S. if I would TRY hard. If not I could just go to public school. Well shit, if your offering me the easy way, lets go public.

I was in a school where your class was about 650+ students, average about 2600 students. A mix of the preppy kids with money from the West side, the lower income kids from the East side, and then us middle class kids. Let's just say I was open to new idea's, excited to move on, grade school was great but I wanted to make new friends, and maybe be cool for once in my life. (going from my safe little Catholic school to was myself and 5 other kids. Mix the 6 of us into 2600 other people, and let's just say I didn't see my old friends much)

I was overwhelmed by the kids, but welcoming to the different styles, cliques, and people around me. Let's move to my first day at lunch. I went through the line wondering if I could find an empty table to sit at. Wondering if someone would invite me over. I leave the line and find a table near the door, there is an Chinese girl sitting there, she looks up and smiles, she asks me to sit with her. Fun, a new friend, she reminded me of my pen pal from China I had when I was younger. This girls name was Yi. She had a friend to sit with us, Isidra, she was hispanic. Isidra had a friend named Elicia, she was black. It was a mix of 4 races and from that day forward, I vowed to never use racial slurs again.

I spent my 4 years in H.S. making friends, meeting people with families from different coutries, and who spoke different languages, and had these great cultures. I had some white friends who still used the N word and it was dirtier then the smoking habits they had.

After H.S. I met Spaghetti, we had a discussion about the N word, and how he NEVER used it, and he explained his reasons. I fell in love with his reasons. And it made me a better person because of it. I then worked at a bank, and I met T. she was tall, beautiful, smart, and friendly. She had a great family, and was a wonderful people person.

T and I went out one night, to dance, drink and be friends.

Yea, that was me. The gap poster child, in my little black boots, jeans and sweater. T was a stylish girl who had helped me get ready, gave me rules about boys, and showed me how to dance (not like a white girl)

She gave me her cell number, and after a few months of hanging out, and being introduced to her friends as her girl, I decided to tell her.

I asked her to go into the bankers office with me where we worked, and it wouldn't take long. We sat, and she seemed scared. I said this may be dumb to you, but here it goes. I told her I valued her friendship, and I wanted her to know it ment more to me then she knew. She opened my eyes, and taught me to value people as people. Not as a color. I told her that she was the first black person I had talked to on the phone, rode in a car with, and socially hung out with.

When Spaghetti and I were planning our wedding one of his groomsman backed out, due to expense of travel plans. We could be uneven in numbers, but Spaghetti suggested his co-worker B. I said sure. I was nervous around B, he was a big black guy, and was a bit thug is, known for being a playa, of playa's. I was excited about him being in the bridal party though, he showed me again, not to judge.

A funny side story, B invited us to his wedding a few months later, and Spaghetti and I were the ONLY white people there. Let me tell you if no one noticed, they sure did when we were doing the Cha cha slide, and I was the only one who did the confused head turn when everyone did the Charlie Brown. To make it more obvious, they made the d.j. replay the song, so they could all teach me the Charlie Brown. Mind you each time I am at wedding of mostly white people, I proudly do the Charlie Brown to this song.

I have friends that I scrapbook with. I meet with them. And after the 3 black girls leave, they often let the N word slip. I was floored.

Floored.

These are the girls that are SUPER Christians, and way ANTI swearing, and it confused me that they said this. They laughed at me and said some people don't get it. I guess I don't. I still see them, but after hearing the N, word and other nightly discussions of how gays are delusional people that are just gross. I still attend meetings, and events, but just not so much hanging out afterwards. Now let me state that they all know how I feel, and that I am offended by them, some of them say I am silly, but a few say that we should agree to disagree, and that they like me because I stand up for what I believe in. Even if we don't agree.

I grew up with everyone saying, let's be color blind. Sure let's all be black and white, or gray? Nope. I like something else I heard. Let's NOT be color blind. Let's see everyones colors, and embrace the differences that we all have. Realize we are all human.

I love having friends of all races, I am slighlty bothered that I live in a small country village of 98% white people. That they are mostly conservative, republicans, who are afraid of having any other race in town, for it will go down in value. I loved it when my new neighbor moved in and she is a hispanic, single mom with two beautiful children, fathered by a white guy, but she's now dating a black guy. I love it. I think she almost cried when I told her to come hang out on our deck so we could meet her boyfriend. She said I was the first neighbor to speak to her. She's lived her for almost 2 years. We agree on hip hop music, and said when the neighbors blast their country crap from their garages we should blast a bit of Kanye their way.

I vow to make it my mission to make sure my children understand other races, cultures, and lifestyles. That they judge only after they get to know someone. I take it upon myself and Spaghetti to teach them this.

So Happy MLK day everyone. Thank you MLK for opening my eyes, so Spaghetti and I can teach our children to respect others. Thank you.